Alice Oseman - Loveless

First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2020

Published in this ebook edition in 2020

HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd,

HarperCollins Publishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

The HarperCollins Children’s Books website address is

www.harpercollins.co.uk

Text copyright © Alice Oseman 2020

Cover design © HarperCollins Publishers 2020

Alice Oseman asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook onscreen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780008244125

Ebook Edition © May 2018 ISBN: 9780008244132

Version: 2020-06-26

If it proves so, then loving goes by haps:

Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.

Much Ado About Nothing , William Shakespeare

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Children’s Books in 2020 Published in this ebook edition in 2020 HarperCollins Children’s Books is a division of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd, HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF The HarperCollins Children’s Books website address is www.harpercollins.co.uk Text copyright © Alice Oseman 2020 Cover design © HarperCollins Publishers 2020 Alice Oseman asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this ebook onscreen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins. Source ISBN: 9780008244125 Ebook Edition © May 2018 ISBN: 9780008244132 Version: 2020-06-26

Epigraph If it proves so, then loving goes by haps: Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps. Much Ado About Nothing , William Shakespeare

Part One

Last Chance

Romance

Pip, Jason and Me

Truth or Dare

Tommy

Kissing

On Fire

Loveless

Part Two

Change

Rooney

A New Friendship

Romantic Thinking

Sex

College Marriage

Baby’s First Club

High Standards

Pride

Putting Yourself Out There

Shakespeare and House Plants

Chaotic Energy

Forever Alone

Immature

We Sure Do Love Drama

Dating Skills

Straight Out of a Romance Novel

The Spark

A Short but Compelling Presentation by Rooney Bach

Palm to Palm

Elephant in the Room

The Letter ‘X’

Mr Self-Confidence

Sunil

Could have Gone Harder with the Pride Flags

Pip

Mirage

Part Three

I Love None

Wank Fantasy

Countdown Timer Music

Brainwashed

Fantasy Future

Mirror World

But if She Cannot Love You

Two Roommates

The Bailey Ball

Capulet vs Montague

Defeated

Paper Flowers

Survivor

Part Four

Very Opposite People

Aromantic Asexual

True Love

Home

Ellis

Platonic Magic

Memories

Love Ruins Everything

You Deserve Joy

Jason

Sorry

Beth

Emergency Meeting

The Night Before

Your Song

The Opposite of Curious

Mess

We Kept the Beds Together

Horny and Confused

I Will Find Her

Grand Gesture

Part Five

It’s Been Fun

Good Night

The House

Further Resources on Asexuality and Aromanticism

Acknowledgements

Keep Reading …

Books by Alice Oseman

About the Publisher

There were literally three separate couples sitting around the fire making out, like some sort of organised kissing orgy, and half of me was like, ew , and the other half was like, Wow, I sure do wish that was me .

To be fair, it’s probably what I should have expected from our prom afterparty. I don’t go to parties very often. I hadn’t been aware this actually was the culture.

I retreated from the firepit and headed back towards Hattie Jorgensen’s giant country house, holding up my prom dress in one hand so I didn’t trip, and dropped Pip a message.

Georgia Warr

i could not approach the fire and retrieve the marshmallows because there were people kissing around it

Felipa Quintana

How could you betray and disappoint me like this Georgia

Georgia Warr

do you still love me or is this the end

When I entered the kitchen and located Pip, she was leaning against a corner cupboard with a plastic cup full of wine in one hand and her phone in the other. Her tie was half tucked into her shirt pocket, her burgundy velvet blazer was now unbuttoned and her short curls were fluffy and loose, no doubt due to all the dancing at prom.

‘You OK?’ I asked.

‘Might be a tad drunk,’ she said, her tortoiseshell glasses slipping down her nose. ‘And also I do fucking love you.’

‘More than marshmallows?’

‘How could you ask me to make such a choice?’

I slung my arm round her shoulders and we leant back together against the kitchen cupboards. It was almost midnight, music was thumping from Hattie’s living room, and the sound of our classmates chatting and laughing and shouting and screaming resonated from every corner of the building.

‘There were three separate couples making out around the fire,’ I said. ‘Like, in unison.’

‘Kinky,’ said Pip.

‘I sort of wished I was one of them.’

She gave me a look. ‘ Ew .’

‘I just want to kiss someone,’ I said, which was odd, because I wasn’t even drunk. I was driving Pip and Jason home later.

‘We can make out if you want.’

‘That wasn’t what I had in mind.’

‘Well, Jason’s been single for a few months now. I’m sure he’d be up for it.’

‘Shut up. I’m serious.’

I was serious. I really, really wanted to kiss someone. I wanted to feel a little bit of prom-night magic.

‘Tommy, then,’ said Pip, raising an eyebrow and smiling evilly. ‘Maybe it’s time to confess .’