Pamela Toth - Secrets and Seductions

“It’s just that when I talked to my mother—” Emma shook her head and corrected herself “—my adoptive mother, it became obvious that I didn’t inherit it from her.”

Emma swallowed hard as she recalled her feeling of relief that Sally Wright hadn’t had to suffer even the minor discomfort associated with the condition. Her reluctance to discuss it and her uncharacteristic nervousness hadn’t raised Emma’s suspicions until later, when she went back over everything she could remember about their conversation.

“I assumed then that I must have gotten the problem from the paternal side of the family,” she continued, “but I was wrong.”

“You discussed it with your adoptive father?” he asked.

“With my grandmother the next time I visited her. It was obvious from what she said that she never experienced any of the symptoms.”

Emma swallowed the bitter taste of regret. “Sometimes I wish that I had let the subject drop, but I can’t go back, can I?” she asked the man seated across from her.

“If that were possible, I’m sure there are things in all our lives that we would change.”

Was that sadness she heard in his deep voice, or merely empathy? With his looks and his position of authority here, plus whatever else he had going, did he still have regrets?

“What did you do after that?” he prompted her gently.

“I did some research on the Web,” she admitted grimly, “and then I hotfooted it back to the Wrights’ house with a couple of real burning questions.”

“The Internet may not be the best place to get medical information,” he reminded her. “There can be many different ways to interpret whatever you might find there.”

“Oh, I know.” Emma had been bluffing when she brought the subject up again. “I tried not to jump to any conclusions, but there was a look that passed between my parents—”

This time she didn’t bother to correct herself as she bowed her head. The habit of more than a quarter of a century wasn’t going to be changed in a matter of weeks, no matter the sense of betrayal burning in her heart.

“Anyway,” she continued, blinking hard, “a red flag went up and I just knew.” She looked back at him. “At first they denied everything, but I kept pushing. Finally the whole sordid story came out.”

Since he’d read Emma’s file, he knew more about her right now than she did. “Are you sure that it’s sordid?” he asked.

“That’s what I’m here to find out.”

His expression changed, becoming more wary. “What do you mean?” He touched the knot of his tie, as though it had suddenly gotten too tight. The flash of gold she had noticed on his hand earlier looked like a college ring.

Emma rolled her eyes. “After the big confession, they actually expected me to accept their apology, let the subject drop, to go on as though nothing was any different.” She waved her hand in a gesture of dismissal. “But of course I can’t do that.”

It had been painfully clear to her that her adoptive parents had never intended to tell her the truth at all. Thank God the subject was no longer shrouded in secrecy.

“So that’s why I’ve come to you.” Emma gave him what she hoped to be a beguiling smile. “I’m here to find out about my real parents.”

When he remained silent, a sudden feeling of panic gripped her and she couldn’t resist glancing over at that open folder on his desk. What if it was incomplete? What if part of her file had been somehow lost, or destroyed in a fire or a flood?

“You do know who they are, don’t you, the people who gave me up?” she demanded, her heart thudding in her chest.

“Whenever possible, we do like to have the records of both parents.” The frown was back, causing a crease between his brows. If he kept it up, he’d be looking at Botox injections someday. “If you need another copy of your medical history, we’ll be happy to provide one. My assistant can give you a form to fill out.”

Suddenly breathless with anticipation, Emma pressed her palm to her heart. “I guess I didn’t really take the time to make myself clear,” she said. “It’s not just the medical information that I’m after, it’s everything.”

His expression shifted, his frown lines deepening, and he seemed to lean away from her in his chair. “What exactly do you mean by everything?”

Emma balled her hands together in her lap. She wasn’t going to give up now. “I need to know the names of my biological parents so I can find out if they’re still alive.” Her voice rose. “I might have siblings out there, family I never knew existed.”

Contacting them would be a huge first step in taking back control of her life.

He had already started to shake his head before she finished speaking. “I’m sorry, but what you’re asking is impossible. This agency can’t help you.”

Emma’s mouth fell open as she stared at him, stunned into momentary silence.

“What do you mean?” she finally croaked as his refusal sank into her consciousness. “You just admitted that you have their names.”

He spread his hands, palms up, in a helpless gesture. “That’s true,” he agreed, “but your file is confidential.”

“Okay, I understand.” Quickly Emma unzipped her purse. “I’ve got picture ID.”

Before she could open her wallet, he surprised her again, this time by resting his hand lightly on hers. His touch was warm, but something about his gesture made her shiver as an icy chill slid down her spine.

“I’m so sorry,” he said again as he let her go. “It’s not just your confidentiality that our agency is sworn to protect.”

His gaze held hers. “This was not an open adoption, so the only thing I’m allowed to share with you is your medical history.”

Emma stared at him blankly. “But they’re my parents. They’d want me to know who they are!”

Intellectually she knew that wasn’t always true, but her emotions wouldn’t let her believe it could apply to her. She wasn’t going to be stonewalled! Panic shot through her. If she lunged across his desk and grabbed the folder, would she be able to read its contents before he got it away from her?

“Emma,” he said quietly, startling her with his use of her first name, “I’ve read your entire file very carefully. There were no provisions made to give you contact information if you were ever to ask. Quite the contrary, there is a statement insisting on absolute privacy. I’m sorry.”

She wasn’t willing to give up, but she could tell by the set of his jaw that threats or pressure wouldn’t change his mind. He appeared to be giving her time to absorb her disappointment.

“I see,” she said, trying to sound reasonable.

“Are you all right?” he asked. “Would you like some water?”

“Yes, please.” Think, she commanded herself while he went over to a sideboard and poured a glass for her. Frantically trying to come up with something to change his mind, she stared with fascination at the large blown-glass vase sitting proudly on a side table.

Talk about ugly!

When he came back and handed her the water, she took an obligatory sip before setting it down. “Thank you.”

He was watching her closely, as though he expected her to do something crazy. Was there a secret alarm that he’d activated, calling for security? Somehow she doubted it. With his height and athletic build, he appeared more than capable of handling whatever she could dish out.

“Is there anything else I can do?” he asked when the silence began to lengthen between them.

Anything else?

“Surely there’s another channel I can explore,” she said. “Some person I can talk to, an appeal process, something, in order to find out what I need?”