Lee Mckenzie - Daddy, Unexpectedly

“La Cucaracha” started playing on her cell phone. Double ugh. Only one incoming caller was assigned to that ring tone. Her can’t-be-ex-soon-enough husband. She’d been hearing it a lot lately, and he was really starting to bug her. She was tempted to let the call go to voice mail, but then he’d leave a long-winded message. And then he’d call back in twenty minutes to find out if she’d listened to it.

“I told you to stop calling me,” she said, forgoing the usual pleasantries when she answered.

“This is important.”

It always was. “What do you want?”

“My lawyer has drawn up the divorce papers and we’re sending them to your lawyer this afternoon for you to sign.”

Typical Donald. He assumed she would agree to the terms, just as she had agreed to everything he’d wanted while they were married. They’d bought the luxury condo he’d chosen, postponed having a family because he wasn’t ready. Getting divorced would damn well be on her terms.

“I’ll discuss them with my lawyer and see what she thinks.” She was suddenly overcome by the feeling that lunch had been two days ago instead of two hours, and a carrot stick wasn’t going to do it for her. She was craving something rich and sweet and chocolaty. A candy bar, maybe. Or a double-chocolate donut. Or a quart of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy.

No, make that all three.

“It’s a straightforward agreement,” he said. “Everything will be divided equally, and we’ll split the proceeds from the penthouse...although that can’t happen if we don’t get it on the market.”

Claire picked up one of the rice cakes and pictured a Belgian waffle heaped with fresh strawberries and a mountain of whipped cream, all liberally sprinkled with shaved chocolate. “I still have to find a place to live,” she reminded him.

“You own a real estate company, Claire. You’ve had months to find a new place. It’s not that difficult.”

It sure hadn’t been for him. He had moved out of their home and straight into his new girlfriend’s condominium. Deirdre. Claire had never met her, but she imagined the woman was a lot like Cruella de Vil, only meaner.

“My lawyer will call your lawyer,” she said.

“One more thing.”

With you, there always is. “What?” she asked. She dipped an imaginary spoon into a chocolate-bottomed crème brûlée and pretended to swirl it across her tongue. Heaven.

“We’ve come up with an equitable division of assets, and I want that book my grandmother gave you.”

Claire practically dropped the phone. We who? Donald and his lawyer? Donald and Deirdre? “Absolutely not. That was a gift to me, and that makes it mine.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he said. “It was given to you by one of my family members and I want it back.”

His mother had given her a butt-ugly red vinyl purse for her birthday last year. Did he want that, too? “It’s a children’s book,” she reminded him. “Why would you want it?” Unless...was Deirdre pregnant? After insisting he wasn’t ready to start a family with Claire, that would be the ultimate insult.

“Apparently it’s a collector’s item and it belonged...belongs...to my family.”

Of course. This had nothing to do with sentimental feelings about families or children, or even literature. Claire still had all of her favorite books from childhood and over the years she’d added to the collection. When she finally had kids of her own, they would spend many happy hours reading those books together. Donald’s grandmother had loved books, too, and had looked forward to a great-grandchild someday. Just before she died, she’d given the book to Claire and made her promise to share it with her children.

Donald probably didn’t even remember it was a first edition Beatrix Potter. With him it was only about the money. Always about the money. Well, too bad. If he thought he was getting that book, he could think again.

No, he could go straight to hell. In a handbasket.

“It’s been a busy week and I have to get back to work. My lawyer will call your lawyer after we’ve looked at the papers.”

He was still blustering when she hung up.

Her hands were shaking and her stomach felt like a deflated balloon. Screw the diet. She dumped the raw veggies and rice cakes into the trash, snagged her purse off the counter and headed for the door. She debated whether to leave her phone at home and quickly ruled it out. The only thing worse than getting another call from the cockroach was missing a call from a client.

* * *

ON THE WAY BACK TO HER building, Claire navigated around a cluster of pylons on the sidewalk. A window-washing platform was suspended a few feet above the ground and a crew of workers was loading equipment onto a truck.

“Claire? Claire DeAngelo? Is that you?”

She whirled around, clutching a paper bag filled with guilty pleasure. Who on earth...?

She looked up at the man on the platform and stopped breathing. She’d recognize that devilish grin anywhere. “Luke!”

He vaulted over the safety railing, landed lightly on his feet in front of her and swept her into an enthusiastic embrace. “I knew it had to be you. What are you doing here?”

“Just taking a break.” She waved at the main doors of her condominium complex. “I’m on my way home, and back to work. I mean, I work at home sometimes.”

He planted a kiss on her forehead. “How long has it been?”

“I’m not sure. Since college, I guess.”

“Wow. Fancy digs,” he said. “Good for you. And you look great.”

So did he. Back in college he’d had the bluest eyes she’d ever seen and a smile that had melted a lot of girls’ hearts. She could see that hadn’t changed. The rest of him had. He’d always been athletic but Adonis himself would envy this body. He still had his arms around her and the biceps alone were enough to make a woman feel light-headed. His black T-shirt was streaked with water and dust, and he smelled like hard work and testosterone. When he finally released her, she felt slightly chilled.

“Are you married? Kids?”

She shook her head, still somewhat confounded by this unexpected encounter. “Separated. Almost divorced, actually. No kids. What about you?”

She asked because she felt she had to, but she knew his answer would be negative. Luke Devlin still didn’t look like the kind of man who’d ever be caged behind a white picket fence.

“Nope. Single and free as the breeze.”

That was Luke, all right. The college friend she’d known and loved, and he could still make her laugh. They had met in first-year American History when they’d been paired up to work on a Civil War assignment. Claire had gone on to major in English literature and Luke had settled for being a major babe magnet. She had occasionally played the role of platonic place-holder, hanging out with him after one of his many breakups, letting the old girlfriend think she was the new one. She had always been surprised they fell for it because, let’s face it, serious, studious and slightly overweight Claire DeAngelo was not Luke’s type.

A number of years ago she’d run into one of his old college roommates and he’d told her that Luke had joined the Seattle Police Department. Finding out he’d become a cop had been a shocker but finding him here, working as a window washer, of all things, was a complete bombshell.

“Free as the breeze, huh? Sounds just like the old days,” she said.

“Not quite. I had a pretty serious girlfriend for a while, but it didn’t work out.” His smile faded by a few watts.

What was this? Luke Devlin with a broken heart? Not possible. “Welcome to the club.”

“Seriously? Any guy who’d dump you would have to be crazy.”

“That’s one adjective that works.”