Marilyn Pappano - Killer Secrets

When Ruben turned the old pickup onto her block, he glanced her way. “Huh.”

She looked at him, then ahead. A white pickup truck with police department markings was parked across the street from her house. Chief Douglas. Huh, indeed.

Her mouth went dry, her stomach clenching hard. Did he have more questions? Pretty much everyone involved with a murder was looked at closely. Had they looked at her? Had they found out that Milagro Ramirez had formed out of thin air fifteen years ago, that before then she hadn’t existed? Did they wonder what she was hiding and if it had anything to do with the dead man she’d discovered?

Ruben pulled up to the curb opposite the police chief. She got out of the pickup, holding the door so Alejandro could move from the back seat to the front. Before letting go, she managed an action that was more grimace than smile and said, “Thanks, Ruben. Goodbye.” She didn’t look to see if all three men were staring at her. She’d never said thank you, goodbye, hello or anything else voluntary to them.

No wonder they were never chatty with her.

She wanted to go straight inside her house and lock the door, but it would be futile. If Douglas could be put off that easily, he wouldn’t be police chief. With a deep breath to control the queasiness in her stomach, she turned to face his truck. The engine was shut off, the windows rolled down to let in the stifling heat, stirred only by the occasional rustle of wind. The sun was at just the right angle to shine in the driver’s side window, making the cab significantly warmer than the outside air, enough to make sweat glisten on his forehead.

It wasn’t a bad look on him.

He got out, closing the door with a thud, and crossed the street to join her.

“You should have waited on the porch. At least you would have had shade and a breeze,” she said, not realizing until after she’d spoken that a greeting of some sort would have been polite.

Being polite had never been one of her goals, regretfully. Not being noticed had always been far more important to her—and to her survival.

“I would have, but my going on the porch and knocking on the door made your dog crazy. I figured if I didn’t go away, he was going to come right through the door.”

“She,” Mila corrected automatically as she opened the gate, then led the way to the porch. “Poppy is excitable.”

“To say the least. What breed is she?”

“Mostly yellow Lab. Maybe something wiry. She lives in a perpetual bad-hair day.” At the top of the steps, she stopped. Poppy’s barks demanded attention, but Mila didn’t yet know why the police chief was here, and she didn’t want to invite him into her house. No one but Gramma had been inside in the three years she’d lived there, and there were things in there she preferred no one else saw.

Awkwardly, she faced him again. He’d stopped one step below her, putting them on eye level and much closer than she’d expected. He still had that undeniable air of authority about him...and he was still handsome. His eyes were as blue as she’d remembered, his mouth as full of promise, and without crease marks from his hat, his hair looked soft and smooth, though shorter than she usually liked.

Hmm. She hadn’t realized she had a preference in men’s hairstyles.

He smelled faintly of sweat and sunshine and cologne, reminding her that she smelled like a rotting garbage heap under the fires of hell and didn’t look much better. Her clothes were soaked and stinky, and her face was dirty and baked dry. It felt as if too much expression might actually crack her skin. This wasn’t a bad time to wish, for the ten thousandth time, for invisibility.

Poppy’s barks and bangs at the door were frantic, though not an indication of doggy emergency. She acted much the same when Mila came back from the bathroom or returned from getting the mail on the porch. She and Gramma were the only creatures in the whole world who were always happy to see Mila.

But Chief Douglas wasn’t here because he was happy to see her. He’d come about the body, or about information they’d found on her—or hadn’t found on her. It wasn’t a social call. Just police business, and she’d spent her life not getting involved in police business.

Scuffing her feet uncomfortably, she fixed her gaze on the flowers visible over the chief’s shoulder and politely—blankly might be a better description—asked, “Was there something you needed?”

Peripherally she caught a glimpse of his expression: friendly, sincere. No suspicion or doubt or accusations. “I wanted to see how you’re doing. Any problems last night or today?”

She blinked. Seriously? The chief of police was taking time from his day to see how she was coping with finding a body? Of course Gramma would check, and the crew going into the backyards with her had been their way of checking, but what kind of police officer did that? What kind of chief?

“I—I’m okay.” She confirmed the words with a shrug that felt jerky rather than assuring. With some sort of obligation pressing her, she went on. “I still see...you can’t unsee... But it’s—it’s all right.”

Did that sound as bad to him as it did to her? Embarrassment flushed her face, heat creeping down her throat. A man was dead, and no matter that she hadn’t known him, it wasn’t all right. She’d never known any of those women when she was a kid, and their deaths would never be all right.

But she felt responsible for their deaths. With Evan Carlyle, she’d just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Chief Douglas seemed to understand what she meant. When she sneaked a look, there was no censure in his eyes. “No problems sleeping? No nightmares?”

“A few.” She avoided his face and took another step back. She wasn’t lying, though it felt like a lie. She’d had two nightmares, waking soaked with sweat, Gramma at her side and Poppy resting her head on her thigh. But the nightmares hadn’t been about Carlyle. Seeing him had triggered them, but the faces in her dreams were women whose names she’d never known and the parents she wished she’d never known. If she’d been a regular person, finding Carlyle’s body would have been nothing more than a blip on her radar.

Poppy banged the door hard, and Mila gestured that way. “The baby really needs to go out. Do you mind...?”

She meant Can you say what you want and go? He interpreted it as Can you give me a moment, then we’ll talk? With an expansive gesture, he pointed toward the door. “Go ahead. I’ll wait here.”

Her breath grew tight again. She unlocked the door, then, out of habit, opened it just enough to slide through. Poppy had never met a stranger at the house before, and though Mila was pretty sure the sweet puppy didn’t have it in her to bite someone, she wasn’t so sure about knocking them to the ground and loving them to death.

“Hey, Poppy, baby,” she greeted, rubbing her hands over the dog’s ears and face and shoulders. “I know I’m late. Do you need to go out? Please need to go out because if you don’t, that means I’m gonna be finding puddles somewhere. Come on, sweetie. I’ll race you to the door.”

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