Holly Martin - One Hundred Proposals

I looked around for the toilets but there was nothing else up here. On the other side of the room were several more pods. These pods were clearly the toilets and were obviously the reason for such amusement from the other guests.

I opened the door on one of them, expecting to hear some kind of space age whoosh and was slightly disappointed when I didn’t.

Inside was the weirdest toilet I had ever seen. There was no seat at all. I walked in and closed the door behind me. It was obviously some foreign kind of toilet where you stand. A long ceramic oval hung from the wall jutting out at the bottom to catch the waste. I stared at it – how on earth was I supposed to pee in that? Backwards seemed the only safe option. With a bit of negotiating I pointed my bum in the right direction and leaned forward into a sort of half squat. I quickly finished and after redressing I left the pod, dying to tell Harry about the very weird toilets. He was standing right outside and looked shocked to see me coming out of one of the pods.

‘What?’ I said

‘These are the boys’ toilets.’

I laughed. ‘No they’re not, the waitress pointed me up these stairs.’

‘Yes, the girls’ pods are over there.’ He pointed to the other side of the stairs where several pods were bathed in pink lights in comparison to the pods where I was that were bathed in blue.

Harry peered over my shoulder and burst out laughing. ‘Did the urinals not give you a clue?’

I looked back and gasped in horror. I had just peed in a urinal. Now he had pointed it out to me it was obvious. It wasn’t some weird foreign type toilet at all, just a bog standard urinal. I felt my cheeks glow crimson.

‘I’m intrigued. How exactly did you manage to pee in there?’

I quickly hurried to the sinks and washed my hands. ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’

I heard Harry go into one of the pods, his laughter so loud I could hear him from the outside.

Chapter Three

I was shaken gently awake the next day. It was pitch black but the hand continued to shake me.

‘Harry?’ I croaked, though I knew it was him, I could smell his glorious scent.

‘Yeah, it’s me.’

I leaned over and snapped on the lamp on the bedside table, shielding my eyes from the sudden glare.

‘Here, I made you a coffee. The café isn’t open yet. It won’t be as good as theirs, you don’t have any hazelnut syrup for a start, but it might help to wake you up.’

I took the coffee numbly and stared at him in confusion.

‘You look good by the way, nice pyjamas.’

I peered over at the alarm clock, blearily. It was four a.m. I put the coffee down and picked up the clock to look at it more closely.

‘It’s four o’clock!’ I said, incredulous. I wasn’t even aware that there was two four o’clocks in one day.

‘Yes it is.’

‘In the morning!’

‘How very perceptive of you.’

‘Did we discuss this last night?’ I racked my brains for any conversation that would have alerted me to the fact that Harry would be disturbing me at this ungodly hour.

After leaving The Glade the day before, we had walked along the Thames as the sun set and the moon danced over the water. It had been incredibly romantic, apart from at the end of our wonderful date, when Harry had rushed off to meet another woman. But I did get a goodnight kiss. On the cheek, but still, a kiss was a kiss.

But as we had chatted, there had been no mention of this ridiculously early intrusion. I would have protested if I’d known.

‘No, that’s part of the surprise,’ he said, pulling the duvet off me. I pulled it back, not ready to face the chill of the morning yet.

‘A proposal?’ My heart leapt a little. Despite my reticence about being proposed to, I was actually looking forward to seeing what Harry would do next.

‘Of course. This one’s a good one.’

‘Let me tell you, any proposal that starts at four o’clock in the morning is not going to be a good one.’

‘You’ll love it.’

I threw myself back down on the bed, covering myself with the duvet.

‘No, you can’t make me get up.’

‘Suzie, you have two choices, you can either get dressed now and come with me or...’

‘I’ll take the ‘or’ whatever it is, definitely the ‘or’.’

‘Ok, if you insist.’

‘I do.’

There was silence beyond the duvet, and a shifting of weight indicated that Harry had got off the bed. Had I hurt his feelings? Had he gone?

Suddenly the duvet was ripped off me and Harry grabbed my arms, pulled me up into a sitting position and then threw me over his shoulder. He turned and ran for the door.

‘What are you doing?’ I squealed.

‘The ‘or’ was going in your pyjamas.’

Harry ran down the stairs, opened the flat door and ran outside with me still over his shoulder. The street outside was deserted.

‘No, no, please, I’ll be good, I’ll get dressed I promise, just don’t kidnap me in my pyjamas.’

Harry lowered me to the ground carefully. ‘You promise, you’ll go straight back in there and get dressed right away?’

I put my hand up in a Girl Guide salute. ‘I promise.’

‘Very well, you have five minutes.’

I nodded at him and went back up the stairs, but if I thought I could sneak back into bed that thought was quickly quelled as Harry followed close behind.

*

Harry pulled his car into an empty car park and I looked around blearily. I had dozed in the car, unable to keep my eyes open as Harry’s old Beetle, Betty, bumped along the roads. The heating had two settings, scorching hot or off. In the cold winter morning, scorching hot was the only answer but it had made me even sleepier. Harry had tried to placate my frown with a full English breakfast at some greasy spoon road café. It had woken me up a bit.

Harry leaned over to me and zipped up my fleece I was wearing. I was told to bring warm clothes, but that was the only clue as to what I was doing today.

‘Now listen, I had to pull in a big favour for this, and had to tell a whopping lie to get it at the last minute. You need to humour me in this, otherwise Frank will be disappointed.’

‘Frank?’ I racked my brain for a Frank but came up with nothing.

‘I told him we were a couple, that was the only way I could arrange it so quickly. It takes months to wait for this kind of thing, and Frank was so delighted, after all the business we’ve put his way, he was happy to help.’

I was stumped, my brain still not firing on all cylinders. Harry got out and held the door open for me, not because he was chivalrous, although he had wonderful manners, but because Betty’s door could only be opened from the outside. With Harry’s wealth, I often wondered why he didn’t buy something better, but he loved Betty with a loyalty that I adored.

He grabbed a cool box from the boot and then took my hand as we walked round some bushes into a field. I had to marvel at how my hand fitted perfectly in his.

The field was lit with barely muted greys. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but it was that time of the morning when the light came with a promise of what was to come. The grass was wet with dew and our breath formed misty shapes in front of us as we walked.

‘So we’re together, a loving couple?’ I nodded, my brain finally waking up as the seed of this idea started to grow.

He grinned as he nodded.

‘So as far as Frank is concerned, this is a real proposal?’

‘Yes.’

I bit my lip as a delicious thrill ran through me. ‘So he’ll be expecting a real reaction.’

‘Yes. You can tell me what you think about this later, give me a true reaction. It’s probably too clichéd for you, but in front of Frank you need to be delighted.’