Tilly Bagshawe - Sidney Sheldon’s The Silent Widow

‘A burger,’ said Nikki.

‘There you go.’ Gretchen sat back, satisfied she’d proved her point. ‘Red meat. That’s the worst thing for nightmares.’

‘Is it?’

‘Yup. Apart from cheese. Oh my God, it wasn’t a cheeseburger, was it?’ Gretchen gasped melodramatically.

Nikki laughed and confessed that, unfortunately, it was, but that she really didn’t feel her diet was to blame for her night terrors.

‘Well, what do you think it is then?’ Gretchen asked.

‘I don’t know,’ said Nikki. ‘Guilt, maybe?’

Gretchen didn’t buy it. ‘That’s baloney. What have you got to be guilty about? Doug’s death was an accident.’

‘I know.’

‘You were an amazing wife to him, Nikki.’

‘An amazing, infertile wife,’ Nikki added wistfully.

Gretchen frowned. ‘Come on. You were the one who cared about that, far more than Doug ever did.’

Was that true? Nikki couldn’t remember any more.

‘Maybe it’s anger, then,’ she said. ‘Maybe I’m still so damn angry at him, my subconscious is trying to ease the pressure by having me sadistically murder my already dead husband in fantasy?’

‘You know what I think?’ Gretchen said. ‘I think all you psychologists are full of shit. It’s a dream. It doesn’t mean anything. I mean, Christ, Nik, you’ve been under a hell of a lot of stress. No wonder your subconscious is going a bit haywire. What you need is a distraction.’

‘Such as?’ Nikki asked wearily.

‘Well,’ Gretchen leaned forward conspiratorially. ‘I assume you’ve been following all the stuff about your poor murdered patient and Willie Baden?’

Reaching down beneath the table for her pocketbook, Gretchen pulled out the latest copy of US Weekly . Paparazzi pictures of the Rams’ owner, looking paunchy and dreadfully old on the beach in Mexico, had been placed alongside glamour shots of Lisa Flannagan from her modeling days. Between these, and three pages of lurid prose about Willie and Lisa’s affair, under the headline ‘Baden’s Betrayal’, were a few pictures of Valentina Baden, Willie’s wife.

Nikki studied them closely. Mrs Baden was an attractive woman for her age, which she guessed was probably early sixties. Slim and elegant with a neatly trimmed bob of gray-blond hair. But at the same time she looked haggard and hounded in all of the paparazzi photographs, using her sarong as a shield and cowering behind oversized sunglasses.

Leafing through the feature, Nikki shook her head angrily. ‘Poor woman. Why don’t they leave her alone?’

Gretchen shrugged. ‘They never leave anyone alone. You know that. And whatever else Valentina Baden may be, she’s not poor.’

‘You know what I mean,’ said Nikki.

‘I do, but I suspect you’re wrong about that too,’ said Gretchen. ‘My guess is she’s completely used to his affairs by now. I mean, it’s not as if this murdered girl was his first.’

‘Bastard,’ Nikki muttered under her breath.

‘Maybe they have an “arrangement”?’ said Gretchen jokingly. ‘Valentina might be a cougar with a string of young lovers for all we know.’

‘Don’t be facile,’ Nikki snapped. ‘This is what men do. This is his shit, not hers.’

Gretchen recoiled at Nikki’s anger, white-hot suddenly. Neither of them knew the Badens personally, after all. This was just gossip, something the old Nikki would have enjoyed. Before Doug’s death knocked all the joy out of her.

‘I don’t understand you sometimes,’ she observed quietly.

‘What do you mean?’ said Nikki.

‘I thought you’d be outraged that the media are focusing on Willie Baden and the affair, rather than the actual murder. I mean, this poor patient of yours is dead. Shouldn’t that be the story? But instead you seem more worried about Baden’s wife, who isn’t dead, and who knew what she was signing up for!’

‘No one signs up for betrayal,’ Nikki said bluntly. ‘And besides, Lisa Flannagan is dead. She can’t be hurt any more. Unlike Valentina Baden.’ She jabbed a finger furiously at the magazine. ‘I mean, she’s the only innocent party here. Lisa wasn’t innocent! Trust me, I knew the girl. She was a selfish, lying narcissist, sleeping with another woman’s husband for money.’

Gretchen said nothing, but a feeling of deep unease settled over her, as it did so often with Nikki nowadays. Ever since the awful night of Doug’s car crash, Gretchen had watched Nikki being whipsawed between grief and anger. The circumstances of Doug’s death had changed her. Made her harder. Colder. Less forgiving. Gretchen hoped the change was temporary.

‘Well, if it’s any consolation, I think Valentina Baden’s a tougher cookie than you give her credit for,’ she said, trying to lighten the mood a little. ‘Before she married Willie she was with some hotshot financier who she completely took to the cleaners in their divorce.’

‘Really?’ Nikki was intrigued, her anger apparently exhausted for the moment. Not for the first time, she marveled at Gretchen’s vast knowledge of celebrity gossip. ‘How do you know this stuff?’

‘I read,’ said Gretchen. ‘Valentina’s actually had an amazing life. She grew up in Mexico City and when she was a teenager her younger sister went missing and they never saw her again. Can you imagine? She’s given interviews about it, how the family assumed the sister was dead but they never knew for sure. Or whether she’d been raped or kidnapped or what had happened to her.’

‘How awful,’ said Nikki, feelingly. ‘That must have been torture.’

‘Valentina never had children of her own,’ Gretchen went on, ‘but she used her husband’s money to set up a charity to help families of missing kids. Do you remember the Clancy case?’

Nikki thought about it. Clancy. The name rang a vague bell.

‘A young American au pair went missing while working in Mexico City,’ said Gretchen. ‘It was probably about ten years ago now.’

Nikki cast her mind back. ‘I do remember! I think I saw the dad on TV. Wasn’t he a firefighter or something?’

‘Right,’ said Gretchen. ‘Well, it was Valentina Baden’s money that put him on TV and brought public attention to the search for his daughter. I think Valentina felt a personal connection to the case, because of the Mexico City thing and her sister. Charlotte, the girl’s name was. Charlotte Clancy.’

‘Did they ever find her?’

Gretchen shook her head. ‘Never. It was like Valentina’s sister all over again. The endless not knowing. All I’m saying is, Willie Baden’s wife has been through a hell of a lot worse in her life than this. It’s your murdered patient I feel sorry for. So young!’

‘She was young,’ Nikki agreed, softening. ‘And, you know, she was trying to improve her life. It’s not that I don’t feel terrible about Lisa—’

‘Do you think Willie had her bumped off?’ Gretchen interrupted breathlessly. ‘You know, took out a hit on her?’

Closing the magazine, Nikki laughed. ‘You’ve been overdosing on The Sopranos again, Gretch. A “hit”?’

‘I’m serious!’ protested Gretchen. ‘I mean, he’s rich enough, right? I’ll bet he knows people who know people.’

Nikki shook her head. ‘Willie didn’t do it. It was already over between them. Although, he was angry about her leaving,’ she mused, thinking back to her final session with Lisa, and Lisa’s almost throwaway remarks about Baden smashing china and making threats when she called it quits.

‘You see?’ Gretchen warmed to her theme. ‘He had motive.’

Nikki shook her head. ‘I don’t think it was Willie Baden. His pride was hurt in the moment. No one likes being dumped. But I never got the sense Lisa was afraid of him.’