Sherryl Woods - Honeysuckle Summer

“It wasn’t enough,” Raylene countered. “I love you for taking me in and putting up with my craziness for all this time, but it needs to stop now. I will not put your children at risk.”

Sarah frowned at her determined tone. “What I know is that my children love you. You’re one of my two best friends and right now this is your home. It’s where you feel safe. Until you feel stronger and really, really want to move out on your own, you’re staying right here with us, and that’s final.”

Raylene regarded her with a mix of frustration and amazement. “How can you want that after what happened?”

“Because I love you, you dope. And like Travis said, what happened with the kids today could just as easily have happened to me or to him.”

“Listen to her,” Annie said, cradling Meg in her arms. “Trevor gets away from me in the blink of an eye. I swear one of these days I’m going to put that boy on a leash when I take him to the mall. Who knew kids that size could move so fast? Their legs are short, for goodness’ sake. Of course, Ty has a conniption when I say that, but he’s not the one standing in a crowded mall trying to spot a kid in a sea of legs.”

She met Raylene’s gaze. “And another thing, since Trevor’s my stepson, I feel an even greater sense of responsibility in a way. If anything ever happened to him on my watch, I don’t know if Ty would ever forgive me. So you see, I do understand how you feel, Raylene. I know exactly how terrifying this must have been.”

“So do I,” Travis said, his gaze on Sarah. “Don’t you think I feel a huge weight of responsibility every time I take Libby and Tommy out with me? Sure, I’d feel that if I were their biological dad, but, like Annie said, somehow I think it’s harder being their stepparent or, in your case, the friend who’s been left in charge.”

They were wearing away at all of Raylene’s arguments. She did have one more, though. “Okay, what about Walter?” she asked Sarah. “I’m sure he has an opinion about all this. Do you want to give him the perfect excuse to file for custody?”

Right after her own divorce, any mention of a custody suit would have scared Sarah to death, but now she waved it off. “I anticipated something like this, so I asked Walter flat out if he intended to make an issue of what happened today. He told me no, and he meant it. I could tell.”

She reached over and squeezed Raylene’s hand. “He likes you, sweetie. How you’ve pulled it off is beyond me, but he considers you a friend. He acted like I was nuts when I suggested he might use this to seek custody. He told me we were past all that a long time ago, he agreed it was better for the kids to live mainly with me and he had no intention of dragging you into that kind of fight. I’ll call him right now, and he can tell you that himself, if you need to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”

“No,” Raylene said. “But you all are being entirely too understanding, Walter included. The important thing is to keep the kids safe. They’re obviously not safe with me.”

“Okay, we can deal with that,” Sarah said decisively. “From now on, you won’t stay here alone with them, not even for a few minutes, but that’s the only thing that’s going to change. This is your home, period. Don’t waste your breath trying to make me change my mind.”

Raylene sighed with frustration and, if she were being honest, a hint of relief. “I appreciate this, I really do, but I just don’t see how you can be so generous after the way I let Tommy get away from me. Anything could have happened.”

“But it didn’t,” Sarah said emphatically. “And I said it because it’s how I feel. You’re a Sweet Magnolia, just like me and Annie, Maddie, Helen, Dana Sue and Jeanette. That makes you the next best thing to a sister, okay? And families stick together.” She regarded Raylene slyly. “There is one thing you could do for me in return, though.”

Raylene braced herself. She already knew what was coming. They’d had the conversation before. “You want me to see Dr. McDaniels.” The psychologist had treated Annie years ago for an eating disorder and continued to monitor her progress whenever Annie felt herself slipping. After well over a year of watching Raylene get worse, Annie and Sarah had started pushing Raylene to consult her. Their pleas had become increasingly forceful lately. Now, understandably, they were bound to be amped up even more.

Sarah nodded. “I do. Whether you just have a panic disorder or full-blown agoraphobia, it’s time to face it, Raylene. Not just because of what happened today, but so you can get your life back. Maybe this incident today happened for a reason, to make you finally get the help you need.”

Raylene had been waging an internal battle against seeking help from the moment her friends had first mentioned it. It had probably been a ridiculous point of pride that she conquer this problem on her own. The truth was, though, that she obviously couldn’t. Whatever was going on was bigger than she was.

When she remained silent, trying to work up the courage to concede defeat and ask for help, Annie stepped in.

“Raylene, this is treatable,” Annie assured her. “You know that. I’ve shown you all the research I could find on the Internet. There’s a very good chance Dr. McDaniels can work with a physician to get you on the right combination of medicine to help, and maybe teach you some calming and relaxation techniques. Don’t let that horrific ex-husband of yours rob you of the rest of your life. Now that you’re free of him, you need to live every second to the absolute fullest. You need to meet someone new, someone who’s kind and gentle and treats you with the respect you deserve. We all want that for you.”

“And you think I’ll meet that kind of man in Serenity?” Raylene scoffed with some of the leftover snobbishness she’d been taught by her mother, a Charleston socialite who’d married a local man, then found herself stuck in Serenity and had chafed at every minute of her life here.

“I have,” Sarah reminded her, glancing over at Travis, who gave her a wink. “So have Annie and Jeanette. And look at the men in Maddie, Dana Sue and Helen’s lives. They’re all amazing. And, if you don’t mind my saying so, that highly educated blueblooded doctor you met in Charleston wasn’t exactly a catch, now was he?”

Raylene’s lips quirked despite the reminder of just how awful Paul Hammond had been.

“You have me there,” she admitted. “Although a man is the last thing on my mind at the moment, I will call Dr. McDaniels.” Because she’d made the promise at least a dozen times before, she knew it probably sounded empty now. “I mean it. I’ll do it this time, first thing in the morning. You can stand right by the phone and listen in, if you want to. I owe you that much for sticking by me despite what happened.”

“You’re not doing it for me,” Sarah corrected. “You’re doing it for yourself. You need to concentrate on that. And I don’t need to listen to the call, Raylene. If you make a promise, you’ll keep it.”

Raylene was grateful for the trust Sarah had in her word. She just wasn’t so sure she deserved either the trust or a future. That was one more aftereffect of living with a man who’d literally and figuratively beaten her into submission for way too long before she’d wised up and left. That it had taken her years, rather than minutes, would shame her forever. That it had cost her the baby she’d been carrying had left her with the kind of gut-wrenching guilt from which she couldn’t imagine ever recovering.

Even she recognized that she’d been punishing herself by locking herself away in this house. Paul might be serving his time in prison, but she’d been serving her self-imposed sentence right here. Even now, she wasn’t a hundred percent certain she deserved to have it end, but today the stakes of doing nothing had increased to a level she could no longer ignore.