Amy Ruttan - Pregnant With The Paramedic's Baby

She nodded and he could see the tears in her eyes. “I did, but it wasn’t meant to be. I can’t get pregnant. Trust me, we tried, and I went through a lot of procedures. He found someone else who gave him the kids I couldn’t.”

“Now I get it.”

“You get what?” she asked.

“Why you moved from San Diego and why you bought an old cattle ranch in the middle of nowhere.” He reached into his bag and dug out a couple of granola bars. He tossed her one.

“You get that?” she teased, opening her granola bar and taking a bite.

“I think so, and I see the appeal. Living in a city is not at all how I planned my life.” He leaned back against the wall. “I wanted to be an air paramedic in Alaska.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Wow, that sounds adventurous and explains the wilderness training.”

“It was going to be.” He smiled. “Of course, then my high-school girlfriend got pregnant when we were twenty-one, so we got married and both became paramedics. There wasn’t much work in North Carolina and with a baby we couldn’t pursue our dreams of Alaska right away. I took a job in Austin...” He trailed off because it was hard even now to talk about Jenny. It brought back all those memories. All their hopes and dreams that never saw fruition.

He never talked about this with anyone. Ever. Those were his hopes and dreams. Their hopes and dreams, Jenny’s and his.

He never shared Jenny with anyone but her parents, Sally, and Lucy; Jenny and their plans he kept locked away. It was easier to cope with the grief that way.

Is it?

“What happened?” Sandra asked softly.

“My wife died of cancer five years ago.” And he fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. Even after all this time, admitting it was hard.

“I’m so sorry.”

Kody nodded. “At least I have my daughter, Lucy. I have a piece of my wife still.”

“So, Alaska is on hold?”

He nodded. “My late wife’s parents followed us from North Carolina to Austin and are a huge help to me with Lucy. I could never take Lucy away from them.”

“I never knew you had a child.”

“You never asked.”

“No. I suppose I didn’t, but I haven’t made a lot of friends here in Austin,” she admitted.

“You will.”

A strange looked passed briefly over her face. “We’ll see.”

“Well, I’m your friend.”

“Are you?” she asked.

“Of course. I don’t talk about my personal life with just anyone.”

What he didn’t say was that he didn’t share any of this with anyone. He wasn’t even sure why he was telling Sandra all of this. Maybe because she’d let down her guard too and it felt good to let it all out. He’d been bottling it up for so long.

“Well, there are flying paramedics in Texas. Perhaps you can get your license?”

Kody scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s costly and you need to invest a lot of time in learning to fly. Perhaps one day. Right now, Lucy needs me.”

“You’re a good dad.” She smiled at him, her brown eyes twinkling in the flickering firelight. “I misjudged you.”

“How?” he asked.

“You were this fun-loving, charismatic guy. Men I know like that often play the field.”

He was shocked. “I’ve never been a player. There’s only been Jenny, and a handful of dates I went on about a year ago that went nowhere. That’s hardly playboy material.”

“I understand that now,” she said. “And I’m glad you’re not. Guys like that aren’t good for the heart.” She blushed. “What I mean is...”

He chuckled. “I understand. Still, it does secretly please me you thought I was charming enough to be a player.”

And it did. It made his pulse quicken in anticipation that she thought he was something of a bad boy. That she thought of him like that. That she thought about him more than just as a paramedic who annoyed her.

Sandra smiled at him; there was a dimple in her cheek and her chocolate-brown eyes lit with a sparkle he’d never seen. It made him feel warm; it shook away the remnants of the pain that were threatening to take over. The grief that he’d learned to compartmentalize in the last five years since Jenny slipped away.

“You have a beautiful smile, Sandra. Really beautiful,” he whispered.

“Thanks.”

“You should smile more.”

“Why? Because I’m only pretty when I smile?”

“No! No, you’re beautiful all the time. I’ve always thought so. I just like it when you smile at me.”

And before he knew what he was doing he reached out to touch her face. She let out a little sigh and she leaned forward, kissing him and sending an electric buzz through him that he hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

Sandra didn’t mean to kiss Kody. When he’d told her she was beautiful and touched her, she’d lost all control. Kissing him had never been in the plans.

Liar. It so was.

She’d thought about it once or twice or more since she’d met him. She’d just never thought she’d act on it.

Liar. You so did.

“I’m sorry,” she said, quickly breaking off the kiss. And she was. She didn’t know what had come over her. She was so moved by his story. So moved by the emotion he stirred in her, she couldn’t hold back. It had been so long since she’d felt this way about anyone.

She’d thought, after Alex and her failed marriage, that she would never feel that way about another man again. She was so burned out, so lonely, but then Kody had shared a piece of himself with her. She’d shared her vulnerability and he in turn had shared his own.

It meant a lot.

“Don’t be sorry,” Kody said and then he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her back. She rose to her knees and he rose to meet her. Their bodies pressed together. His kiss was tender at first, but then urgent.

And she responded in kind to that urgency.

That need that she had been trying so hard to ignore. She hoped that if they just shared this moment of release, she could move on. He’d be the first man she slept with since Alex, and Kody was the exact type of man to help her move past the pain that held her back. Still, the thought that Kody was the first since Alex scared her. Being intimate and vulnerable was overwhelming, but she wanted—needed—this moment. She wanted to move on, and she was glad that it was with Kody. She moved her hands down his back, slipping them under his shirt.

“Sandra, are you sure?” His voice was husky.

“I’m sure. I know that you can’t promise me anything and I can’t do that either, but I think we both need this.”

Kody didn’t respond vocally, but kissed her again, making her blood sing with need. His hands were in her hair and then on her back as he pressed her down against the blanket on the floor, in front of the fire.

The only sounds were crackling fire, the roaring rain and her pulse thundering in her ears as her body came alive under his touch. Sandra melted against his kisses and there was a frenzied need to be just skin to skin with him.

To have no layers between them.

Just warmth and touch.

Human contact.

A groan slipped past Kody’s lips as her hands slid inside the waistband of his jeans. She undid the button and the fly and then he pulled off her sweater. It was a joint effort. No words were needed. They both knew what they wanted.

The only sounds between them were their hungry kisses.

She knew what she wanted in this moment.

And that was Kody.

She wanted to feel every inch of him. Feel him buried deep inside her. His kisses left her lips, burning a path of flames down her neck, over her collarbone to her breasts. She arched her back. She was ready, so ready for this to happen. So ready for him to claim her and that it was Kody for this first time since Alex. Since her heart was broken.