Katerina Diamond - The Angel

‘Hey.’ A man with a mop of thick black curls was standing in his doorway. He was about as tall as Gabriel but he was bulkier; not fat, but not shredded either.

‘Hi.’ Gabriel folded his arms and stood by the door, just inside as though some invisible force-field would protect him if something bad should happen.

‘I’m Solomon Banks, I’m two cells down.’ The man pointed to the left of him. ‘Everyone calls me Sol.’

‘I’m Gabriel.’

‘Hi Gabe.’ A big smile spread across Sol’s face. It was warm and friendly-looking, but Gabriel had already been warned that in prison everyone is out to get you. The police had told him, the duty solicitor, the nurse. They had all told him to watch himself, whether to scare him or give him a heads-up he didn’t know. Everyone is just looking out for themselves. ‘If you grab your bowl and stuff I’ll take you down to the servery,’ Sol continued. ‘The food’s not great but it’s not too bad either.’

‘Thanks.’ Gabriel was hungry. Maybe he needed to take a chance with this Solomon guy. Surely it was better than walking into the unknown by himself. He hoped his instinct about Sol was right because he genuinely seemed OK. He wondered what he was in for; he imagined he’d be wondering the same thing about everyone he was going to meet in the foreseeable future. The duty solicitor had explained to him that a remand prison was a mixed bag with a lot of traffic. Some of the sentences were much harsher than others, from petty theft to manslaughter. Some of the inmates were just waiting to be sentenced and moved on.

Gabriel grabbed his things and stepped onto the wing, crossing the threshold from his sanctuary into the fray. It was different to when he had arrived just a short while earlier. Again, he noticed the smell. The powerful odour of the cleaner had been replaced with the smell of men. The taste of sweat, both old and new, hit the back of Gabriel’s throat. He could smell that horrible tar soap he remembered his grandad using.

There were men everywhere. Booming laughter and heated discussions. Mumbled conversations, profanities and platitudes. A cacophony that reminded him of the changing rooms at secondary school, another place where he’d been at the bottom of the food chain, at least until he’d grown to well over six feet tall. He kept his head down as he followed Sol to the servery. They passed some big white men with shaven heads on the way down the narrow metal stairs onto the lower level. They walked past the ping-pong tables, Sol calling out hello to several of the players.

Then came the showers. Gabriel was horrified when he noticed that you could see inside; there were four men in there, showering completely naked and no one was batting an eye. There was a small wall that came to about hip-height on Gabriel, just to allow for a little modesty. Although forsaking his freedom was something that Gabriel had resigned himself to, he hadn’t considered the complete lack of privacy. Nothing was his anymore. He was part of this organism, part of this system that he had to adjust to. The realisations about his new life were coming thick and fast for Gabriel as he walked over to the long queue for dinner. He stood behind Sol. One thing he had also noted on his walk was the authority Sol seemed to command, or if not authority then maybe just respect. Not fear though, definitely not fear.

‘You’re in with Jason?’

‘Yeah,’ Gabriel said, still struggling to find his voice.

‘If I were you, I’d stay out of his way.’

‘Is he dangerous?’ Gabriel tried to sound calm, knowing full well that tonight he would be locked in a room with Jason for a very long time.

‘No, but he is stupid,’ Sol whispered as he nodded hello to one of the other inmates, a young man with a ginger beard and a crew cut. Gabriel watched as the man’s eyes travelled up his body. He shivered involuntarily.

‘Stupid?’

‘Never borrow and never lend. Rule one. Especially if you don’t have permission. When all you have in the world is twenty things, suddenly those twenty things take on a whole new importance. Jason took something of importance to someone. He’s going to get a kicking and you probably shouldn’t be there when it happens.’

‘Shouldn’t you tell the guards?’

‘Rule two: don’t tell the guards anything. Not many people in here get treated worse than a grass.’

‘Gotcha.’

‘If you see something happening then leave, that’s my advice,’ Sol said. ‘It’s hard but in here you have to look out for yourself. That’s what everyone else is doing.’

Gabriel stared into the cottage pie on his tray. The mashed potato was white and shiny, with beads of liquid on the surface as though it had been sweating. It was watery and soft. There was an orange tinge to the mince that looked both unnatural and unappetising. He scooped some of the mixture onto his spoon; it was mushy but also unwilling to separate as he pulled the spoon away. The mashed potato hung like mucus as he moved it towards his lips. He was so hungry, he put the food in his mouth; it was warm but not hot. He tried to imagine each mouthful as though it were something else entirely, which got more difficult as it got colder. It sank to the bottom of his stomach like sand. Without warning, Gabriel gagged and the horrible potato decided to come back out; he rushed to the bin in the corner of the servery and threw up. He heard laughter and looked up to see the men on the table opposite were watching him. One of them was the young ginger man. His eyes were burning into Gabriel. Suddenly, he wasn’t hungry anymore.

Roll call.

Gabriel walked back to his cell and stood in position outside the door. Jason was nowhere to be seen.

‘Cole!’ the prison officer said for the fourth time, this time looking up in Gabriel’s direction. Gabriel’s discomfort was magnified as three other screws walked briskly towards him. Everyone was looking. Gabriel felt the colour draining from his face. He tried to look tall, not vulnerable. He tilted his chin back and stood up straight, shoulders back. It was the kind of stance he would have used in a club as he surveyed the room, everyone trying to look more badass than anyone else.

Gabriel looked at the names of the officers. Marcus Hyde, Kyle Johnson and Steve Barratt.

‘Where’s Jason?’ Barratt asked.

‘I don’t know.’ Gabriel answered. Eighty-two words.

‘You don’t know? When was the last time you saw him?’ Hyde barked at him, just inches away from Gabriel’s face. Gabriel was taller and it felt strange having this smaller man shouting at him. He hated having to ignore it, to take the anger. It went against everything he was. He wasn’t violent, but he was proud. Although he had no reason to be proud anymore.

‘In the cell. Before dinner.’

‘We’re going to need a little more information than that,’ Hyde pushed.

‘When I woke up I went to dinner, he wasn’t there when I left or when I came back.’

‘Is that true?’ Barratt stepped in, clearly playing good cop to Hyde’s aggression.

‘I swear.’

‘Lockdown!’ Hyde shouted, his voice reverberating through the wing. The prisoners groaned and moved back into their cells. From what Gabriel could tell, this seemed like something that happened quite often.

Hyde left the room and Barratt seemed to be waiting until he was out of earshot before he spoke to Gabriel again.

‘If you had nothing to do with this I suggest you keep your nose out of it,’ Barratt whispered.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean Jason upset the wrong people and those people are not going to get caught.’

‘Why are you telling me this?’

‘Because you’re new. We see a lot of the same faces in here over and over again. I’ve never seen you before so I guess that means maybe you aren’t such a bad guy. Keep your nose clean and your time in here will go a lot faster.’