Carolyne Aarsen - Daddy Lessons

She shot a quick glance down at the girl, surprised to see her eyes closed. Dan seemed to have noticed too. He reached over to take her from Hailey, but even in her sleep, Natasha clung to Hailey, shifted, then laid her head on Hailey’s lap.

Hailey looked down at the little girl’s face, so relaxed and innocent in sleep. Her heart faltered and she couldn’t stop her hand from lightly brushing the child’s hair back from her face, then letting her hand rest on Natasha’s shoulder. She looked over at Dan at the same time he looked at her, and in his eyes she caught a fleeting glimpse of sadness. It’s not my fault, she wanted to say, as she did not understand the strange attachment the young girl seemed to have to her.

Dan held her gaze a moment, then looked down at Natasha. He reached over and put his hand on her arm, as if laying his own claim to the little girl.

The service flowed on and still Natasha slept, her warmth and vulnerability creating a surprising feeling of protectiveness in Hailey.

But, to her shame, in spite of focusing her attention on the pastor, she was far too aware of Dan’s hand resting only inches from hers.

The chords of the last song rang through the sanctuary and Dan waited a moment, too many emotions storming the defenses he’d spent seven years putting in place.

All through the service he’d been far too conscious of Hailey. Her movements. The way she would curl her hair around her finger. The way she would smile at a point the minister had made.

Sometimes it seemed that the past seven years were just a drift of smoke, but then all he had to do was look at his daughter and realize that, between him and Hailey, everything had changed.

Now, as Natasha lay with her head on Hailey’s lap, part of him wanted to snatch Natasha away from Hailey, pull his little girl to himself. Pull himself into the present.

But part of him also felt a disturbing sense of rightness. Hailey had always wanted to be a mother. She had always talked about having a large family. Six kids. Maybe more.

Dan gave himself a mental shake, erasing past emotions and history that had come back to haunt the present. What he felt for Hailey didn’t belong here and now.

However, right now he had another reality to deal with. Natasha’s schooling.

Hailey gently shook Natasha, trying to wake her up, but she wouldn’t even open her eyes.

Dan sat down again. “Just leave her,” he said quietly. “I need to talk to you anyway.” He glanced over his shoulder at the people leaving the sanctuary. He couldn’t see his parents, which was just as well. He needed a moment with Hailey. Alone.

As he waited, the buzz of conversation from the exiting congregation was punctuated with bursts of laughter. Light streamed over the emptying pews from the stained glass windows, bathing everyone in a multicolored glow.

Not much had changed here, he thought.

“What do you want to talk to me about?” Hailey asked, shooting him a puzzled frown.

Dan didn’t say anything right away. In a few moments they could speak in private. Finally, the last people left the foyer and only then did Dan turn to Hailey.

“I have a favor to ask of you,” he said, keeping his voice low so he wouldn’t wake Natasha.

“Sure. What is it?”

Dan tapped his fingers on the back of the wooden pew, realizing how silly he was about to look, given his initial resistance to Hailey tutoring his daughter.

But that was before the in-laws’ phone call. Before the pressure to come up with a solution had pushed him to this place. Before he had realized there was no one else to do the job.

“I was wondering if you’re still willing to tutor Natasha,” he said.

“What? Why now?”

Dan pursed his lips, trying to think of how to tell her, then decided to go with the easiest response. The truth.

“Ever since Lydia died, her parents have been pushing to get custody of Natasha. When they found out she wasn’t going to school, they saw it as ammunition.” He couldn’t stop the bitter tone that crept into his voice. Or the anger. He paused a moment to settle himself, then looked over at Hailey. “Truth is, I’m stuck. I need a tutor, and because you’re a qualified teacher, that makes it easier to prove I’m doing the right thing with Natasha’s schooling.” He didn’t add that he couldn’t find anyone else.

Before Hailey’s glance slid away from him, he caught a glimpse of pain in her gray eyes.

He didn’t want to analyze why she might feel that way. He felt as if he was using her, but when it came to his daughter he would do anything.

“I’ll pay you,” he added, hoping, praying she wouldn’t turn him down. “I don’t expect you to do this for free.”

Hailey raised her hand as if to say stop. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll tutor her.”

The tension in Dan’s shoulders released. “Great. I appreciate that. I will pay you, though. At least as much as you’re making at the school.”

Hailey gently stroked Natasha’s hair. Dan was surprised to see a slight tremor in her fingers. “Did you want me to start tomorrow?” she asked.

“That would be best.”

Hailey pulled in a long, slow breath, then turned back to him. “Are you sure about this?”

Her direct question accentuated his own concerns but he knew he had no choice.

“I have to be,” was all he could say to her.

Her eyes held his and in her expression he saw all the misgivings he also had entertained.

It would work, he told himself. A lot had happened between then and now. They were different people now.

Besides, it was only for a while. Once Natasha had eased back into regular classroom life, he wouldn’t need Hailey’s help anymore.

And once the school year was over, Hailey would be leaving Hartley Creek anyway.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to be tutoring Dan’s girl?” Shannon closed a cupboard door in her kitchen and set a bowl beside the stove. “That won’t be awkward?” Hailey’s sister tossed her long, wavy hair away from her face as she dumped a pan of green beans into the bowl. Then she reached past Hailey for the nutmeg.

Hailey blew out a sigh as she carved up the chicken for the dinner she and Shannon were preparing for Nana in Shannon’s apartment. “Hopefully not. I mean we’re both adults. Besides, when he married Lydia he made it clear he had moved on.”

“But still—”

“Have you heard anything more from Naomi?” Hailey didn’t want to talk about her and Dan’s past. She had shed enough tears over Dan’s decisions and Shannon had been witness to most of them. Hailey had her own life now and Dan wasn’t a part of it. “Last I talked to her, the oncologist said Billy had maybe another month?”

Shannon shook her head. “Poor Naomi. When she and Billy got engaged, who could have imagined this would happen?”

“Do you think she’ll be back for Carter and Emma’s wedding?”

“I hope so.” Shannon frowned as she sprinkled nutmeg over the bowl of steaming beans. “Our poor sister has had to deal with so much, it would be good for her to be around family.”

“Hopefully Garret will be done with that engineering job in Dubai by then.”

“I hope so too. I’m looking forward to having everyone back for a while.”

“What do you mean, for a while?” Nana Beck’s quiet voice interrupted the sisters’ conversation. She settled herself in the folding chair beside the plastic table that took up one corner of Shannon’s minuscule kitchen.

“You know I have a teaching job in Calgary come September,” Hailey said, laying a drumstick on the plate she was filling up.

“I still don’t believe you can’t find a job closer to home,” Nana complained.