Jeaniene Frost - The Brightest Embers

“Then this is goodbye,” Zach agreed softly.

I nodded, looking away to swipe at a tear that appeared for no reason. When I glanced back, Zach had disappeared. No one else in the dining car seemed to notice that a passenger had suddenly vanished into thin air, either. They were all too busy living their own lives, as I’d decided to do.

More tears escaped. Why did I suddenly feel bad about this? No matter Zach’s claims, he’d left me no real choice. Hadn’t I saved enough lives despite the risk to myself? It was thanks to me that most demons were locked out of our world now! Otherwise, the realm walls would have continued to crumble, and I’d seen firsthand how horrifying it was to have one of their worlds spill out into ours. Now no one would have to worry about that happening for a long, long time. Shouldn’t that alone have earned me the right to a little happiness?

It did, I decided, brushing back my tears. In fact, I’d probably saved millions of lives by sealing off the realms. I would’ve kept trying to save more, too, if Zach hadn’t arrogantly refused to tell me if I had a real chance at freeing those trapped in the realms. Why should I be the one feeling guilty? All I’d asked for was the knowledge that I wouldn’t be risking my life and everyone else’s for nothing—

Agony shot up my right arm, forcing a scream from me. Demon! I thought, expecting to see the tattoo turning a warning gold color. Yet aside from the awful burn that felt like it went straight through to my bones, the tattoo looked the same.

Then, to my shock, the braided rope etching began to fade. I grabbed it as if by doing so I could stop it from disappearing, but even as I snatched and pulled at my skin, the ancient, hallowed sling continued to dissipate, until finally, it vanished from sight. When another spine-deep pain ripped through me from shoulder to ankle, bringing me to my knees from the intensity of the invisible blow, I ripped open my blouse with a combination of agony and desperation.

The gnarled wooden outline of the staff that had marked the entire right side of my body since I’d wielded it was now fading, too. As I watched in disbelief, it disappeared until nothing but smooth skin remained. When it vanished, so did the pain, leaving me staring at my body with a stunned sort of understanding.

I’d chosen to renounce my destiny, so the hallowed weapons that had merged with my flesh had apparently chosen to renounce me.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

NO ONE ELSE around me cared that I’d experienced a supernatural and existential crisis. That was clear when the nearest train attendant grabbed me, keeping me on the floor while calling out for help. He probably thought I was having a psychotic breakdown. That would be the most logical explanation for someone suddenly screaming and tearing open her blouse in the middle of the dining car, and if he’d known my mental health history, he would have really believed that.

Since I didn’t want to experience Europe’s version of a padded cell, I quickly fabricated a story about being allergic to bees and saying I’d thought one had gotten inside my blouse. Not the most ingenious excuse, but luckily, the attendant spoke English, and my story was enough to stop them from continuing to restrain me. I was in the middle of getting up and apologizing to everyone when Adrian stormed into the dining car.

“I heard you scream. What happened?” he demanded.

I held my torn blouse together with one hand and patted him with the other. “Nothing. I thought I saw a bee, and I panicked. You know how allergic I am.”

He pulled me close, his gaze flicking around in a predatory manner. He knew I was lying, so he was coiled and ready to attack.

I couldn’t tell him what had really happened here, so I tugged him toward the back of the dining car. “I’m so embarrassed. Let’s just go back to our cabin now.”

He glanced down—and froze. A hiss escaped him as he stared at the newly blank skin on my right hand. “Ivy—”

“Cabin. Please,” I repeated, tugging him harder.

He grasped my hand and walked out of the dining car. I had to nearly run to keep up with his rapid strides, not that I minded. I wanted to get away from all the stares leveled my way.

We ran into Jasmine and Costa in the hallway of our train car. Costa’s hand was in his jacket pocket, and I saw a very suspicious bulge protruding from the fabric. I realized he’d heard my scream and jumped to the wrong conclusion, too.

“Put that away,” I hissed. All we needed was for someone to glimpse the outline of the gun and assume that he was about to commit a terrorist attack.

“What happened?” Costa said, eyeing me and Adrian.

Our cabin was small, but I waved everyone inside. It was standing room only once we shut the door, yet my decision affected everyone, so they all deserved to hear it.

“I have something to tell you,” I began. “I’ve—”

“What the hell?” Jaz exclaimed, grabbing my right hand. “Ivy! Your tattoo is gone!”

Costa muttered something in Greek as he stared at my hand. Adrian didn’t look away from my eyes, even when I pulled back my torn blouse to reveal that the staff tattoo was now gone, too.

“I know,” I said, forcing the words out despite my throat closing off with a surge of unexpected shame. “I’ve been thinking a lot about things since the attack yesterday, and I think...”

I stopped and dropped my eyes. Jasmine and Costa had both been terribly abused in demon realms, so my choice to bow out might come across like I was saying what happened to them didn’t matter to me anymore. Oh God. What if they hated me for this?

“Think what?” my sister asked impatiently.

Adrian slipped behind me and drew me into his arms. Those thick, warm bands and the solidness of his body soothed my sudden case of trembles.

“I’m not going after the spearhead anymore,” I said bluntly. “I’ve been kidding myself about being able to survive it long enough to save those people. I also learned that the realm walls will eventually weaken again, putting demons right back in business. So, I don’t see a point in risking everyone’s lives trying to find a weapon that’ll kill me before I can help anyone anyway—”

Jasmine threw her arms around me, cutting off the rest of my explanation. Her hug was so welcome and unexpected; I didn’t care that it was difficult to breathe between her tight frontal embrace and Adrian gripping me from behind.

“You’re not mad?” I got out, wiggling to get more room.

“Why?” She drew back, showing that her face was now wet from tears. “I never wanted you to do it in the first place! Each time you left to look for the staff or the spearhead, I’ve been terrified that you’ll never come back. It’s all I’ve been able to do to hold myself together these past few months. Good God, Ives, I have a white streak in my hair and I’m not even twenty! No, I’m not mad that you’re stopping. In fact, I’m so happy—” her voice broke “—I’m so happy I can’t even stand it.”

She dissolved into tears, and Adrian let me go so I could hold her. I stroked her hair and whispered reassurances that everything would be all right while, over her shoulder, I met Costa’s eyes. They were shiny with tears that didn’t hit his cheeks, yet his jaw was set in a hard line as he nodded at me.

I understand, that nod said. I didn’t know if he agreed like Jasmine did, but right now, his understanding was enough.

“So, your tattoos vanished after you decided to stop looking for the spearhead?” Jasmine asked with a final, teary sniff. “Guess that’s the supernatural version of having security throw you out after quitting.”

I let out a breathy laugh even though I felt more conflicted than amused. “Guess so. I saw Zach right before they disappeared, so I’m guessing he had something to do with it.”