Jessica Keller - Apple Orchard Bride

A part of him really wanted to open up his arms and offer her a hug, but she wouldn’t accept that. At least, he was pretty sure she wouldn’t and wasn’t brave enough to try without knowing he wouldn’t get shot down.

“Completely. You can say anything around me—you know that. We always functioned with the umbrella. What’d we call it?” He squinted, looking at her for the answer.

She sighed, and the tiniest trace of a smile pulled at her lips. “The Umbrella of Grace. Whenever we wanted to say something blunt or hard, we’d pretend to open an umbrella and both stand under it and call it the Umbrella of Grace. We could say whatever we wanted without judgment.”

“As long as the umbrella was up.” Warmth spread across his chest. How had he forgotten about that? More important, what else had he forgotten when it came to their friendship? He’d blocked most of it out when he left for college, too aware that if he held on to those memories, relived them, it would make him miss things he couldn’t have.

But was it possible for him and Jenna to pretend? To act like they did in the old days? As if life could exist simply on the orchard, and they could forget failures and pressure from the outside world? If Toby was excellent at anything, it was pretending.

Toby wiped his hands off on his shirt, then pretended to click an umbrella open and duck under it. “Want to come under here with me?”

She braced her free hand on the counter. “Those days are over. You and I both know that.” Her voice shook.

He dropped his hands from his imaginary umbrella. Why didn’t she trust him? “Jenna? What happened? What—?”

“I should go check on my dad.” She set down her knife and made to leave.

“Hey, stay.” Toby caught her arm and gently let his hand slide down to encircle her wrist. “Stay with me.”

She focused on where his fingers wrapped around her. For a moment, he thought she was going to shove away from him. Instead she studied his hand as if she were a scientist looking through a microscope at a new life-form.

Toby playfully swung her arm between them. “You okay?”

“That.” She licked her lips. “You grabbing me. It should bother me. Why doesn’t it bother me?”

He didn’t understand what she meant, but he was glad she wasn’t upset with him. Toby took a deep breath. “Tell me about your dad. That’s where we started before the conversation got derailed.”

She twisted to lean against the counter, lightly pulling out of his hold. “He has trouble sleeping. His hands tremble. Six months ago, I didn’t know much about MS, and now I feel like I’m an encyclopedia for it.”

“I’m sorry.” That her dad had an illness. That she was the only family he had, the only one who could shoulder taking care of him long-term. That she’d be alone someday after her dad passed. That her life had been upended by it all.

He was sorry for all of it. But he didn’t have to explain. She got it.

“He was diagnosed seven years ago.” Her shoulders sagged. “He kept that from me. From everyone. If he had told me when he started feeling bad, I would have left school. I could have left before my sophomore year. Before...” Her gaze sought his, desperate for encouragement. “He was suffering quietly that whole time, and I missed it. How did I miss it?”

“Hey.” He clamped his hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle shake. “Don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault. Nothing you did or didn’t do caused this or made it worse. You have to believe that, or else questioning it will eat you alive.”

“You were so young.” She looked at the ground. “With Ben.”

Even fifteen years later, he couldn’t talk about Ben. Didn’t want to. Not even with Jenna.

Toby’s arm slacked. “Don’t worry about the motorized wheelchair. I get what it means to you...why it’s such a hard thing. But I’ll help. I’ll build a ramp into the house this weekend.”

Jenna’s eyes went wide. “I didn’t even think about that. I should probably move his bedroom downstairs, too.”

Toby mapped out their farmhouse in his mind. “Yes, the bedroom can go into his office. That’s a great idea.”

“And we’ll move out the rugs and install some handrails.” The first real smile lit up her face. It brought life to her blue eyes, along with the excitement and freedom he was used to seeing there. He’d counted on these expressions from her. She was his beacon of hope, his best friend. Back again. If only for the span of a few heartbeats.

Toby’s heart twisted. He’d do anything to get her to smile more around him. “We’ll make that place safe for him.”

“Thank you.” She eased away from the counter. “I really should head in and check on him. I’ll talk to him about moving his room downstairs.”

“I’ll finish the cider and head back out to the orchard.” He jerked his head in the direction of the tree line. “It looks like there’s going to be a great harvest. You’ve worked hard here, all on your own. You’re a strong woman, Jenna. I hope you know that.”

She tossed down the dishrag and muttered, “If only that was true.”

He opened his mouth to argue with her, but Jenna headed toward the door. She glanced over her shoulder as she exited. “Bring the cider to dinner. You’re welcome to join us around five.”

“I’ll have Kasey.” He pushed his hands into his pockets.

“Kasey’s welcome, too. I want to meet her.”

“Then we’ll be there.”

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