Alison Roberts - Her Baby Out of the Blue

Ice Queen sprang to mind.

Except it didn’t quite fit.

Dylan had met his sister-in-law some time ago now. Last Christmas, when the couple had arrived back in Scotland. Izzy had been a delight. So vibrant. So full of life and laughter, and she had talked about Jane all the time. Her very best friend that she missed terribly. The person who was going to be so excited when— if the miracle really happened.

The miracle had happened.

But right now Dylan found he couldn’t imagine Jane Walters getting excited about anything. Pleased, perhaps. Satisfied, certainly. The notion that excitement could dent the aura of control—power, even—that emanated from this slim figure he was following was quite bizarre.

She was important here, that was obvious. She might be oblivious to the quick glances and smiles that advertised respect but Dylan wasn’t. He knew the kind of hierarchy that existed in hospitals only too well and he knew he was walking with royalty.

And if he hadn’t picked it up on the journey, he couldn’t have missed the information from the office he was ushered into. By the standards of most hospitals, it was palatial. With a view to the beautiful city park that bordered the hospital grounds. A glimpse of the river even.

There was a wall completely covered with framed diplomas and postgraduate degrees and floor-to-ceiling shelving with meticulously filed stacks of medical journals and a wealth of reference books. The blotter on the surface of the large desk was unsullied by any doodling and the chair was tidily pushed in. Jane didn’t go to that side of her desk, however. She stopped beside one of the two comfortable armchairs that flanked a coffee table.

‘Have a seat,’ she directed. ‘Um…does the baby need anything?’

‘Her name’s Sophie.’ Dylan’s smile felt forced. God, he was tired. ‘And no, she’s fine for the moment. I fed and changed her while we were waiting in Emergency.’

‘Right.’ Jane sat on the edge of the other chair, which made her look uncomfortable. Her hands were curled into loose fists and the skin around her nose and mouth was pale enough to be of concern.

She looked terrible, Dylan decided. He was studying her face as she raised her gaze and then he couldn’t look away. She had an unusual eye colour. Green? Brown? He couldn’t tell because the pupils were large. She looked…grief-stricken.

‘What happened?’ A tiny catch in her voice added to his impression. ‘Was it a complication of childbirth?’

‘No. That all went perfectly. They were taking Sophie home from the hospital a few days after the birth and there was an accident on the M1. Izzy was killed instantly. Josh…broke his neck. He survived in the spinal unit for three weeks but died of respiratory complications.’ Dylan had to pause for a moment. ‘Actually,’ he added softly, ‘I think he died of a broken heart.’

‘And the…? And Sophie? She was in the car?’

‘She was in her new state-of-the-art car seat.’ Dylan tilted his head to where he’d left the items he had carried with him on the floor beside his chair. ‘She’s fine.’ He looked down at the tiny face he could see in the folds of soft blanket. His arms tightened a little and something huge squeezed his heart. ‘Better than fine,’ he added. ‘She’s perfect.’

Jane wasn’t looking at Sophie. She was staring at her hands, now tightly clasped in her lap.

‘I knew something was wrong. Izzy had been hinting at a surprise and, at first, I thought they were planning a visit back to Christchurch. I’ve been half expecting to open my door and find them there, laughing at me. It’s never been this long without an email or phone call. I’ve rung so many times.’

‘I got the message you left last week.’

‘Why didn’t you contact me, then? Why didn’t someone call me as soon as it had happened?’ There was anger in her voice now. ‘Josh knew how close Izzy and I were. He must have known I’d want to be there for…for her funeral. I was the only real family Izzy had.’

‘Izzy was a McKenzie,’ Dylan said steadily. ‘My sister-in-law. My brother’s wife. My father’s daughter-in-law. The only daughter he ever had. We were her family. And we all loved her.’

Eyebrows a shade or two darker than the rich golden brown of Jane’s hair were lowered into a scowl. She didn’t like that.

‘Josh was too ill that first week,’ Dylan continued. ‘On a ventilator in the intensive care unit. My father was distraught. I had to make all the arrangements. All the decisions.’

‘You had no right to exclude me.’

‘I’m sorry.’And he was. He hadn’t bargained on this. The grief he could feel. Jane had been just a name. An entity a world away from the tragedy he’d been dealing with. He hated that he was causing her so much pain. ‘There was someone else who had to take priority in all the decisions I made.’ He glanced down again and his voice softened. ‘This wee lassie.’

Dylan looked up and waited until Jane met his gaze. ‘Your daughter,’ he added.

‘No!’ Jane shot up as though her chair had scorched her. ‘You’ve made a mistake. There’s no way this child is mine.’

Dylan had to look up a lot further this time but he remained sitting. He had to try and stay calm. This was a shock for her, he reminded himself. She needed time. She needed to see Sophie. Really look at her. Touch her. And then she would feel the way he did. That nothing mattered except for what was going to be best for this precious baby.

Was she distracting herself from grief for her friend by launching herself into denial? She was certainly focused. Controlled. Attributes she needed, no doubt, in order to perform her job. He needed to be controlled himself. Stick to the facts if he could and not let emotion take over.

‘My understanding is that you donated the eggs that Josh and Izzy used for their IVF treatments.’

Jane’s breath came out in an exasperated huff. ‘Yes…but that was more than two years ago. The treatments failed. Both of them. Izzy was too upset to think about doing it again. That’s why they decided to go back to Scotland. To start a new life.’ Jane had turned and was pacing towards the bookshelves. She whirled back to face Dylan. ‘I was there. We were all upset that it hadn’t worked but I didn’t offer to provide any more eggs and Izzy didn’t ask.’

‘There was a final embryo. When they were tying up loose ends before they left the country, they contacted the fertility clinic and were told about it and asked to make a decision about whether to keep it or not. I don’t know why it had been kept and not used in the earlier attempts. Josh said something about its viability being in question.’

‘There were only four viable embryos. Two got implanted with each attempt. Both attempts failed. That was the end of it.’

Dylan nodded. He could understand why Jane was so adamant. ‘That’s what they thought as well but apparently there was the extra one. The odds of the implantation being successful were minimal but they decided to use it so they wouldn’t be left wondering.’

‘No.’ Jane shook her head decisively. ‘Izzy would have told me.’

‘She didn’t think it would work. She didn’t want to raise anyone’s hopes, especially her own. She thought if she and Josh were the only people to know, it would be easier to deal with another failure. She had the implantation procedure and that was it as far as they were concerned. They’d tried their best and it was time to put it all behind them and start a new life.’

A flash of pain appeared to mix with the anger and sheer disbelief on Jane’s face. Was she feeling shut out? Distressed that her best friend could have kept such a secret from her?