Julia Justiss - Regency High Society Vol 4

“I love you, Michel,” she whispered drowsily afterward as she lay with her head pillowed against his chest. “Oh, how I love you.”

“Je t’aime, ma chère,” he said softly, marveling at the words he thought he’d never hear or speak. “Je t’aime tant, ma petite Rusa.”

But even as he still held her safe in his arms, the warmth was fading and his eyes were bleak, and though he’d give half his life for it to be otherwise, he knew that, for them, love alone would not be enough.

When the tide was low late that afternoon, Michel and Jerusa found they could wade to the rocks where the Swan had been wrecked. Despite Michel’s predictions, no one else had discovered the abandoned ship yet, and after they climbed up her slanted, broken side they found everything on board exactly as it had been left. While he retrieved the chest with his belongings from their cabin, she went one last time to the galley for a few things—a cooking pot, forks and spoons, sugar and tea—that would be useful to them on the island. But she didn’t linger, eager to return to Michel’s side and the cheerfulness of the sunny afternoon.

“It’s almost as if it’s haunted,” she said in a whisper when her hand was once again firmly in Michel’s. Even in the bright sun, to her the strange stillness of the wreck was more disturbing now than during the height of the storm.

“Perhaps it is, chérie.” Michel ran his hand lightly along the shattered remains of the mainmast. “If Captain Barker had lived, I doubt he would have let things come to this sorry pass.”

Jerusa shivered, remembering that the bodies of Barker and the other men who’d died early during the storm were most likely still on board. As for Hay and the others who’d abandoned the brig, there was no guessing if they’d survived the storm’s fury in the open boats. Strange to think of all the people who’d been aboard the Swan two days ago, congratulating themselves on such an easy passage with their destination so near, and now she and Michel were all that remained. Impulsively she slipped her arm around Michel’s waist and stretched up to kiss his cheek.

He glanced down at her and smiled fondly, brushing his fingers across her cheek. “Now what was the reason for that, eh?”

“Because I love you,” she said, strangely close to tears. “Because I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you in my life.”

“I’m the lucky one, Rusa,” he said softly, and as he kissed her, he, too, thought of how fragile life—and love—could be.

They decided they needed to wash the salt from their skin again, and with that excuse they returned to the pond and the soft bank of ferns and moss beside it. Afterward, for supper, they ate ham and biscuits with beach plum jam that had come from the Swan, and carambolas, a sweet, star-shaped fruit like apples that Michel found growing not far from the waterfall. They lay on the sand and counted the stars overhead until the fire they’d built burned low and Jerusa drowsed contentedly in Michel’s arms.

“I wish we could stay here forever,” she said sleepily, her eyes closed with contentment.

“So do I, ma mie,” he said, his voice filled with inexpressible sadness. “But as much as we wish it, we won’t have this beach to ourselves much longer. Look.”

Reluctantly she opened her eyes to look where he pointed. On the far edge of the horizon rode the pale triangle of a sail in the moonlight, and in silence they watched as it glided past them, finally to disappear.

With a sigh Jerusa moved closer to Michel. “There, they won’t bother us now.”

“They’ll be back,” said Michel. “Or others like them.” Gently he kissed her forehead, then eased himself free of her. He’d needed a reminder like that sail. Because he’d found such peace with her, he’d let himself be uncharacteristically lax about their safety. There were no guarantees that whoever finally rescued them would do so from kindness alone; in this part of the world, in fact, that would be the exception, not the rule.

And there was more than that, too, for soon they’d be in St-Pierre….

While she watched, he brought his sea chest into the fading circle of light from the fire. He pulled out the bag that held his money, a motley treasury of gold and silver coins stamped with the heads of English, Spanish, French and Dutch monarchs, counted out half and tied it into a bundle in a handkerchief.

“Take this, chérie,” he said brusquely as he handed it to her. “You may need it.”

Bewildered, she shook her head. “Whyever would I need that?”

“You may, that is all.” When she still didn’t take it, he set it beside her in the sand. “I’ll give you one of the pistols, too.”

“I don’t understand, Michel,” she said, searching his face for an answer. Was she imagining it, or did he seem suddenly colder, more distant? “The money, the pistol. Why would I need them when you’re with me?”

“Because I may not always be there,” he said, looking down at the pistol in his hand to avoid the fear in her eyes. “There’s always the chance that whoever finds us will want to take you with them, not me. Look at what happened on board the Swan, Rusa. You chose to stay with me, but what would have become of you if I’d died, or if the ship had sunk outright? No, ma chère. I want to know you’ll be safe, and this will help.”

“Michel, that makes no sense, no sense at all!” She sat up abruptly and shoved the handkerchief with the coins back toward him. “For weeks you’ve scarcely let me from your sight. You’ve always been there to protect me, whether I wanted you to or not. You gave me a new name, new clothes, a whole new life where who I’d been didn’t matter so much as who I am. But now that you’ve made love to me, you believe you can send me on my way with a handful of coins?”

He sat back on his heels, his palms on his thighs, and frowned at her, stunned that she would misunderstand so completely. “Jerusa, no. It’s because I love you that I care what becomes of you. These waters are still a haven for pirates, guardacostas, runaway slaves and navy deserters, rogues of every sort, and—”

“That has never bothered you before in the least!” she snapped. His callousness wounded her so deeply that she couldn’t accept it, and fought back instead, striving to hurt him with words the same way he was doing to her. “Or is it because you’re one of those selfsame rogues that you can know so well what they’ll do?”

He hadn’t expected that from her. He’d never tried to hide his history, but then, he’d never expected her to toss it back into his face like that, especially not after they’d spent most of the day making love.

“Things are different in these islands, Rusa,” he said carefully, trying to explain. “Your waters to the north are less dangerous.”

“Then why didn’t you simply leave me there in the first place?” She wrapped her arms around her body, an empty imitation of the embrace she suddenly feared she’d never feel again. “Why didn’t you leave just me where I was?”

“I couldn’t, ma chère,” he said softly. “I had to steal you. In Martinique—”

“Damn your Martinique!” she cried, anger and anguish melding to tear at his heart. “I know what you’re going to tell me. That my father will be there, and that you still intend to try to kill him, and you’d rather not have me there to be in your way. But what if he kills you, Michel? Have you considered that possibility? Have you considered what that would do to me, to lose you just as your mother lost your father?”