Barbara McMahon - French Escape

But she’d misread the situation. Matt had turned away and the moment had been lost. Not that she forgot it. Doing her best to keep her distance the rest of the day, she still felt an awareness that bordered on the edge of obsession. He was the perfect tall, dark and handsome man romance novels so loved. His body was honed to perfection. His smile didn’t reach his eyes, but still had the ability to stir her heart.

“Which is foolishness,” she said aloud, to Rene’s confusion.

“Pardon?”

“Rien.” Shaking her head, she went to prepare a pitcher of lemonade and then to sit on the veranda. She’d enjoy the rest of the day no matter what! Alexandre would probably sleep till dinnertime, which was good, so he would keep awake for the fireworks. Softly she sighed as she looked across the beach to the sea. Spending the evening on the veranda and watching the pyrotechnics from the comfort of the inn was the perfect way to end the day. The fireworks were shot over the water, so the veranda offered a perfect vantage point. Since she had taken over running the inn, Jeanne-Marie had invited all her guests as well.

It was a nice tradition, she thought, and kept the memories of Phillipe alive.

It had taken a while, but now she knew she wouldn’t fall apart if she remembered happy times with him. More often than not, now she was angry at his taking foolish risks and leaving her and Alexandre behind. She knew her loss and his couldn’t be measured by how or why. Only the aching emptiness where love once flourished.

She felt restless, and sitting still had all sorts of thoughts crowding her mind. Ones she didn’t want. Again her thoughts went to Matthieu Sommer.

This had to stop.

She popped in to tell Rene she was going for a walk and would be back soon.

Stepping off onto the sand, Jeanne-Marie took off her sandals and looped them through her fingers, heading directly to the sea and the packed sand where the water kissed the shore.

Then, as if unable to stop herself, she turned to walk toward Les Calanques. It wasn’t that she expected to run into Matt on his return, but if she did, then they could talk as they walked back to the inn.

She studied the crags and cliffs ahead of her. How Phillipe had loved them for the short climbs he could take on weekends. And she’d enjoyed spending time with his grandfather while they waited for him to return.

Yesterday had been amazing. She’d actually climbed a cliff. Granted, it wasn’t very high or steep, but it was more than she’d ever done before. And Alexandre had loved it. He’d talked about it all last night. And had regaled Pierre today when they were watching the parade.

She knew Alexandre wanted to climb mountains one day. She hoped he’d outgrow the idea. But if not, could she stop him? She didn’t want to coddle him. But the thought of him scaling a sheer face of rock had her almost in a panic. She wanted him to be proud of his father. Yet she didn’t want him to necessarily follow entirely in Phillipe’s footsteps.

By the time she reached the rocky area that led to the base of the cliffs, Jeanne-Marie knew she had to turn around. She needed to be home when Alexandre awoke. Just as she was about to turn, she saw Matt in the distance, gazing out to the sea. She stopped. Her inclination was to continue until she reached him. But he looked so intent, she didn’t know if she should intrude.

She watched for a long time. Giving into temptation, she scrambled over the rocks and found the faint path at the base of the cliffs. Following it, she would reach him in no time. Then what would she say?

He saw her and turned to walk toward her.

“Out for a walk?” he asked when he was close enough to be heard.

“Alexandre’s sleeping, so I thought I’d have a bit of time to myself.”

“Ah, then I’ll leave you to your walk.”

“No. That’s okay. I’m ready to head back. You looked like you were lost in thought gazing out at the sea.”

“I was thinking about sailing around the world.”

“Oh, wow, that’s ambitious. I didn’t know you sailed.”

“A totally unrealistic thought since I’ve never sailed by myself. I think I’d like a competent crew and big boat that could handle anything the sea throws at us. Then maybe.”

“Have you done any long distance sailing?”

“Around the Med a few summers ago as part of a crew. But my father was living then and in charge of the winery. Now, it falls primarily to me. The appeal of being on the water would be the total lack of communication. And that’s unreal—decisions have to be made, plans implemented.”

“So work up to a sabbatical like professors have,” she said, falling into step with him.

“Hmm. In the meantime, climbing’s a strong leader for most desired escape.”

She laughed. “What happened to quiet, safe hobbies like stamp collecting or photography?” She felt almost giddy around him.

He tilted his head slightly. “I might consider taking a picture from the top of a climb.”

“If the camera didn’t get banged up on the way.”

“Never happen.”

“Have you ever fallen?” she asked.

“Slipped a few times. No harm done.”

“That’s a blessing.”

“Not all climbers fall,” he said.

“I know that. But there have to be less scary hobbies.”

“Sure, but what could compare?”

“Travel, for one.”

“Where would you like to travel?” he asked.

“London,” she answered promptly.

“And what’s there?”

“Everything. From Westminster Abbey to the London Eye.”

“Would you be brave enough to ride in it?” he asked.

“Hey, I’m adventuresome. I came to France from America, didn’t I? I climbed a cliff yesterday. I imagine the view from the top of the Eye would be spectacular.”

“Probably. The view from the top of the cliffs is spectacular. I’d hardly call what you scaled yesterday a cliff.”

The teasing tone in his voice startled her. She looked at him suspiciously.

“Are you making fun of me?”

“No.” But his lips twitched.

She remembered the grin he’d given her yesterday when she’d complained about the strain on her arms and legs. It would be worth being mocked to see him laugh.

The walk back took far less time than she expected. Alexandre was playing on the veranda and jumped up to run to her when he saw her.

“I’d like to take you and your son to dinner,” Matt said just before the child reached them.

“What? You don’t have to take us to dinner,” she said quickly. Her interest couldn’t be that blatant, could it?

“If you knew me better, you’d know I rarely do things I don’t wish to. It would be a … a good ending to the day,” Matt said as if choosing his words carefully.

“Mama, where were you? Rene said you’d be back but you’ve been gone a long time,” Alexandre said when he reached her.

“I went for a walk. I thought you’d still be asleep. Now I’m back. Matt asked to take us out to dinner. Won’t that be fun?”

“Shall we leave in about a half hour? That’ll give me time to clean up a bit.”

Jeanne-Marie nodded. She wanted to clean up a bit herself.

Once in her room, she debated what to wear. She loved the way her blue dress fit and showed off her figure. But was it too much when she’d been wearing khakis all day? Maybe the pink top, which gave color to her cheeks. She stared at herself in the mirror for a long moment. Who was that staring back? A widow living without her husband. A mother who loved her son.

But, just maybe, a woman on the brink of something different. Would it be wonderful or end up leaving her mourning what could never be? Funny, she hadn’t thought about making a life with any other man. She’d loved Phillipe. She was trying to make her life what she thought he would have wanted. But he was gone. Maybe it was time to look for other ways to spend the future. Alexandre wouldn’t be with her forever. He would grow up, go off to college and marry. He could live on another continent as she did, so far from where she grew up.