Katerina Diamond - The Promise

In a little over a year my life had been transformed. I had no family around me anymore and it seemed as though my friends were all moving in a different direction to me – it wasn’t until much later that I realised they just didn’t like him, they didn’t trust him. I wish someone had told me, had made me look at what I was getting into, but no one said anything. There was nothing to say, I suppose; for all intents and purposes, he was lovely. I couldn’t fault him – there was nothing to fault. He was generous and kind and he was always good to me. Until he wasn’t.

The toilets were empty when Selina walked in; she hurried into the stall and closed the door. They had a ten-minute break before the next lesson and she had a terrible stomach cramp. She held her breath as the exterior door opened and more people piled into the bathroom. The faint aroma of cigarettes, Impulse and hairspray in the air told her it was Pippa, Liza and Naomi. They ran the taps and she listened to them speak, imagining them reapplying the black lines to the corners of their eyes, curling their eyelashes and applying a rosy lip gloss. This was their bathroom ritual, it was how they managed to look preened at all hours of the day.

‘So, did he take you ALL the way home then?’ Naomi said, her raspy voice instantly recognisable.

‘A lady never tells!’ Pippa said.

‘Right, so what happened then?’ Liza’s deep and sultry tones were also easy to spot as she jibed Pippa.

‘Bitch,’ Pippa said and they all burst out laughing.

‘So, what did his dick look like?’ Naomi said quietly. The laughter continued.

‘Naomi!’ Pippa called out, indignant.

‘No! I mean is he like, circumcised? I heard all Americans do that shit. Is it weird? What’s it look like? Are you seeing him again?’

‘We’re hooking up at the weekend.’

Selina guessed they were talking about her new neighbour, Connor. His arrival at the school had caused quite a stir. Most of the kids in school all knew each other from primary or even nursery school – they were all from similar neighbourhoods, so when someone new came in all eyes were on them. Add to that the fact that Connor had an American accent and he was one of those typically chiselled sporty boys, there was no chance these girls weren’t going to get their hooks into him. She looked at her watch; it was almost time for class and she didn’t want to be late. She flushed the toilet and took a deep breath before exiting the cubicle to face the girls.

‘Have a good listen, Dildo?’ Pippa said.

‘You’re such a fucking freak,’ Naomi muttered.

Selina walked up to the sink and washed her hands. She could feel them all staring at her.

‘You should let me straighten your hair, you know, it would look so much better than that ratty mess,’ Liza said.

Selina pushed past them and out into the hall, finally exhaling properly. Since she had started at the secondary school, those three girls in particular had made her life hell. Having a surname like Dilley didn’t help, completely lending itself to the term Dildo, which had been her unofficial name since she had been twelve years old. It didn’t bother her as much as they probably hoped it did. She had much bigger things on her mind than those idiots.

Connor stood by the rugby pitch watching the rest of the class. He had been dreading his first sports lesson and for it to come just a couple of days after an argument with his father made him even more nervous. He liked to play sports, but he was worried about the changing rooms afterwards, aware that he had a lot of marks on his body, more than the usual teenager. He knew he could lie about where they came from, but he didn’t like the attention. He tried to stay in the moment and just focus on the game for now, trying to discern who the weaker players were. He already knew the rules, as his father had always made them watch matches together and so it wasn’t something he couldn’t pick up. It was strange not to be kitted out and protected, strange to just run on into danger. Connor liked the idea of it.

Mr Wallis, the P.E. teacher, blew the whistle and subbed Connor into the game. There were only a few minutes left, but he got the ball and ran hard with it, right into the fray. Within seconds, he was under a pile of guys. The whistle blew again.

‘Can I have a word, Connor?’ Mr Wallis called him over before shouting at the class. ‘Everyone back in formation. Start again.’

Connor ran to the teacher, slightly breathless, slightly out of practice. He had been kicked off the team a few months earlier at home and so his physical fitness was not as hot as usual. It wouldn’t take him long though, a bit of training and he would be back on top.

‘Yes, sir?’

‘You sure you’re up for this? You’ll have to unlearn a few things, and despite what you might think, it’s quite different to the football you’re used to, not harder – but different. Rugby is tougher in the sense that players play the ball continuously. But with American football, because of all the breaks, you get to play harder when the ball is in play. You’ll need to conserve energy at certain times with rugby. You don’t need to go full out every time you have the ball. You’ll learn soon enough, but if you play like that constantly you’re going to end up with some pretty nasty injuries in no time.’

‘I can handle it.’

‘I’m sure you think you can. But for now, humour me.’

‘OK, sir.’

Mr Wallis blew the whistle and the boys stopped playing immediately. They all rushed back towards the school building with much more enthusiasm than they had when playing rugby.

‘I read about some of your sporting achievements at your other school and we’re lucky to have you here. You just have to keep it together. We play rugby on Mondays and Fridays and then general games on a Thursday, until next term, and then we switch to football – or soccer as you might call it – for spring, then back to rugby in the summer term. We’re looking forward to seeing what you can do.’

‘Thank you, I’ll do my best.’

‘I’m sure you will. Now go get showered and changed.’

Connor grabbed his things and headed for the changing rooms. When he got in, all the other boys were out already and drying themselves off which was a relief as it meant he got to shower alone. One of the other boys in the class smiled at Connor as he opened his locker.

‘Hey, Connor.’

‘Hi …’ he replied.

‘It’s Neil. You did great out there, it’s good to have some fresh blood on the field. How did it feel without all that padded crap you guys wear?’

‘It felt pretty good.’ Connor was used to this kind of talk; he had heard it his whole life from his father.

‘Hey, I have my driving test soon. If I pass we’re all going out. Do you want to come?’

‘Sounds cool, sure.’

‘Great,’ Neil said, ‘I’ll let you know.’

Connor waited for Neil to turn his back and then slipped into the shower when he was sure no one was looking. He got under the water, the heat of the shower soothing against his bruises. They didn’t hurt as much as they should have because he was used to feeling bruised. The first few times it was much worse, but now, he could take it. This was the norm and maybe it was exactly what he deserved. Playing rugby would provide the perfect excuse for the large purple lesions left behind by the buckle on his father’s belt; it had pierced the skin as it always did, faded versions of the same marks mottled the rest of his body. There were several marks across his torso. It was the reason he threw himself into football back home. Because people just accept that you get bruised when you play sports. He never got asked any questions, not once.