Barb Han - Texas-Sized Trouble

“We had plans, and besides, he would’ve told me,” she said.

“You sure about that? Even people you think you know can shock the hell out of you.” Ryder’s tense, aggressive posture would strike fear in any reasonable person. She knew him well enough to know that he would never do anything to hurt her.

Faith told herself nothing mattered more than getting his agreement to help find Nicholas. And she was making gains on that front; she could tell by how bunched his face muscles looked and the tic over his left eye—all positive signs she was making headway. He was in conflict with himself and that was a good thing for her. The very fact that he’d agreed to discuss the matter privately was her first real step in the right direction. She could put up with his intense scrutiny if it meant gaining his agreement to find her brother.

“As sure as I can be. We’re close. I’ve been checking on him ever since I found out about him, so around kindergarten, and he doesn’t have any other siblings. Well, none that he knows,” she said. “My brothers would never acknowledge him if they knew, and he’s so much better than they are anyway. I would do anything I could to keep them separate and make sure they had no influence over him.”

This wasn’t the time to recount all the shortcomings of McCabe men.

“Why do you know about him but your brothers don’t?” he asked. It was a fair question.

“I spent summers working for my dad. I was being groomed for the family business and my job was learning the paperwork. I don’t have to tell you how much running a ranch is about dealing with stacks of documents. Legal papers were on my dad’s desk. I guess they got mixed up with a stack of bills. He was being sued for child support by Nicholas’s mother. You can imagine how that turned out. My dad got himself out of paying. Actually his lawyers did. So I’ve been sneaking money to Nicholas for the past ten years.”

“How do you know he’s your blood relative?” he asked.

She retrieved her cell phone from her purse and then scrolled through pictures, stopping at a recent one of her and Nicholas together. She held out her phone to Ryder so he could see.

“There’s no denying the resemblance,” he said, studying the likeness.

“He looks like a mini, younger version of Jason, only he’s nicer.” Jason was the youngest of her three brothers and her senior by four years. He’d been the toughest, too, having spent his life proving to his two older brothers, Jesse and Jimmy, that he could hold his own.

“I’ve learned not to trust the actions of any McCabe,” Ryder said flatly. He was obviously referring to her walking out and the pregnancy news.

She had that coming.

Glancing down at her stomach, she said, “I didn’t do this alone.”

Ryder made a face like he was about to say something hateful and seemed to think better of it, when he pressed his lips into a thin line instead.

“It’s probably for the best if we stick to the reason we’re here. For now,” Ryder said. Those last two words came out as a warning she knew better than to disregard.

“Fine.” She had no doubt the two of them would be doing a lot of talking about the future of their baby once the dust settled. A very large part of her had been dreading the inevitable conversation with him for months now and yet another side couldn’t deny that she wanted to involve Ryder. The first trimester had been too much about trying to keep food down to worry about what she would say to him. Who knew morning sickness actually meant throwing up all day? Her queasiness had finally let up a couple of weeks ago and she’d been trying to plan out her words ever since. She’d tried to convince herself that it would be a good idea to leave town without ever telling Ryder. She knew in her heart that she could never do that to him. No matter how strong the arguments against it waged inside her head, he had a right to know.

Ryder pulled a chair from the kitchenette, turned it around backward and straddled it opposite the coffee table. “Tell me what really has you so worried.”

“Nicholas might be a McCabe but he’s nothing like the boys in my family, despite having a worthless mother. He’s fifteen and plays on the school soccer team. His grades are good. He’s always talking about a future, getting a scholarship, going to college,” she said, probably more defensively than she’d intended. “He’s a decent kid, Ryder.”

“If that were completely true, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” Ryder had a way of looking right through her. She worried he’d see her fear while she was trying to put up a brave front.

“That’s why none of this makes sense. He wouldn’t just disappear like that. He’s not that kind of kid.”

Ryder’s look of disbelief struck a bad chord.

“I know you can’t stand my family and you may never trust me again, but I know Nicholas wouldn’t up and disappear without telling me,” she said, hating the defensiveness in her tone. Ryder’s not believing her hurt more than it should.

“What else do you know about his life besides what I could read on a college application? Have you met any of his friends?” Ryder asked.

“We kept our relationship secret. So, no,” she said honestly.

“Seems you’re full of deceptions,” he shot back. “I’m guessing that’s why I never heard about him before.”

Her first instinct was to fight back. She let that zinger go for the sake of her little brother, even though it scored a direct hit. Common sense said that arguing with Ryder wouldn’t get her what she needed. Besides, a little piece of her knew that Ryder had every right to be upset with her and he was still reacting to the bomb she’d dropped on him. She should’ve gone to him with the news or given him a better reason for the breakup, instead of chickening out while she was waiting for him so they could talk and deciding to scribble her exit on the only thing she had in her purse, a Post-it.

“My father went to great lengths to cover up his relationship with Nicholas’s mother. I thought he might dish out repercussions against the two of them if he knew I was seeing my brother. That’s the reason for the deception. I couldn’t risk telling anyone. Not even you,” she said.

“He would’ve been angry with you, too. Are you sure you weren’t protecting yourself?” Ryder said in that unnerving steady tone.

“I don’t care what happens to me,” she retorted. “Or at least I didn’t until now.” She touched her belly.

“What about your mom?”

“I was fairly sure she had no idea about Nicholas. But she’s been acting stranger than usual lately. Jumpy. But that could just be a change in her anxiety medication.”

“Self-preservation seems to be a genetic survival trait in McCabe women,” he said in a low enough voice that she could still hear it.

She chose not to respond.

“What are you really afraid Nicholas got himself into?” Ryder asked.

She shot him a grateful look for the change in subject. “He wouldn’t stand me up without a good reason, and he always responds to my texts. I’m afraid for him, Ryder.”

“Could he have a recreational drinking or drug habit?”

“No.” Her shoulders slumped forward. “He has a good head on his shoulders. He’s a decent person despite bad circumstances.”

* * *

RYDER COULDN’T HELP but notice how many times Faith had mentioned that her little brother was a decent kid. Was she trying to convince him, or herself? As much as he doubted any McCabe son could be good, he would give Faith the benefit of the doubt. His trust was an entirely different story.

If he was going to help—and there was no refusing now that he knew she was possibly pregnant with his child and there was the slightest chance of foul play—he needed more information. Besides, the faster he could help her find Nicholas, the sooner he’d be able to focus on what he really wanted to know more about—the baby she was carrying.