Rula Sinara - The Marine's Return

“You too, huh?” she said, tracing her finger where the baby was nudging her. She had no idea if it was a boy or a girl. She still didn’t want to know. As undeniably real as her pregnancy was at the time of her ultrasound, somehow the more she learned about her baby— their baby—the more it hit home that Tony would never share the experience with her. That she was alone in this. That he’d died not even knowing she was pregnant. God, she hadn’t even realized herself. She’d assumed the light-headedness and nausea were due to being overwhelmed by all that had happened.

Her body jolted at the memory of the twenty-one-gun salute piercing the air at Tony’s funeral. The baby kicked back.

“I’m sorry,” she said, placing her palm against what looked like a tiny foot, until the little one calmed down. She pulled the end of her T-shirt down and dabbed her eyes, then took a deep breath. Was she being stupid? Was Taj right about getting a replacement? She had another OB-GYN appointment in Nairobi in just under two weeks. So far so good. Everyone was coaxing her to quit this job for the baby’s sake but she didn’t see it that way. This was home now. She needed to be here.

Man, it was hot today. She leaned her head back against the wall and pushed her side-swept, pixie-cut bangs off her forehead. She’d donated all twenty inches of her silky black locks before moving to Kenya.

She still wasn’t sure what had spurred her to cut it all off. On one hand, she’d wanted to help someone else since she had been feeling so helpless herself after Tony’s loss. But there had been practical reasons, too, given the rugged lifestyle she’d signed up for. And maybe subconsciously she’d been symbolically cutting ties to the past so that she could move forward to the future she and Tony had planned.

It was just her future, now. Hers and the baby’s.

What had she been thinking, falling for a marine? She’d reassured herself that he was a field hospital doctor, not a special missions guy. He’d been in Afghanistan to help the wounded, not to get wounded himself. Hospitals were supposed to have some level of protection. They weren’t supposed to be targets. But that hadn’t stopped him from being killed.

That attack had come from out of nowhere. Her throat tightened.

The baby did something akin to a summersault then lodged itself under her rib cage and stretched. Lexi let out a yelp and contorted sideways in her chair to try to accommodate the sudden move.

“You okay?” Jacey came running in but stopped and scrunched her face when she spotted Lexi. “Ew. That looks painful.”

“ Looks painful?” Lexi gasped and held another breath. “I don’t think I’m carrying a human child. I’m convinced he or she is part alien or antelope...make that giraffe.” She tried nudging the little one away from her ribs. It didn’t work.

“You look like an alien is about to pop out of you,” Jacey said, kneeling next to her and patting Lexi’s protrusion. “Like in that old horror movie.”

“Thanks. That’s so comforting. Especially since I avoid horror movies like the plague. Does feel like the baby is going to pop out, though. I seriously hope he or she knows that up isn’t the way out.”

Jacey plopped onto her bottom, laughing, and crossed her legs. The baby shifted to a more normal position and Lexi let out a breath of relief.

“See?” Jacey said. “She settles down when I laugh. It happened last time, too. I’m already a good Auntie Jacey.”

Jacey was right. Laughter seemed to calm the baby, while Lexi getting anxious and thinking about the past seemed to make the baby irritable.

“Why do you keep saying ‘she’?”

“Just a gut feeling. Plus, it’s easier than saying ‘he or she’ every time, and nicer than calling her ‘it.’ ‘It’ kind of emphasizes the creepy alien-with-human-host factor.”

“Got it, Auntie . Promise me your bedtime stories will conjure up less freaky images in her mind.”

“You still sure you don’t want to spend the rest of your pregnancy in Nairobi before the rainy season hits? Or even head back to the US?”

“No. We’ve been through this. Plenty of people have raised kids out here and I’m not talking just the Masai and other tribes. You heard the story Hope told us about the vet who founded Busara. She raised her little girl out there when the camp was far, far more rustic than what we have here. And Mac and his wife have an adopted child and they live in a remote eco-camp. The point being, if others have done it, so can I.”

Mac Walker was a bush pilot originally from South Africa but who had lived in Kenya’s Serengeti region most of his adult life. He’d eventually become part owner of an eco-tourist camp—Camp Jamba-Walker—but still devoted flight hours to helping wildlife rescues and the Kenyan Wildlife Service with surveillance and reports of suspicious poaching activity in the area.

He was also a family friend of Dr. Hope and of Dr. Anna Bekker, the vet who’d founded the famous Busara Elephant Research and Rescue camp dedicated to rescuing baby elephants orphaned by poachers.

Mac had been instrumental in helping transport supplies to the clinic and he often flew Hope out. He’d also helped Lexi transition to the area during her initial weeks here. Even Taj hitched a ride with Mac whenever he could, to cut on commute time. Mac had a way of being everywhere and helping everyone.

“What if you end up with a complication in childbirth?” Jacey continued.

“You have a knack for putting things in such a reassuring way.” Lexi laughed. She knew Jacey meant well, though.

Lexi shifted back into a normal seated position and tugged her shirt over her belly. She was going to need something bigger very soon. Or perhaps she could get one of those giant shuka shawls the Masai wore and just drape it around herself. Come to think of it, maybe she should market the idea for maternity wear. “What if you stopped worrying so much? I go into Nairobi regularly for prenatal appointments and I take my vitamins. Heaven knows my diet out here with all the fruit, vegetables and whole grains is better than what I’d probably be eating if I had a grocery store around the corner. And between Hope coming out and you and Taj here, I’ll be fine. If a complication develops, I’ll head to the hospital. Promise.”

Truth was, she felt more comfortable out here giving birth naturally than in an overcrowded, underfunded hospital. And as illogical as she knew it to be, hospitals reminded her of death...of the last way she’d seen Tony. She needed to be as far away from that as possible.

“Fine. If you say so,” Jacey said, reknotting her hair at the base of her neck.

The grinding whir of a chopper broke up the chattering symphony of wildlife outside.

“Were we expecting Mac today?” Lexi asked, easing up from the chair and heading past Jacey.

Jacey stood and trotted after her. “Maybe it’s just KWS flying by.” The Kenyan Wildlife Service did pass over often enough, but they never sounded this close.

“Nope, it’s Mac.” Lexi shielded her eyes from the stab of late-afternoon sun and watched as Taj headed over to meet Mac.

Lexi and Jacey followed suit, waving as Mac got out of his chopper.

“You can only land here if you have ice cream on board,” Lexi called out.

Mac grinned and adjusted his cap.

“No luck, Lex. You should have warned me. How are you doing?” he asked, meeting them halfway.

“Excellent,” Lexi exaggerated. She appreciated all the concern but sometimes it got to be too much. It made her feel as if the pregnancy weakened her or made her more vulnerable. She didn’t like that idea. Plus, while she knew they meant well, she’d taken care of herself for so long she wasn’t comfortable with that much attention. She was self-sufficient and determined to be just fine. Why couldn’t everyone just stop worrying?