Susan Mallery - Her Last First Date

Not that she went on many first dates anymore. She hated them. Dating was miserable enough without dealing with the whole “get to know” first date.

After changing her earrings again, she walked out to the living room where her cat, King Edward, lay in a patch of sun.

“How do I look?” she asked as she turned in a slow circle. “If you were a twelve-year-old boy, would I embarrass you or not?”

King Edward raised his head, blinked twice, then yawned.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” she muttered, grabbed her keys and headed out.

In less time than it should have taken, she pulled up in front of a sprawling ranch-style house in a comfy suburban section of Riverside. It was the kind of street where kids rode bikes and neighbors took in packages for each other.

Crissy had to park a nearly half a block away, due to the number of cars. Josh hadn’t been kidding when he’d said it was a big party. All the easier for her to get lost in the crowd, she thought as she climbed out.

She’d taken him up on his offer and phoned when she’d been on her way. As she approached, she saw him step out onto the small porch and head toward her.

He was taller than she remembered and oddly enough, better looking. She liked the way he smiled at her and tried to focus on him rather than her reason for being there.

“Nervous?” he asked as she approached.

“Paralyzed. I may start drooling.”

“That will make an impression.”

They stared at each other. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and smiled.

“It’s okay. Take a breath. You’ll do fine.”

“Something you don’t actually know,” she muttered. “I have a fabulous imagination and I can come up with about three hundred disaster scenarios in less than a minute.”

“Impressive.”

He looked far too amused for her taste. “You could be more sympathetic here. It’s my life on the line.”

“It’s not your life. It’s nothing more than—”

But before he could attempt to convince her of the impossible, the front door banged open and a twelve-year-old boy burst onto the porch.

“Uncle Josh, come on! We’re going to play football and I want you on my team.”

Crissy’s breath caught in her throat. The world seemed to jog slightly to the left. She stared into a face she’d only ever seen in pictures. But this flesh and blood version couldn’t begin to compare to those two-dimensional photos.

She’d seen him in person once before. Nearly thirteen years ago, on a Thursday morning when the nurse had offered her the tiny, wrapped baby to hold.

Crissy remembered she’d refused. She’d pointed to a tearful but elated Abbey.

“That’s his mom,” she’d said, and meant it.

But did she still?

Chapter Two

Crissy tried not to stare at Brandon. This was their first meeting and she didn’t want to come off as scary or creepy. But it was hard to act normal when her heart pounded so hard in her chest she was sure even the neighbors could hear it. Fortunately Brandon was far more interested in his game than an adult visitor he didn’t know.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Josh said. “Go ahead and start without me.”

“Not if I want my team to win,” Brandon said.

“Winning isn’t everything.”

“You always say that, but when we play you get mad if we lose.”

Josh chuckled. “It’s a character flaw. I want better for you.”

Brandon rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. “Uncle Josh, you know you want to play. I’ll let you be quarterback.”

“Bribery, huh?”

Crissy stood silent through their conversation. She tried to focus on Josh, but her gaze kept slipping to the tall, skinny boy pleading for victory. Looking at him was surreal—she could see parts of herself and her family in him. A familiar tilt of the head, a similar smile. She’d never thought about finding bits of herself in Brandon.

She was both delighted by the fact and a little disconcerted. The need to run was just as strong as her desire to know more about him. Talk about a series of complications.

Josh stepped close and put his arm around her. As the steady weight settled on her shoulders, she realized she’d been shaking.

“This is Crissy,” he said. “She’s a friend of mine. Crissy, this is Brandon Daniels.”

“Hi,” she said, doing her best to smile normally. “Nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” Brandon said automatically as his gaze shot back to his uncle. “You brought a girl?”

“It happens.”

“It hasn’t ever.” Brandon was obviously intrigued by the idea. “So she’s like your girlfriend?”

Josh didn’t bring women around? Crissy knew he was close to his family, so did the lack of women mean he didn’t date? He was single—she was sure Abbey had told her that. So why the lack of female companionship? On the surface he was practically perfect—good looking, funny, charming and hey, a doctor. What was there not to like?

“She’s female and a friend,” Josh said easily. “Deal with it.”

Brandon eyed Crissy, then grinned. “Okay.” He moved close and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Crissy shook hands with her son. A thousand emotions flooded her as their skin touched. This boy had been conceived inside of her, had grown in her body. She’d given birth to him and then walked away. They were strangers and yet as intimately connected as two people could be.

Too much, too soon, she thought as her head began to spin.

She turned to Josh. “You should go play. I’ll be fine.”

“All right!” Brandon rushed to the front door. “You heard her. Come on!”

“You sure?” Josh asked as he stepped back. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“She’s fine,” Brandon said. “She can find her way to the kitchen where my mom is.” He backed into the house yelling, “It’s the first door on the left.” There was the sound of running feet followed by a faint, “I got Uncle Josh on my team.”

Josh ushered Crissy into the house. They stepped into a messy but comfortable-looking living room.

“If you’re sure,” he began.

“Go.” She pushed him toward the hallway. “Like Brandon said, I can find my way to the kitchen.”

“Okay. But I’ll be back soon.”

He headed down the hallway. Before following and finding the kitchen, Crissy looked at the pictures on the living room walls. There were dozens, all family photos. Baby pictures of Brandon gave way to snapshots of him at four or five with another baby. The infant grew to a pretty little girl. Then a third child joined the mix.

There were formal portraits and candid shots. Some with Abbey and Pete, some without. But wherever Crissy looked, she saw a connection. Did she have a right to step in the middle of this? Despite Abbey’s constant urgings to get to know Brandon, Crissy felt like an outsider who had the ability to destroy this happy family.

“Something I won’t do,” she whispered to herself, making a vow rather than a statement. She was here to get to know her son, but not at the cost of hurting something wonderful. If anything bad started to happen, she would disappear and never be heard from again.

She walked down the hall and found her way into a large, bright kitchen. There were half a dozen women standing around, talking and laughing.

They looked like the clients who came to her gyms. Suburban moms. Normal women with busy lives. Once again Crissy had the sense of them being a part of something and not being sure if she would ever belong. Then Abbey looked up from the cutting board where she’d been slicing strawberries and saw her.

“You made it,” she said, her voice bright with pleasure. “Everyone, this is Crissy. She’s a friend of Josh’s. Crissy, these are my friends. I’m going to go around the room and tell you everyone’s name, but we don’t expect you to remember them the first time out.”