Kimberley Chambers - The Feud

How Jessica kept her mouth shut that week, she would never know. She didn’t tell a soul, not even the girls at work. The following Saturday, she could barely contain her excitement and was out of bed before the birds had even started singing. She was unable to eat any breakfast, but made her parents boiled eggs, toast and tea and took it into their bedroom.

‘What’s all this in aid of?’ her mother said, as she handed her the tray.

Jessica smiled. ‘Eddie’s coming round at twelve and I need you both to be here.’

Stanley sat up and eyed his daughter suspiciously. ‘What’s going on, Jessica?’

‘Nothing untoward, Dad. Ed just wants to speak to you both, that’s all.’

Hearing her brother moving about, Jessica swiftly left her parents’ room and knocked on Raymond’s door.

‘Enter,’ he shouted.

Jessica sat on his bed while he got himself ready. Raymond was a vain little sod and took longer to get his hair looking right than she did.

‘What you up to today?’ she asked him.

‘I’ve got band practice, then I’m taking some bird out tonight.’

‘Anyone I know?’ Jessica asked him.

Raymond laughed and shook his head. He had a different girl on his arm every week and it was a standing joke between him and Jessica.

‘What you up to then, sis?’

Jessica smiled. ‘Eddie’s coming round at twelve and then he’s taking me shopping. I wanted you to meet him, Ray. Can’t you hang about and say a quick hello to him, then go out after?’

Raymond checked his appearance in the full-length mirror. ‘Sorry Jess, no can do. I’m meeting the boys at half-ten and they can’t exactly practise without their drummer.’

Jessica stood up and gave her younger brother a hug. ‘You have a good day and I want you to promise me that you’ll make time to have a drink with me and Ed soon.’

Raymond wriggled out of her arms and checked his shirt for creases. ‘I promise. Why are you being all soppy and emotional?’

Jessica giggled. ‘You’ll find out later.’

As the clock struck twelve, Stanley sat fidgeting in his armchair. He’d arranged to meet his mate Jock in the pub at one and he was sick of this poxy Eddie messing up his Saturdays.

‘I’ll give him till half-twelve and if he ain’t here, I’m off out,’ he mumbled.

‘You will do no such thing. You’ll go out when I say you can go out,’ Joyce told him.

Stan looked at the telly and said nothing. Ever since Jess had said that Eddie wanted to see them, his stomach had been in knots. Stan had a feeling that Mr Fucking Charming Bollocks wanted to take his daughter away on holiday and, if that was the case, he’d be far from happy about it.

Hearing a car engine, Joyce jumped out of her chair and lifted the curtain. She’d been bubbling with excitement all morning and was dying to know what Eddie needed to see them for. With a bit of luck he wanted to ask their permission to marry Jess.

‘Here he is,’ Joyce said, as the posh gold Mercedes pulled up.

Eddie picked up the bouquet and bottle of Chivas Regal he’d bought, and strolled up the path.

‘How lovely to see you again, Joyce,’ he said, handing her the flowers.

‘Awww, you shouldn’t have, they’re beautiful. Let me put them in a vase.’

Eddie gave Jessica a lingering kiss and then followed her into the living room.

‘Jess said you liked a drop of Scotch,’ he said, handing Stan the bottle.

‘Thanks,’ Stan said ungratefully. If Eddie had turned up bearing solid gold bars, he still wouldn’t like the bastard.

‘Go and keep your mum company while I have a little chat with your dad,’ Eddie told his girlfriend.

Jess gave his hand a good-luck squeeze and left the room.

Not one to go round the houses, Eddie came straight to the point. ‘I have fallen head over heels for your Jessica, Mr Smith. She means the world to me and I would like to ask for her hand in marriage.’

Stanley felt every hair on his body stand up on end. Aware of his heart racing and his hands shaking, he urged Eddie to pour him a drink. Aware that Stan had turned a whiter shade of pale, Eddie was quite concerned.

‘You don’t look very well. Are you OK?’ he asked, as he handed him a large Scotch.

Stanley downed the drink in one and immediately asked for a refill.

Desperate for an answer from the shivering wreck of a man, Eddie continued talking. ‘Look, I know how you must feel and I know Jessica is still very young. But, I promise you, Mr Smith, you have my word that I will cherish and take good care of her.’

Unable to think of anything nice to say, Stanley grabbed the bottle of Chivas Regal and poured himself yet another.

‘It’s not up to me. Go and ask her mother,’ Stanley muttered.

Eddie stood up and walked into the kitchen. ‘Go and see your dad, Jess, I need to have a chat with your mum.’

Joyce smiled as he closed the kitchen door. ‘Would you like some fruit cake?’ she asked.

Eddie shook his head and cut straight to the chase. ‘I am totally in love with your Jessica and I want to marry her. I’ve had a little chat with your husband and he said it’s up to you, Joyce. I know she’s very young, but I promise you with all my heart that I’ll take good care of her.’

To say Joyce was over the moon was putting it mildly. Unable to stop herself, she flung her arms around Eddie’s neck.

‘I am so happy,’ she sobbed. ‘Welcome to the family, Eddie. My Jessica is a very lucky girl and I’d be proud to call you my son-in-law.’

Eddie smiled. ‘I’ve got a bottle of champagne in the car. I’ll bring it in and we can have a toast.’

Joyce sorted out her best crystal glasses and took four into the living room. She hugged Jessica. ‘Congratulations, darling. Eddie’s a wonderful man – you’ve bagged yourself a good one there.’

Noticing Stanley had a face like a smacked arse, Joyce kicked his leg. ‘For Christ’s sake cheer up, you miserable old bastard.’

Stanley said nothing as he was handed a glass of champagne.

Eddie kissed Jessica gently on the forehead. ‘I’m taking Jess to Hatton Garden to choose a ring this afternoon. She can have the biggest diamond in the shop.’

Joyce couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. The only rock Stan had ever bought her was a poxy old topaz. ‘You’ll have to pop back and show me your ring,’ she said to Jess.

‘I’ll show you tomorrow. Now we’re engaged to be married, you don’t mind if I stay round Ed’s tonight, do you, Mum? We want to go out for a meal to celebrate and we won’t be back till late.’

Joyce nodded. ‘That’s fine by me, love.’

Stanley looked at his wife in disgust. His daughter wasn’t even married yet and Joyce was encouraging her to hawk her mutton.

‘To my beautiful wife-to-be,’ Eddie said, holding his glass aloft.

‘To Jessica and Eddie,’ Joycie crowed.

Stan looked at the clock. It was nearly half-past one and he was late to meet Jock. Desperate to get away from the man who had led his daughter astray, he stood up. ‘I’m going out now.’

‘You can’t go out yet. We’re in the middle of a celebration,’ Joyce said angrily.

Eddie decided to stick up for his future father-in-law. ‘It’s fine, Joyce. To be honest, me and Jess need to make a move now ourselves. I’ll drop you at the pub, Stan, if you like?’

Stanley shook his head. He’d rather crawl there on all fours than get inside Eddie’s car.

Joyce tutted as her husband slunk away and then hugged both Jessica and Eddie. ‘Have a nice evening and if you can’t be good, be careful,’ she giggled.

Feeling herself going red, Jessica dragged Eddie out of the front door. ‘My mum is just so embarrassing at times,’ she moaned to her fiancé.