Brenda Novak - Finding Our Forever

Disgruntled that this man she’d barely met would jump to conclusions based on her age and gender, and start to advocate against her, Cora finished her punch, dropped the paper cup in the wastebasket and left the library. Her phone kept vibrating in her pocket anyway, making her feel as if someone really needed to reach her.

When she got outside and felt she could check, caller ID indicated it was her father.

Gazing up at more stars than she’d ever seen in the sky before, she wandered around the campus as she spoke to him. Most of the students were away, at home if they had a home to go to, for a quick holiday before classes started in earnest, so the campus was quiet, especially this far from the outdoor basketball courts and the dorms.

“So are you going to like it there?” her father asked.

She tried to let the energy in his voice help lift the depression that had set in. “It’s definitely going to be a change.”

“A positive one, though, right?”

“Sure,” she said, kicking a small pebble across the sidewalk.

“Whoa. Is something wrong?”

“It’s just different, that’s all. I’m not used to smelling manure at night. Or seeing stars that shine so bright.”

“The manure can’t be pleasant, but the stars sound nice.”

“They are nice. And the manure isn’t all that bad, not if I stay away from the livestock pens. I guess it’s more that... I’m beginning to wonder what made me think I could handle teenage boys who have significant behavioral issues.” She’d mostly been thinking of her own emotional issues, not the responsibility she would feel to be a guiding light to teenage boys who’d lost their way. Was she bound to disappoint Aiyana and Elijah and let her students down?

She couldn’t abide the thought of failure.

“Don’t make it too complicated, babe,” her father said.

“In what way?”

“Everyone responds to love.”

“I have to do more than love them, Dad. I have to teach them. And what if they won’t let me?”

“If you love them, they’ll trust you. Love and trust come first. Then you’ll be able to teach. I promise you.”

She thought of Gary Seton. Maybe he had no “vision,” whatever Elijah meant by that. But she was willing to bet he’d be firmer when it came to meting out discipline. She didn’t want to punish anyone. “I’m not sure why these people hired me,” she grumbled.

“They must’ve seen what your mother and I see in you.”

“And that is...”

“You can do anything.”

Tears filled her eyes. She was tired, which made her emotional. But she was also experiencing a little culture shock, and she missed her family already. “Maybe I was a bit hasty making the decision to come here, Dad.”

“It’s only for a year, honey. Do your best. That’s all anyone can ask. And come see us when you can.”

She wiped her cheeks as she told him she loved him. But she felt even worse after she disconnected. She had good parents. The conversation she’d just had with her father proved it yet again. So why was she betraying them?

* * *

The moment she got back to her cottage, Cora went straight to bed. She had a lot of unpacking yet to do, but she figured that could wait. She needed sleep, knew it would help her cope with all the recent changes—as well as the uncertainty.

Fortunately, she felt a lot better when she woke up. She spent the morning unpacking the rest of her belongings and stacking the cardboard from the boxes in her SUV so she could take it to a recycling center. Then she decided to go into town to look around, have lunch and buy a few groceries. Someone—she guessed Aiyana since Aiyana had also been responsible for the flowers—had put a few essentials, like eggs, bread and milk, in her fridge, but the cupboards needed to be stocked.

Cora was halfway to town when she saw a man on horseback galloping down a dirt road off to her right. She would’ve thought nothing of it—she could only see the rider from the back as he wove in and out of the trees between them—but she recognized the man. It was Elijah Turner!

She pulled over and angled her head to see through the passenger window, trying to get a better look. He was something else. A puzzle. What drove him? What did he want out of life? Had he put the past behind him? How did he feel about the boys who came to the ranch? Did he see himself in each one? Where were the people who’d abused him? Did he have any contact with them? Was his work enough to fulfill him? Or was he seeing someone?

Maybe he was dating around...

Cora was also curious to learn how he’d gotten that scar on his face—but equally afraid to find out. What she’d read about him scared her. She didn’t want to imagine him going through any more pain and suffering than what she’d been forced to imagine when she’d read that article about him. She wondered if other people had the same reaction—if they shied away from him for fear they might have to walk into that darkness.

Movement behind him caught her eye, and she realized that he wasn’t alone. He had three boys with him. It looked as though he was taking some New Horizons students out for a ride...

She glanced into her backseat. She had her camera, had brought it to take some pictures of Silver Springs she could send to Jill and her family. She still planned to do that, but her fingers itched to take a few shots of him and those boys first. She’d never seen a man sit so comfortably in the saddle as Elijah. And she loved the way he kept looking back at the boys, like a mother hen checking her chicks.

This wasn’t about admiring Aiyana’s adopted son so much as it was about the symbolism she saw here, she told herself as she cut the engine. He represented a man who’d not only survived tremendous difficulty but risen above it. Someone who’d conquered his demons. And now he was helping others battle theirs. There was a great deal of artistic beauty in that, and she had to capture it.

She couldn’t get a clear shot from the roadside, however. There were too many trees in between.

After hiking down the embankment, she wove through the forest to get close enough. Luckily for her, or she never would’ve caught up with them, Elijah and the boys had stopped and were laughing and talking while drinking from a canteen Eli passed around.

She fastened her heavy telephoto lens to the expensive camera her parents had given her for Christmas last year and clicked away, using a fast shutter speed so that the pictures wouldn’t turn out blurry. In one picture, she captured Elijah laughing. She’d never seen him smile, not so easily. He was in his element out here, and he cared about the boys he was with. Those two things were readily apparent; she could see it in both his body language and his expression.

Cora was disappointed when he put the lid on the canteen, slung it over his body, where he’d been carrying it before, and charged up the next hill, making it impossible for her to get any more pictures of him.

As the boys whooped and hollered in their efforts to keep up with him, she hiked back to her car. They were having a blast. She could easily imagine any problem they had disappearing while they were out enjoying the beautiful scenery and the equally beautiful weather.

Witnessing the impact Elijah was having on the students at the ranch—by taking enough interest to guide them on a ride even during their “off” period—inspired her. He was embracing the spirit of his job. Like Aiyana, he was doing it for the right reasons. And so could she. She had a lot of love to give. Who needed it more than abused, neglected and angry teens?

How are you doing today?

Her father’s text came in just before Cora started her car. Better, she wrote.

Because...