Valerie Parv - Live To Tell

He spun back in the direction of their camp where Blake had supplied them with a .303 rifle for protection. She grabbed Nigel’s arm, barely halting his progress. “You can’t shoot it. Crocodiles are a protected species.”

“Not if they attack humans,” he spat at her.

“It didn’t attack. You invaded its territory,” she said, as shaken by the near miss as he was. “If you injure it instead of killing it, you could make matters worse.”

His scathing look raked her. “Worse than nearly being dragged under and eaten alive?”

She refrained from repeating Blake’s lesson that crocodiles didn’t eat their prey alive. They rolled you over and over until you drowned, then stowed you in an underwater lair to be eaten once you’d softened sufficiently. The very thought made her sick. She had a feeling Nigel wouldn’t welcome the reminder right now. If he hadn’t had such a firm grip on the tree…

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she said softly.

His stare remained wintry. “Are you?”

“Of course I am.”

“Because you care about me, or because you want to get your story?”

“No story is worth a life.”

“No? Then tell your boss what she can do with this assignment.”

She gestured impatiently. “You know why I can’t.”

“Because you need Karen to use her influence with her husband. Isn’t there another way to keep Lauren’s home open that doesn’t involve risking both our necks?”

“None that Karen was prepared to share with me,” Jo said, too shaken to hide her bitterness. Ever since the editor heard about Diamond Downs, she’d had a bee in her bonnet about setting a feature there. Jo would have been happy simply to interview the Logan family, but for some reason, Karen wouldn’t hear of it. “Too predictable for Scene Weekly. Our readers expect an inside story, a sense of being there,” she’d told Jo. That’s when she’d hatched the idea of having Jo live off the land for a month and report on the experience diary-style in each issue.

Nor was Karen above using Jo’s worry about Lauren to gain Jo’s cooperation. “This is the way the world works,” she’d said with a shrug. “You want me to do something for you, you do something for me.”

Karen’s husband, Ron, was the developer whose company wanted to develop the land where Lauren’s home, Hawthorn Lodge, stood. Jo had been Lauren’s surrogate big sister, watching her grow from a shy, introverted girl with a learning disability to the charming young woman she was now. Much of that progress was due to the sheltered environment Lauren shared with seven young people like herself and one understanding set of house parents. Karen knew as well as Jo that Lauren would be lost out in the world, even if Jo took her in. When the home had been extensively remodeled the previous year, Lauren had stopped speaking for over two months, until she adjusted to the changes. Jo hated to think how Lauren might respond if forced to move to a new location.

Nigel read the truth in Jo’s eyes. “You’re not giving up, are you, not even after what just happened?”

Jo wished she could give him the answer she knew he wanted, but she couldn’t. “It was as much our fault as the crocodile’s. We can learn from this and move on,” she said.

“That’s the first true thing you’ve said since we got here. We can learn from this and move on.”

Something in his voice made her blood chill. “I mean together.”

“No, you mean I can learn to do things your way by your rules, as usual.”

“You’re putting words into my mouth.”

“I’m stating facts. Nearly getting eaten makes you see things with crystal clarity. I wanted to do this because I care for you, Jo. I want you to feel the same way about me. But it won’t happen as long as every waking minute is taken up with staying alive.”

“What are you saying?”

“I want you to give this up.”

At the pleading note in his voice, she wavered. Maybe she didn’t have much sense, but giving up wasn’t on her agenda. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” she said, meaning it.

“You can’t do this by yourself.”

“The Logans are there if I need help.”

“Meaning Blake Stirton, I suppose.”

“Meaning the Logan family. This has nothing to do with Blake.”

Nigel pushed his way toward their camp as if he had difficulty making his limbs obey him. Shock was probably setting in, but he wasn’t about to let her sympathize with him, she saw from his shuttered expression. “Nothing to do with Blake,” he sneered. “So I imagined the way you hung on to his every word?”

“Of course you didn’t. Our survival depends on listening to his advice,” she snapped, tired of defending herself. If Nigel had paid more attention to Blake’s briefing instead of being jealous of the other man, they might not be having this discussion now.

Nigel dragged a pack out of the tent. “Well, not anymore. You can go or stay as you choose. I’ve made my decision.”

He began to stuff clothes and possessions into the pack, making it clear he was serious. She hadn’t doubted it. Nigel always did what he said he’d do. She’d been frankly astonished when he’d volunteered to take part in this experiment. Spontaneous wasn’t in his vocabulary.

She had to try one last time. “You don’t have to leave. I know you had a bad scare and you’re entitled to be rattled.”

He leveled a searing look at her. “Rattled doesn’t begin to describe how it feels to stare death in the face. I’m getting out of here while I still can.”

“I can’t exactly blame you,” she admitted. “I’m sorry I got you into this in the first place.”

He stopped packing long enough to smile fleetingly at her. “I’m sorry, too. I thought we might get back some of the romance we used to have, but it isn’t going to happen, is it?”

“I told you it was over between us long ago,” she reminded him.

He straightened. “You didn’t tell me you were hoping to find some he-man who can swing through trees on a vine and catch your dinner with his bare hands. I’m a bloody good businessman, but that will never be enough for you, will it?”

She couldn’t argue with his assessment of himself. They’d met through the magazine, and she’d been attracted by his good looks and the rapid-fire way his mind worked. “I thought this was about a crocodile attacking you. How did it get to be about us?” she asked.

“You must have known how much I wanted things to work out between us.”

She let a sigh whisper past her lips. “I hoped you would learn something about your own strengths, as well. Isn’t that why people undertake these survival-type challenges?”

“I’ve learned all I needed to. Not only that I don’t want to be around man-eating crocodiles, but that I don’t want to be molded into something I’m not.”

“I never tried to mold you into anything.”

“No? Then why didn’t you listen when I said I thought this project was a bad idea?”

He was right. She hadn’t listened. She’d been too fixated on satisfying Karen. At least that had been the reason Jo had given herself. Now she wondered if Nigel wasn’t right. Saving Lauren’s home had been Jo’s justification for agreeing to undertake the assignment, but she wasn’t the reason Jo was here. At least not the whole reason. “I’ll miss your help,” she conceded.

He didn’t relent. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.” His tone said he wouldn’t hold out much hope.

The snap of a dry twig outside brought her head up. “Someone’s out there.”

His head swung around. “What now, rampaging buffalo?”

“It sounded more like a footstep.” Perhaps Blake had come to check on their progress. The flood of relief accompanying this thought was something she’d have to think about later.