Dawn O’Porter - The Cows

Published by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers 2017

Copyright © Dawn O’Porter 2017

Jacket design by Claire Ward © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2018

Jacket photograph © Shutterstock.com

Dawn O’Porter asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780008126032

Ebook Edition © March 2018 ISBN: 9780008126049

Version: 2020-08-21

‘ The Cows is a funny, smart, kind, incredibly truthful book about women … about how complicated our relationship with each other can be, about all the shame, judgement, envy and love that being alive and female entails’

POLLY VERNON

‘Feisty characters and fearless prose, The Cows is totally addictive’

Heat

‘A zippy and hilarious book … tackles some of the most serious issues that affect modern women today’

The Pool

‘O’Porter’s wise and witty narrative has many thought-provoking situations and concepts. Different, poignant and smart – I loved it’

SARA LAWRENCE, Daily Mail

‘Entertaining and thought-provoking’

Irish Times

‘Sometimes hilarious and sometimes poignant, but always rollicking … A feel-good read which will resonate with any woman’

Daily Express

‘Fierce and funny’

BRYONY GORDON, Daily Telegraph

‘A whirlwind of a story about three women finding their voice amid societal pressures … Excellent, funny, and decidedly unpatronising’

Metro

‘Dawn’s writing is addictive – fearless, beyond feisty and seriously funny’

MEL GIEDROYC

‘Fearless, frank and excruciatingly funny … The lives of Tara, Cam and Stella are insightful, but be warned – you won’t stop thinking about them for weeks!’

OK

‘Smart and insightful’

Red

‘I loved it. Funny, moving, twisty … Wow! I couldn’t stop reading it’

JILL MANSELL

‘We’ve had Bridget Jones , now The Cows is setting the agenda for a new generation of readers’

No. 1 Magazine

‘Compulsive … I can’t wait for the next one’

SHAPPI KHORSANDI

‘An amazing book about choices and being yourself’

Prima

‘Smart, fresh and really readable – I loved it’

TASMINA PERRY

‘Funny and excruciating. You’ll think about it for weeks!’

KRISTEN WIIG

‘A terrifically fun read’

YOU Magazine

For Chris and Art.

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright Copyright Copyright Praise for The Cows Dedication Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Six Months Later Acknowledgements Keep Reading … About the Author About the Publisher Published by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers 2017 Copyright © Dawn O’Porter 2017 Jacket design by Claire Ward © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2018 Jacket photograph © Shutterstock.com Dawn O’Porter asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library. This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins. Source ISBN: 9780008126032 Ebook Edition © March 2018 ISBN: 9780008126049 Version: 2020-08-21

Praise for The Cows

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Six Months Later

Acknowledgements

Keep Reading …

About the Author

About the Publisher

COW [n] /ka /:

A fully grown female animal of a domesticated breed of cattle, used as a source of milk or beef.

A cow is officially the name given to a heifer when it has had a calf.

If you want a good piece of meat, you need to go for the heifer because cows, having been destroyed by childbearing, do not a good steak make. Cows are incredibly complex animals; they form friendships and even fall in love, they experience fear, anger and can bear grudges.