Nicola Lewis - Mind Over Clutter

Don’t try to do too much too soon. If you do, at some point the task will overwhelm you and that could put you off continuing. Starting small is better than not starting at all. So take it a step at a time and celebrate the little ‘wins’ and positives as you go along. Don’t rush it – this is a long-term, lifelong process, not a quick fix or makeover. Decluttering can radically change your life and lead to better, more sustainable habits and a new mindset.

Big challenges can be intimidating, so turn them into measurable goals – say, 30 minutes a day – and you’ll be blown away by how much you can achieve. Start to self-love and self-praise: tell yourself you’re doing your best. Then nothing is impossible.

Don’t be disheartened if it takes longer than you expected. Remember that even one tick is better than none. Decluttering can take time and there’s no need to rush.

Take Back Control

By using my simple method you’ll soon start to feel a sense of achievement and satisfaction as you take back control of your life and introduce more order into your home. This, in turn, will motivate you to move on to the next task or room and the time you spend decluttering will become a pleasure rather than a chore. My mum always says that it refreshes your home, your mind and your overall wellbeing, and she’s right: you’ll feel much happier living in an environment that isn’t crammed with clutter and items you don’t use. It’s liberating and empowering to purge the stuff you don’t want or need any more. It makes you want to smile and gives you the space to breathe, to be calm and to focus on what’s important for you.

We all have too much stuff, and removing or reducing the number of items that no longer have any purpose and don’t make you happy will give you untold satisfaction. It feels great to be happy with what you have and not feel the need to accumulate. Getting rid of personal belongings can be tricky, especially if they are associated with good memories, but there’s no point hanging on to something just because you ‘might need it some day’. If you haven’t used it or worn it for years or it still has the original labels and tags attached, it’s time to chuck it, even if you feel an attachment to it.

Start to self-love and self-praise: tell yourself you’re doing your best. Then nothing is impossible.

Saving things ‘for best’

How many times have we all used the phrase, ‘save it for best’, whether it’s fancy underwear, expensive shoes, a posh dress or the finest champagne flutes? And how do you know when ‘best’ actually is?

I’ve seen so many items in people’s homes, especially designer handbags, shoes, belts and clothes, that don’t get used or worn on a regular basis because they are being ‘saved for best’. And when I ask my clients what that actually means, their answers usually focus on the items’ cost.

When we’re out shopping for ‘best’ items, we get excited about the whole experience: the location, the styling of the store, the service, the wrapping, handing over the money and the luxurious branded bag. These are all part of the company’s plan to make us feel special and to enjoy our new ‘best’ item. However, once we bring it safely home, it all too often gets stored in a bag on a shelf in our wardrobe. Out of sight and out of mind.

Change this next time you treat yourself to something special: gaze at it and smile … you’ve had a wonderful experience and now it’s time to enjoy your purchase and show it off to the world. Every day should be your ‘best’ day, so use the good stuff you’ve worked hard for; have fun and enjoy wearing or using it to the full. As Kate, one of my clients, put it:

It’s OK to have a wobbly day

None of us is immune to a wobble – even TGCO has the odd moment. Life is full of highs and lows, but a wobbly day doesn’t mean you’re going down again. On the contrary: it’s just a wobbly day and they happen to us all from time to time – you’re not alone. Talking to someone (close friends and family can be very supportive), shedding a few tears or writing down how you feel can all help (as does my favourite – lemon meringue pie!). But try to keep things in perspective and remember what’s important, and things won’t seem so bad.

Don’t wait for a better today, make today better.

If you can’t allocate time every day to clean and tidy, don’t worry. Find a decluttering solution that works for you and your daily routine. For example, tackle the small, achievable tasks first before moving on to the more difficult or time-consuming ones. Working in this way, you’ll be able to tick more jobs off your to-do list and you’ll feel really good about yourself and the progress you’re making. You’ll be back in control and you’ll love living in your tidy home.

Talk to a Life Coach

A cluttered life often brings lots of debilitating and negative emotions, including stress, guilt, confusion, shame, anger and self-judgement. It’s disheartening if you feel like this every time you open the fridge, a cupboard or a drawer; or even when you look at your computer desktop or email inbox. We all live such busy lives and our mental load is hard enough to carry without these additional problems. In this chapter, I’ve made some of my own suggestions, but if you feel swamped and need help, talking to a life coach and working with them could make all the difference.

As Mary Meadows, an experienced life coach and NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) practitioner, says:

Decluttering a small area, whether it’s a cupboard, a drawer or just your handbag, will support your mental health by not only giving you a sense of accomplishment, which is so important, but also creating space inside your head – space to let the good stuff in.

And it really can be a life-changer, as one of my online followers, Jennifer, can testify: