Diana Palmer - Lawless

His eyes met hers again. His hands were almost bruising on her upper arms as he held her there. “That’s how easy it is,” he said tersely.

“How...easy?” she parroted breathlessly.

“For an experienced man to knock you off balance and make you give in to him,” he continued. “Grier knows even more than I do. Don’t let him get too close. He’s not a marrying man. In any case, you’re not free to experiment, paper marriage or not.”

She wasn’t getting any of it. She just looked at him, completely disoriented. She’d never dreamed that he’d kiss her like that. He’d sworn in the past that he was never going to touch her. She felt hot and shaky all over. She wanted to lie down with him. She wanted to touch his skin. She wanted him to kiss her breasts, the way men kissed women in those shameful late-night satellite movies that she watched secretly when Maude had gone to bed on the weekends.

“Are you listening to me?” he asked impatiently.

Her head fell back against his shoulder. She pressed one cold hand to his chest and moved it back and forth involuntarily.

“I’m listening. This dress is really hot. Could you help me take it off...?” she whispered wickedly.

He glared down at her. “Stop that,” he said curtly. “I’m trying to talk to you.”

Her eyes were half-closed, her body completely yielding. She felt as if she’d melted into him, become part of him. She wondered what it would feel like to lie under him on a bed. She reddened at the images that had flashed unexpectedly into her mind. Judd, in bed with her, stark naked and hungry for her. Heavens, she’d have died for it!

Her hunger for him was in her face. It amazed him that she was so immediately receptive to him, so hungry. He hadn’t meant to touch her in the first place. It was Grier, damn him. He was uneasy about having her go out with Grier. He didn’t trust the man. It disturbed him that this sudden relationship of hers had happened under his nose and without his knowledge. In his wildest dreams, he’d never expected that Grier could be drawn to a woman Christabel’s age. He didn’t trust Grier’s motives, and he didn’t want Christabel seduced. He was going to have to talk to Grier.

He watched her while his mind worked. She was still shivering faintly. He knew how she felt. He felt the same way. His body ached. He’d never expected such an explosive passion to flare up between them. He should never have touched her. He’d been stupid to let jealousy provoke him into it. He hoped she didn’t know enough to see how susceptible he was to her. He moved back a step, just in case.

She took a step forward. “I can rush right to town and buy a red negligee,” she said breathlessly. “I’ll borrow one. Steal one. There’s a bed only ten feet away...!”

“I told you that we were never going to have any sort of physical relationship,” he said with ice dripping from every syllable.

“You started it,” she reminded him glibly.

“I did it deliberately. I know Grier. You haven’t dated,” he said through his teeth. “You know nothing about men, and that’s my fault. You can’t go out with a man like Grier without knowing the dangers. It was a lesson, Christabel. Just a lesson!”

She was staring at him. Just staring, as all her dreams of belonging and being loved in return went up in smoke. She’d always thought of Judd as being very fastidious about women. But innocence could recognize experience, and she knew at once that she was completely out of his league. She didn’t do a thing for him. He’d only been showing her what a trap passion could be. But it felt different now when she looked at him.

“Have you heard a word I’ve said?” he asked, exasperated.

“A few, here and there,” she said, but she was looking at his mouth. “I’m not sure I understand the lesson completely. Could you do that again...?”

He took an angry breath and his lips flattened. He could taste her on them. That irritated him even more.

“No, I couldn’t do it again!” he raged, furious. “Listen to me, damn it! We are getting an annulment in November, period! I don’t want marriage and a family. I love my job, and my freedom, and I’m not giving up either one. Is that clear?”

Breaking out of her trance, she moved away from him. Yes, it was painfully clear. But she smiled deliberately, anyway. Her voice, like her breathing, was jerky. “Okay. It’s a great loss to my education, but if you feel that way, just don’t expect me to offer to take my clothes off for you ever again. I’ll fix some coffee if you’d like some,” she added. “Cash isn’t due for thirty minutes.”

“Fine.”

She went to the kitchen and made coffee. It calmed her. By the time she put a cup and saucer on the table, along with the condiments, her hands had stopped shaking.

“Do you want it in the study?” she called.

“No. I’ll drink it in here.” He moved into the room and sat down at the small kitchen table. He’d removed his hat and rolled up his sleeves. His hair was still mussed from her restless, hungry fingers, and his mouth, like hers, had a slight swell from the urgency of the kisses they’d shared.

Grier was going to notice that, he mused. Perhaps it would make him hesitate. He wondered why he felt so arrogant when he looked at her now. It felt almost like possession. He clamped down hard on those thoughts. He didn’t want to be married. He wasn’t ready for family life. Infrequent liaisons were enough for him. Love was dangerous, and he wanted no part of it. He’d seen it destroy his father, and he knew that women had no staying power. His mother had left his father. Judd’s one serious love interest had walked out on him ten years ago when he refused to give up his hazardous job for her. It was just as well to avoid tangles. Christabel was very young...

“You’re very solemn,” she pointed out.

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about what just happened,” he said, pinning her with his eyes.

“I’m not dim,” she told him. She avoided looking directly at him. She was too shaken to hide her emotions. “You said it was only a lesson. I hadn’t planned to jump into the back seat with Grier and have my way with him, you know.”

He cleared his throat. “He drives a pickup. There is no back seat.”

She glared at him. “You know what I mean!”

“And it’s not you jumping on him that worries me.”

She lifted both eyebrows. “Why not? Do you think I wouldn’t know how? I do know what goes on between men and women, even if I’m not the voice of experience!”

“I know,” he murmured dryly.

“Excuse me?”

He cleared his throat again. “I pay the satellite bill.”

She was very still. That had never occurred to her before.

He cocked his head. “The titles are self-explanatory. Passionate Partners, Lust in the Sand, The Curious Virgin...shall I go on?”

She groaned and put her face in her hands.

“Just remember that what you’re watching is staged and pure fantasy,” he pointed out. “It’s not like that in real life.”

She moved two of her fingers and looked at him through them, curiously.

He leaned back, feeling his experience keenly as he met that glance. “Two kisses and a pat, and they go at it endlessly with accompanying groans and tormented expressions, in positions that even the Kama Sutra hasn’t listed,” he explained.

She was still watching, listening, waiting.

He let out a long sigh. “Christabel, a woman doesn’t accept a man’s body that quickly, or that easily, without a lot of foreplay. And most men can’t last long enough to go through the whole catalog of outrageous positions. One usually suffices.”

She was fiery red, but paying complete attention while trying not to look as if she was. And he was aching to show her, rather than tell her, how satisfying a physical coming-together could be. All at once, he felt things he didn’t want to feel. And for the one woman on earth who was off limits to him, even if she was the only wife he’d ever had.