Gina Calanni - How To Bake The Perfect Apple Pie

I open my refrigerator. As I suspected it’s empty. I got in late yesterday from my flight back from Texas, so I haven’t had an opportunity to buy groceries. The pantry only offers one solution. Popcorn. Might as well. I get out my pan and place it on my gas stove. I drizzle vegetable oil in the bottom of the pan to cover it in a nice thin layer and then cover the oil with the kernels. I blast the heat on high. I think I’ve got enough to time to change into my comfy clothes. I stride to my bedroom and take off my three-inch red heels. I place them on my shoe rack. With my first paycheck for this position I’m planning on buying celebratory shoes to mark my success. I haven’t figured out which ones yet, but the centrifugal force of Stuart Weitzman always pulls me in as I pass by the store at the mall.

My skirt drops to the floor and I toss it on my bed along with my white blouse. I dash to my maple dresser and pull open my comfy clothes drawer. Nothing like a pair of slimming black yoga pants and purple hoodie to make me all cozy inside. And sheesh, thank goodness I had a salad for lunch today. My skirt was not exactly providing a ton of breathable room. Maybe I did overindulge a bit over the holidays.

I made Jack a red velvet cake as part of his Christmas gift. It was the dessert his mother had always made before his parents died. We had it after Christmas dinner with my family and almost everyone was full from the dinner and begged for small slices. Jack took the rest of it home with him and the next day…we got a little creative with the leftovers, especially the cream cheese frosting. My mouth waters. I remember licking some of it off of Jack. Mmmm…I rush back to the kitchen.

With this new position if I do have these late hours, when would I find time to make it to the gym? And the stress. The stress of the job and planning a wedding? My cortisol levels are going to be shooting through the roof. I’ve got to figure out a plan. I might have to add squats or jogging in place into my routine. I squat down ten times in a row. Who am I kidding? I’m exhausted. Doing squats is the last thing I want to do right now.

The white kernels are popping open the lid. I grab my silver popcorn bowl from the bottom cupboard and pour the luscious fluffy snack into it. I swipe my salt off the counter and sprinkle the popcorn. I glance at the clock on my stove. It’s now almost eight o’clock.

I mosey into the living room and place the popcorn on my mahogany coffee table. Megan gave me How to Win Friends and Influence People as a Christmas gift and oddly enough Aurora, my brother Luke’s wife, also gave me a book, A Guide to Medicinal Herbs . I’m not sure why she gave this to me. I haven’t been sick. I pick up the TV remote. I’ve got a nice flat screen. I’m imagining Jack and I sitting here on my couch watching romantic comedies snuggled under a blanket. Will this vision ever come true? My stomach tightens. He visited me in December, but it was only for a weekend and watching movies was not on our schedule. We did sit here on my couch. And we kissed. I sigh.

I flip through the channels. Unfortunately, The Originals is still on winter break. But, oh my gosh, Downton Abbey comes back next week! I’m so excited, I can’t wait to hear what funny lines the grandmother says this season. Nothing is on and I want to get wrapped up in a show without thinking. I click on my DVR. I’d saved a bunch of Christmas movies even though I knew I wouldn’t be here to watch them.

I click on Love Actually . I own this movie but why get up and operate the DVD player when I can simply click play? I toss some popcorn in my mouth. Yes, I nailed it as usual. I might not be the best cook or baker, but popcorn maker extraordinaire I am indeed. I laugh.

I take a sip of my wine, careful not to spill it. My phone flashes next to me. It’s a text from Jack.

“Still at work?”

I tap on his contact and the phone rings once before he picks up.

“Hey there, are you home?” Jack asks.

A rush of warmth flows over my body. “Yes, sorry, I got home after seven, then my mom called.”

“How was your first day as the new manager?”

“Good…well actually it was okay.” My shoulders slouch and I sip my wine.

“Did something happen? You sound different.”

“No, nothing really happened, it’s just I thought I would be choosing my team, but then Javier invited Elaine to lunch with us and she kind of took over selecting the applicants.”

“Huh. That doesn’t seem right. Why would Javier allow that to happen?” Jack tsks.

I purse my lips to the side. “I…don’t know. It kind of came out of nowhere.” I take another sip of my wine. “Elaine has a really…strong personality… I guess Javier values that?”

“Maybe. But Lauren, you have to stand up for yourself…especially in the beginning. If you let her walk all over you now, then that’s where you will remain…on her doorstep.”

I slump my shoulders. Seriously? Is Jack siding with Elaine? I blink.

“Jack…I’m not letting her walk all over me, but there is a certain protocol to these things. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, especially not in my first days as being a manager.” I shake my head. I know I’m right. “I don’t want to seem like the squeaky wheel on the team. Javier has given me a huge promotion and I want to go with the flow of things and be agreeable, not cause issues.”

“Lauren, that’s where you are a hundred percent wrong.”

My eyes bulge out.

“The beginning is where you line things up and make sure you have all of your needs taken care of. Why are you even considering letting someone else decide your team for you? These are people that you will have to work with. You have to determine if they will be the right match for your team. You’re not interviewing Elaine’s team. This is Lauren’s team. Make sure your best interests take priority.”

I twist my lips. Shiat . I shake my head. Jack is probably freaking right. I’m such a fool to let Elaine step in on figuring out my team.

“I never thought about it that way… Jack…what if you’re right? What if she had an ulterior motive and I fell for it?” I bite my lip.

“Hey, don’t get paranoid and think the worst. Just think smarter. Remember, Javier chose you for the promotion because he saw something in you. You lead the way and forget about Elaine.”

“I wish you were here with me right now.” My eyes get a little blurry.

“Damn, Lauren, there is nothing I want more than to be with you right now.” Jack sighs. “I’ve got to get things situated here and then we can make some big decisions.”

“What do you mean?” I scrunch my eyebrows together.

“Lauren, when I asked you to marry me, it wasn’t so we could be in a committed long-distance relationship. I asked you to marry me because I want to be with you night and day. And this…though it’s only been a day is not cutting it. My flight gets in at six on Friday…and there is not a minute that I’m not counting down until that point.”

I laugh. “I feel the same way…but what are we going to do?”

“Hold on to that thought until Friday at six p.m. and I’ll come up with some solutions. It’s late; you need to get your rest.”

I sigh. “Okay…I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Lauren. I’ll see you in your dreams. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

I press end. I didn’t say good on purpose. I miss him so much. I have never experienced anything like this before. This heart-aching sadness from being apart and the reverse of being head over heels pangs in my heart with every thought of him that crosses my mind. I hope he makes good on his promise and offers an actual solution to our long-distance relationship. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out on this.