Anne O'Brien - The King's Sister

‘Quietly!’ a voice said in my ear.

‘I’ll not die quietly!’ I retorted, speech fast returning, as defiant as my brother, only then realising that Henry and I had been carefully separated from the rest of the prisoners.

‘Be silent!’ The same voice. The grip on my arm tightened even further. ‘If you draw attention, we’re lost.’

I whirled round, fury taking control in my mind, in my heart. ‘Take your filthy hands off me. I’m meat for no lawless rabble.’

‘They are filthy. But they are at your service, if you’ve the sense to accept it! Be still, girl!’ my captor snapped back.

And I saw that I knew him, and that we were surrounded by a small body of soldiers. My furious response died on my lips as he began to issue orders to his men.

‘Here, Ferrour! Take him!’ he ordered. ‘Hide him if you must. But keep him safe. At all costs.’ And Henry was snatched up and pushed into the arms of one of the soldiers who nodded and dragged him away.

‘Henry!’ I called, not understanding, now beyond fear. ‘In God’s name …!’

The hand on my arm shook me into obedience. ‘We must get the boy out of here or he’ll surely die. As Lancaster’s heir, this rabble will execute first and ask questions later.’

But I cried out, unable to take in what was happening. The horror of the past minutes had robbed me of all sense. ‘He is my brother. I can’t let him go.’

‘You must. Listen to me, Elizabeth.’ I tensed as his demand cut through my panic. He knew my name … ‘Elizabeth.’ An attempt to soften his voice. ‘Stop shrieking in my ear. And listen …’

‘Yes,’ I said, but without clear thought. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

‘It’s me, Elizabeth. John Holland. Look at me. You know me. Henry will be safe. Now we have to get you out of here. This is what you do. You go with these men …’

To my astonishment, in the midst of all the violence and squalor around us, he grabbed at my hand, lifting it briskly to his lips in a beautifully punctilious salutation as if I were some court lady, not the bedraggled figure I knew myself to be. My gaze snapped to his, and for the moment it took to draw a breath, our eyes held, before his moved slowly over me, from my head to my feet. I could sense him taking in my ruined skirts, my hair tumbled down my back, then as his gaze focused, he seized my hand and lifted my arm.

‘Is it your blood?’

I looked with surprise as he pushed back my sleeve, where it had been wrenched apart, to reveal a short but deep scratch above my wrist. I had not been aware, and the blood had now dried. I had not even felt it in the heat of the moment.

Abruptly he allowed me to go free.

‘Get one of my mother’s women to tend it for you. It would be a tragedy if you were scarred. Now go. And fast, or I’ll use the flat of my sword to encourage you.’

I fled with my escort, to be thrust ignominiously into Princess Joan’s barge, the impression of his kiss still viable against my skin. My first meeting of any tangible quality with John Holland. He had undoubtedly saved me from violent, terrible death.

He had done more than that.

This man’s reputation was not merely one of military prowess, for Sir John had a name for attacking the defences of beautiful women, and with great success. His striking features won him the laurels, and not all on the battlefield or at the tournament. There was one particular rumour of a torrid affair that set the court about its ears. He had no reticence in casting his net as high as he liked when persuading a lovely woman to his bed.

Yet this did not stop him from being the knight whose vivid, volatile features I could summon into my mind as accurately as I could see my own in my looking glass, the dark-haired man who invaded my thoughts and my dreams.

What would it be like, I pondered, if he would see me as a woman rather than a child? What would it be like to dance with such a man, our bodies moving in unison or counterpoint? What would it be like to flirt, to spar verbally, discovering some understanding that would touch both heart and mind? To converse about something of more consequence than a hunting hound? Even now, it might be my avowed intention to remain a virgin bride until Jonty was ready to put that to rights, rather than a boy rolling in the dust in a wrestling match with his peers, but I thought I would enjoy the company and esteem of a knight who was a man, and talented withal.

And here he was, bowing with extravagant grace, and with a gallant turn of his wrist inviting me to join him as if he had no recall of me in an extremity of pure terror, of which I was not proud.

‘Will you dance, my lady?’

I loved dancing. Being adept at every complicated step and simple procession it was on my lips to leap at the opportunity, for this was the carole that I particularly enjoyed. Then I decided that I really had no wish to dance, or not yet, knowing full well how impossible it was to hold a conversation when one’s partner was hopping at some distance. Here was a man who stirred my blood. Here was a man I wished to talk with.

A man I wished to impress?

But of course, I admitted as into my mind came the image of how he had seen me last. Frightened, blood-smeared and filthy. I wanted him to see me as I was now: finely clad, in command of my senses and my conversation, adept in the fine art of courtly love. I had been woefully ignorant, but five months at court had done much for my education. Recalling his final flamboyant gesture of a courtly kiss, I wanted to see if it had been a mere passing gesture in the enhanced emotions of the moment. Or perhaps John Holland might be persuaded to repeat the experience.

Despite my eagerness, however, I would take utmost care. There would be no scandal attached to my blood and proud name. I knew all about his reputation, more now since I had gossiped during the wedding celebrations. I was not the only woman to have an interest in John Holland—even now eyes were following his every move—but I determined to hide it better than some.

‘Well?’ he asked, brows flattening into a black bar when I hesitated far too long for polite refusal. ‘I didn’t think my invitation to dance would call for such deep contemplation. Unless you have no energy for it, you being so advanced in years.’ His face remained grave. ‘Or perhaps you have taken a dislike of me, in the manner of any capricious woman.’

‘No, Sir John, not being capricious I have not taken you in dislike,’ I replied promptly now, ‘although I might if you frown at me.’ Knowing full well that he was mocking me, I placed my fingers on his arm, walking with him as if I would allow him to lead me into the newly forming circle. ‘Is it possible for you to dance in those?’ I gestured to his hazardous footwear.

‘Assuredly, lady. If you can manage the bolt of cloth in that ostentatious garment you’re wearing without tripping over it.’

I smiled pityingly, for who was he to point the finger? Used as I was to brother Henry’s taste in ostentation—was he not even now enveloped in gold damask and gold lions? —here beside me was lavish resplendence. John Holland’s formal calf-length houppelande, dagged and heavily trimmed with silk at hem and neck, the blood-red of its hue not a colour that flattered many, swirled and fell into heavy folds. As he moved the burden of expensive perfume—something foreign and costly such as the heady note of ambergris, I thought—surprised me, teasing at my senses. It would be no easy task for him to caper with dexterity, but I was in no doubt that he could. Determined to give no sign of any appreciation of this vision who had sought my company, I replied with comparable solemnity.

‘Then I fear that you must find another partner, Sir John. I find that I do not wish to dance after all.’