Jennifer Taylor - Gina's Little Secret

He shrugged, aware that it wasn’t usual for him to admit to any feelings of weakness. Normally he preferred to keep his emotions under wraps but he needed to draw her out, if he could. ‘I cannot begin to explain how terrifying it is not to be able to recall what has happened in your life. Even though I now remember quite a lot, there are many questions that still need answering.’

‘What sort of questions?’ she asked, and he frowned when he heard the tremor in her voice. It was obvious that she was under a great deal of strain and he hated to think that he was adding to the pressure on her, but he needed to find out all he could about this situation.

‘I don’t know!’ he declared in sudden frustration. ‘When you forget so much about your life, everything becomes a question. What do I enjoy doing when I’m not working, for instance? Where did I go for my last holiday? I can’t answer either of those things!’ He ran his hands through his hair, wishing he could physically force the memories to surface, and winced when his fingers encountered the tender spot above his ear.

‘Sit down.’ Gina was around the desk in a trice. She steered him towards a chair then went to the filing cabinet and switched on the kettle sitting on the top. ‘I’ll make you a cup of coffee. It’s only instant, I’m afraid. Sorry. I know you dislike it but it’s all we have.’

‘That is exactly what I mean.’ Marco sighed when she glanced round. ‘I didn’t know that I dislike instant coffee because I didn’t remember.’

The ghost of a smile touched her mouth. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything then you wouldn’t have been disappointed.’

Marco laughed. ‘Ignorance is bliss—isn’t that a saying you have in this country?’

‘Yes, it is.’ Her smile faded abruptly as she picked up the jar of coffee. ‘Sometimes it’s better to live in ignorance.’

Marco had no idea what to say to that. He knew instinctively that she wasn’t referring to his loss of memory and it puzzled him. What did she know that she didn’t want anyone to find out?

His breath caught as he watched her pour boiling water into the mugs because he realised that he needed to amend that question. What did Gina know that she didn’t want him finding out?

Gina placed the cups on the desk and sat down. She could feel herself trembling and took a deep breath. At some point during the past few minutes she had reached a decision. She wasn’t going to tell Marco about Lily. Maybe she would regret it later but she would worry about it then. Right now, it seemed more important that she keep her daughter’s existence a secret from him.

At the moment Lily was a happy and well-adjusted little girl. Gina had taken great care to ensure that the child enjoyed a stable home life. One of the reasons why she had ruled out having another relationship was because of the effect it could have on Lily. She had seen it happen to friends’ children. New partners arrived on the scene and the family’s dynamics had to alter accordingly. She didn’t want that for Lily, didn’t want her daughter to grow up surrounded by people who came and went in her life. She wanted Lily to have security.

If she told Marco about Lily, there was no knowing what he would do. Maybe he would be indifferent to the fact that he had a daughter but, more worryingly, he might want to play a role in the child’s life, at least for a while. She couldn’t bear to think that Lily might grow attached to him only to be let down at some point in the future. As she knew to her cost Marco could very easily change his mind.

Thoughts rushed through her head until she felt dizzy. She took a sip of her coffee, hoping it would steady her. If she was to stop Marco learning about Lily’s existence then she would need to be extremely careful about what she said.

‘How did we meet?’

She looked up when he spoke, feeling her heart jerk when she saw the way he was watching her so intently. He had always been very astute and she mustn’t make the mistake of underestimating him. Although she hated to talk about the past, she knew it would be better to tell him the truth—as far as she could.

‘I flew over to Florence to collect a patient you’d been treating,’ she answered, pleased to hear that her voice held no trace of the nervousness she felt.

‘I see.’ He frowned. ‘Obviously, you weren’t working here at the time.’

‘I worked for a company that repatriates clients to the UK when they’re taken ill abroad.’ She shrugged. ‘The gentleman I was due to collect had suffered a stroke. It was supposed to be quite straightforward. I’d collect him from the hospital and accompany him back to England. Unfortunately, he suffered a second stroke shortly before I arrived and you decided that he wasn’t fit to fly.’

‘So what happened then? Did you return to England?’

Gina heard the curiosity in his voice and realised there was no point prevaricating. ‘No. The patient’s family asked if I would stay while he was in hospital. He was on his own and they felt it would help if he had someone with him.’ She shrugged. ‘The family offered to pay my salary and the firm I worked for agreed to let me take some leave, so I said yes.’

‘For how long?’ Marco demanded.

‘Six weeks.’

His brows rose. ‘That seems an excessive amount of time to me. Surely your patient was fit to travel before then?’

This was the difficult bit, the part she didn’t want to explain. ‘Sadly, the patient died a week later.’

‘But you didn’t go home?’

She shook her head.

‘Why not?’

‘I’d never visited Florence before and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to see something of the city and surrounding area.’

‘So you stayed to do some sightseeing?’ His tone was flat and she couldn’t blame it for the shiver that passed through her. It took every scrap of composure she could muster to answer.

‘Yes.’ She stood up, making a great show of checking her watch. ‘I’m sorry but I really do need to get on.’

‘Of course.’ He stood up as well, looking so big and male as he towered over that her heart beat all the harder. ‘Will you just answer me one final question, Gina?’

‘If I can.’

‘Did you also stay on in Florence because of me?’

Gina bit her lip. She could lie, of course, but she knew him well enough to guess that he would see through it. Tipping back her head, she looked him in the eyes. ‘Yes, I did. Now, if that’s all …’

She walked around the desk, steeling herself as she passed him. How she ached to touch him, to lay her hand on his arm and tell him the rest, that she had stayed because she had fallen in love with him, had thought he had loved her too, but what was the point? No doubt Marco would remember it all in time, remember those few glorious weeks they’d had before he had realised that he had no longer wanted her, although his memory of what had happened must be very different from hers. Tears pricked her eyes and she turned away. She refused to let him see her cry, refused to let him take away her dignity as well as everything else!

‘I am sorry, Gina, so very sorry that I can’t remember.’

The regret in his voice was almost too much. Somehow she made it out of the door but it was hard to hold onto her composure. When Julie came back from her break, she told her she was going to the canteen and hurriedly departed. And as the lift swept her up to the top floor, the tears that she had held at bay trickled down her cheeks.

She had loved Marco so much! Loved him with her heart, her soul and every scrap of her being, but it hadn’t been enough. Not for him. He had taken her love and tossed it back in her face and there was no way that she would risk that happening again.