Alexandra Sellers - Born Royal

“Who the hell is this?” growled a deep male voice. Julia took a breath.

“Jack? This is Julia, Christina’s sister. Is she there?”

“Julia.” He cleared his throat. “Right. Hi. Hang on.”

She heard the click of a lamp, and a confused murmur, then Christina’s sleepy voice came on the line. “Tiss? What’s up?”

“Oh, God, Squidge, you were sleeping! I’m sorry! I completely forgot the time difference. Is it really late?”

“No, that’s okay,” her sister said softly. “Actually…it’s almost morning.”

Julia gave a half laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry! I’ll call back!”

“No, no, I’m awake now. Let me just…” Another murmur, followed by the noise of the receiver being set down on a hard surface, then her brother-in-law’s voice in the distance.

“Going somewhere?”

“I’ll talk in the other room so you can get back to sleep. Will you hang this up?”

“Yes. Where exactly are you taking the duvet?”

“To the other room. It’s a bit chilly.”

“Yes, it is. Bathrobe,” she heard in tones of firm masculine command. “The duvet stays with me.”

“My he-man! I thought you were immune to cold!” Christina’s voice teased.

“The duvet is my insurance,” he said. There was a smile in his voice. “You might forget where you were if you didn’t have a warm bed to come back to.”

“Oh, for sure!” There was a giggle from Christina that reminded Julia of those long-ago, carefree days of childhood. It was full of mischief and fun that was very unlike the cool Dr. Sebastiani Christina had become, and she thought, They really are in love.

Suddenly she felt like crying. Why couldn’t it happen like that for me? Why is it I only get proposed to for political convenience?

“Are you still there, Tiss?”

There was the sound of the other receiver being gently replaced. Julia swallowed the lump in her throat. “Yeah, I’m here.”

“What is it? Is everything all right?”

Where to begin?

“We heard about your engagement on the news. Congratulations.” There was just a hint of hurt in her sister’s voice. “It was a bit unexpected. First they were hinting that Rashid would deny pat—”

“Squidge, it was a surprise to me, too. The first I heard I was marrying him was when I read it in the Messenger.”

There was an sharp intake of breath, and she had the satisfaction of knowing she’d shocked Christina. “Excuse me?”

“He didn’t bother to propose to me. He was so sure I’d be grateful for his offer he—”

“Grateful!” Christina yelped. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Thank you for that. I’ve been wondering if I’m the crazy one and should be panting with gratitude for being offered another chance at the married state.”

“Is that his attitude? I thought at least that he loved you. I wasn’t sure about your feelings, but—”

“He does not love me,” Julia said ruthlessly.

“Then why would he want to marry you?”

“For the same reason he cooperated with NATO to get those terrorists. Because he wants to signal that Tamir’s ready for an alliance with the West. He wants peace between us and Tamir. All those good things. And all we have to do is sacrifice our personal happiness for the good of our countries.”

“My God.” A long silence. “I’m sorry, Julia. The newscaster said…I confess I was really hoping that you did love him. It would be so nice to think of you being happy at last.”

“No, it’s the same old question here. Do I marry for the sake of the kingdom?”

“That’s awful. What does Papa say about it?”

“They’re still away, thank God. After an initial apoplectic attack, Papa backed off. I think he just can’t cope. You know how old-fashioned he is, he hates to think of a baby being born outside of marriage. On the other hand…”

Christina gave a breathless little laugh. “On the other hand, when the father’s a Kamal… Oh, Tiss, what a mess. What are you going to do?”

Suddenly the tears were threatening again. “That’s what I called to ask you. What am I going to do? Got any ideas?”

A humming silence. Then, “It’s not like they teach this sort of thing in grad school, Tiss. Of course it would be better if you could be married, but not… Are you sure Rashid doesn’t love you? Not even just enough to build on?”

“Yes, I’m sure. He told me himself he wanted the marriage for political purposes. Apparently he’s had this dream of ending the feud through a marriage for years. He even imagined I might have deliberately got pregnant because I had the same goal, can you believe it?”

“No,” Christina said. “I can’t believe anyone would think you’re that calculating. But Julia, how did it happen?”

“I guess for a critical moment I went out of my mind. It’s not based on anything real.”

“But you did—Tiss, forgive me if I’m missing something here, but there must be something between you.”

“Squidge,” Julia began a bit desperately, “it happened the night they announced they were calling off the search for Lucas. It was—I mean, my feelings were just so close to the surface…. I’m sure you must have felt the same.”

A long, sorrowing silence fell between the sisters. “Has there been any news at all?” Christina asked quietly.

“Nothing. And Papa still can’t accept it. Well, neither can I, in my heart.”

“Me neither. And that’s what caused you to lose your head with Rashid that night? Don’t you think that just the very fact that you could turn to Rashid in such a moment shows—”

“No!” Julia’s heart was beating fast suddenly. “I wasn’t really attracted. I was just out of my mind.” She said it like a mantra, as if the denial might protect her from something. Something like truth.

Christina sighed with regret. “Well, you can’t marry him, then. And you shouldn’t feel you have to. This isn’t the fourteenth century, Julia. Our countries don’t need a marriage contract. They need a peace treaty.”

Julia breathed deep. “Yes, you’re right. You’re right.”

“Don’t marry someone you don’t love, Tiss. You know how bad a loveless marriage is, but you don’t know how good a loving one is. You deserve better next time around—a man you love, and who loves you, with a once-in-a-lifetime sort of love.”

Warmth and certainty flowed through the phone line. She could hear the smile behind Christina’s words that said her sister had found that kind of love. She felt a pang so painful she almost gasped.

“All right. Thanks, Squidge. Go back to bed now,” she ordered softly.

“Well…are you really all right?”

“Yes.”

“Good night, then.”

“Night. Give my love to Jack.”

“Mmmmm.” It was a sound of rich happiness. “And Tiss—”

“Yes?”

“Don’t let them make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

Julia sat with her hand on the phone for a long time after they had hung up, feeling the connection with her sister. Imagining Christina going back into the bedroom and snuggling down beside her husband, knowing he loved her…. How lucky they were. Alone together on their honeymoon in the middle of nowhere, no staff, no bodyguards, no servants. Just two people who loved each other.

You don’t know how good a loving marriage is.

Suddenly the tears burned up and overflowed, and this time she couldn’t stop them. It was as if she was crying for everything at once—for Lucas, for her loveless marriage, for her child who would be raised without a father…for the fact that Rashid wanted to marry her for all the wrong reasons.

A newsmagazine with his photo on the cover was lying on her bedside table. No doubt because some romantic member of the domestic staff imagined she would want the picture of her intended. She glanced down at his face. His eyes were at once stern and laughing, and they seemed to pierce her defences.