Jill Steeples - Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

‘No! Definitely not.’ Sadness swept over me. ‘I don’t know. How can we marry after this? It was meant to be the day of my dreams and now he’s gone and ruined everything.’ I sighed, still unable to quite believe what had happened. The thought of my stunning silk dress hanging in the wardrobe at my parents’ house brought even more tears to my eyes. Would I even get the chance to wear it now? What about all my little bridesmaids and their lovely dresses? They would be so disappointed. And all those delicious canapés I’d ordered. The five-course wedding breakfast. The champagne. The string quartet and the live band for the evening do. The disco. This was all Sophie’s fault. The cow! So much work and effort had gone into my one special day. I couldn’t bear the thought that it would all come to nothing. ‘Maybe Ed and Sophie should be getting married instead!’

Ben gave a rueful smile, but his expression was pained.

‘Don’t be silly. It’s you he wants to marry. But you need to talk all this through with him.’

‘I’m not even sure what I’d say to him.’

‘Look, come and stay with me. This has been one hell of a shock. You won’t be thinking straight. Come to mine; take a day or two to think about it, and then decide what you’re going to do. You don’t want to make any rash decisions. I won’t say anything to Sophie or Ed, not until you’re ready to face them. We can come up with an excuse, tell them you’ve gone to your mum’s a few days early or something.’

‘Could I? You don’t mind? What about Ed? He’s your friend.’

‘Yes, but so are you, Anna. And besides, you were my friend first,’ he said, in a touching show of allegiance. There was a smile hovering on his lips that went a small way to making me feel a bit better.

‘Oh Ben!’ I threw my around his neck, and dropped my head onto his chest, dampening his lovely pink polo with my tears and snot. Very gallantly, he wiped them away with his arm, only cringing slightly at the grossness. ‘Why do you think he did it? Wasn’t I enough for him? Sophie’s not even his type.’

‘I don’t know. He’s a bloody idiot, if you ask me.’ He made circular movements with his hand on my back, holding himself at a distance from my soggy warmth. ‘I don’t think it was planned or premeditated, if that’s any consolation. I think it just happened. A mistake, and then, well, I guess he just kept on repeating that mistake. You know what it’s like.’

Was I hearing him right?

‘Actually, Ben, forgive me, but I don’t know what it’s like. I would never have done anything like that to him. He’s supposed to love me. You don’t do that to someone you love. Especially not with her best friend. Oh God. Don’t you see what this means? I’ve lost my fiancé, my best friend and my bloody home in one fell swoop. What will I do?’

He shrugged, looking woefully out of his depth.

‘It didn’t mean anything to Ed. That’s what he told me. And I believe him on that score. But once he got himself involved with Sophie, I think it took on a life force of its own. It wasn’t easy for him to get out of it.’

‘Huh! Poor him! But that really isn’t my problem. As far as I’m concerned, they’re welcome to each other.’

At the sound of the key in the front door, we both jumped in our seats, the fear I was feeling reflected in Ben’s startled expression.

‘Oh, shit, shit, shit.’ I leapt up off the sofa, doing an Irish jig on the spot. ‘I can’t see her. Not like this. I might cry or break down or … or murder her or something.’

Ben’s eyebrow did a doubtful dance as he put a finger to my lips.

‘Just act normal,’ he whispered. ‘I’ll do all the talking. And, don’t worry, I’ll make sure you don’t actually murder her.’

Act normal, act normal . What was normal behaviour when you’d just found out your best friend had been screwing your fiancé? I think murder had to be high up there.

‘Hi!’ Sophie wandered in through the front door looking as though she owned the place, which strictly speaking she did, but in the circumstances I thought it was a bit insensitive of her to look quite so damn smug about it. ‘Oh hi, Ben. What are you doing here?’ she said casually.

I couldn’t have murdered her even if I’d wanted to, which I obviously did, but at that moment I found my whole body rooted to the spot. I’d completely lost the power of speech and was aware that my mouth had dropped open unflatteringly. It was like seeing Sophie for the first time. Only now she’d grown horns and fanged teeth.

‘We were just going through the honeymoon list, weren’t we, Anna?’ Ben nudged me in the ribs. ‘I need to make sure Ed gets on that plane with everything he needs for a fortnight in the sun. If he forgets his swimming cozzie then it’s down to me. Huge responsibility, eh?’

We’d spent weeks poring over travel brochures comparing one exotic Caribbean island to another, the thought of those golden, sweeping beaches, the beach huts on stilts, the roasting-hot sun, sustaining us through the stresses of organising the wedding. Although strictly speaking, I’d been the one doing all the organising. Ed’s contribution was in a chief-executive, advisory and signing-off capacity only. Clearly he’d had other much more important matters on his mind.

Whatever else happened, I knew, standing there, looking at Sophie as though she were a stranger, that there was absolutely no way I was cancelling that bloody honeymoon. I’d been looking forward to it for so long that if necessary I’d go on my own.

‘You okay?’ Sophie was trying, but failing, to make eye contact with me.

‘Fine thanks.’ It took all my will-power to raise my head and flash her my most insincere smile. ‘Just feeling a bit rough, that’s all.’

‘Yeah, I’ve persuaded her to go to her mum’s for a few days,’ Ben added brightly. ‘She could probably do with a bit of pampering in the run-up to the big day.’

‘Oh right. That sounds like a good idea. Um … I hope you feel better soon then.’

I bit on the inside of my lip, my gaze locking with Ben’s as we heard her wander upstairs. Had the atmosphere always been this awkward between us? Or only since Sophie had been sleeping with my fiancé? Had I been so wrapped up in my own smug soon-to-be-married bubble that I hadn’t even noticed that Sophie could barely talk to me, that her underlying resentment wafted through the air like the stench of gone-off vegetables?

‘Can we go?’ I said, desperate now to get out of the flat.

‘Yeah. I’ll take your bag.’ Ben ushered me into the hallway, calling up the stairs. ‘We’re off now, Sophie. We’ll catch up with you later in the week, yeah?’

‘Okay! Oh, Anna,’ she called, coming halfway down the steps, the lightest of smiles resting on her lips, ‘have you been in my bedroom?’

‘What?’ My heart froze. It felt as if my whole life stopped in that moment. My breath caught in the back of my throat.

I looked her directly in the eye. If I had been standing behind her at that moment it would have been so easy to give her a shove, to hear the thump, thump, thump of her body falling down the stairs. An image of the diary, its pages ripped out, blood trailing the carpet, crumpled bodies on the floor, flashed into my mind. My pulse thumped so rapidly from every part of my body I felt certain they’d both hear it.

‘Oh yeah, I was looking for my earrings,’ I said, brazening it out.

Sophie giggled, her relief echoing through the hall.

‘Oh sorry, babe,’ she said, not looking in the remotest part sorry. ‘I completely forgot. Here.’ She unscrewed them from her ears and handed them back to me.

It took all my will-power not to fling them straight back at her.