Sarah Morgan - Snow Crystal Trilogy

“Why did he leave? Why not just stay and run Snow Crystal right from the start?” She told herself that information on Jackson O’Neil was necessary for her job. It wasn’t because she had a personal interest and it definitely wasn’t because of the kiss.

“Michael would have liked him to stay, but Walter didn’t want him here. They clashed over it. Jackson found himself in the middle of that for a while, and then he went off to college and found his own path.” Elizabeth set a pretty china plate in front of Kayla. “It was the right thing to do. If he’d stayed here he never would have found out how high he could fly. And he flew high, as I always knew he would.”

Kayla heard the pride in her voice and wondered how it felt to be on the receiving end of that sort of love.

She’d given up telling either of her parents about her promotions and successes. Given up hoping they might be interested in anything she did.

“His father wanted him to stay?”

“Yes, but I think that was probably for selfish reasons,” Elizabeth admitted quietly. “Michael didn’t enjoy running this place. And Jackson was right to go. If he’d stayed, his wings would have been clipped by his father and his grandfather and those wings would have torn in the struggling.”

The vivid imagery made Kayla wince. “Ouch.”

“Eventually he might have resented them for holding him back, for standing in the way of him proving himself. He didn’t want something that someone else had created. He wanted to create something himself. He needed that.” Elizabeth passed Kayla a cookie. “They’re my cinnamon stars. At Christmas we package them up in pretty packages tied with bows. Try one.”

Kayla obliged, wondering if cooking was how Elizabeth filled the loneliness.

“Walter doesn’t agree with the changes Jackson has made?”

“Walter doesn’t understand why we would spend money when we’re losing it.” Elizabeth picked up a box of decorations. “I suppose I don’t understand that, either. But I trust Jackson. I need to sort through these decorations. Some of them need tender loving care. Some just won’t survive another year. Could you look through this one?” She pushed a box toward Kayla, who took it with all the enthusiasm of someone being passed a box of tarantulas.

It was just a few Christmas decorations. She could sort a few Christmas decorations without having a breakdown, surely?

Elizabeth smiled. “Why don’t you start hanging those.”

Kayla’s mouth felt dry. “You want me to hang them?”

“Of course. If you’re here with us over the holidays, the least we can do is let you share in our Christmas. I expect you have your own Christmas rituals. All families do.”

Kayla gripped the box. “We had a few.”

Put your stocking by the fire, Kayla. Let’s see what surprise Santa brings you .

There was a hollow, empty feeling in her stomach. She recognized the feeling because she’d lived with it for such a long time.

Loneliness could be felt at any time, of course, but there was something exquisitely painful about the loneliness that came along with Christmas.

She lifted a decoration from the box and stared at it.

A moment later it was gently removed from her hand.

“You don’t like this time of year, do you, dear?” It embarrassed and frustrated her that she still felt this way. That she hadn’t been able to put the past behind her and find the same joy in the holiday season that so many others did. “I find it difficult.”

The box was removed from her hand.

“Leave it. I’ll trim the tree later.”

“I’d like to do it.” She’d spent Christmas alone for the past decade. This time she was alone in the middle of a family. It couldn’t be worse, surely? “It’s been a while.”

“You don’t see your family at Christmas?”

Kayla hesitated and then the door opened, allowing a flurry of cold air into the living room along with Jackson. His collar was turned up against the winter cold, and he carried a large box in his arms.

Elizabeth gave Kayla’s arm a brief squeeze and walked toward him. “Is that the box we’ve been looking for?” Her voice gave no indication that he’d disturbed a conversation of significance, and Kayla was grateful for that. At the same time she wondered how much she would have said if they hadn’t been interrupted.

Jackson handed the box to his mother. “It was in the old barn tucked behind a stack of rusty machinery. I’m guessing Walter put it there after last Christmas.” Spying her rescuer, the puppy gave a yelp of ecstasy and shot across the living room, leaping on the spot to greet him.

Jackson scooped her up and made a fuss of her. “Sorry I took so long. After I found the box I only managed to walk three steps without being grabbed. Misbehaving boiler in cabin four, a leak in one of the lodge bedrooms and a child with a painful knee after a fall skiing.” He sprawled on the sofa and stretched out his legs. Maple snuggled onto his lap.

“I’ve been telling Kayla my life story.” Elizabeth picked up another box of decorations. “And she’s a good listener, unlike most of the folks around here. So where did you go this morning? I hope you took her somewhere nice.” She moved the conversation on and Kayla felt a flash of gratitude.

Jackson stroked Maple gently. “We went to the Chocolate Shack and the frozen waterfall.”

“Oh, that’s beautiful! Clever of you to show her that first. It’s my favorite place in the whole of Snow Crystal. Michael proposed to me there. Took me on a horse-drawn sleigh. The bells were tinkling, snow was falling…it was the most romantic thing you could imagine and even more so because he wasn’t a particularly romantic man. He surprised me.” Elizabeth lifted her hand to her throat. “He was romantic that night. Not just the proposal, but the way he did it. He’d thought it through, you see. Created something I’d remember. There was a fur rug and a bottle of champagne—” She broke off and Kayla saw concern in Jackson’s eyes.

“That sounds like a perfect proposal.” She took over the conversation to give Elizabeth a chance to compose herself. “Are sleigh rides popular among the guests?”

“Yes.” He told her about the horses they kept, about the route they took along the lake, and Elizabeth seemed to recover.

“Talking of guests, we had a request from the family renting cabin one for a Christmas tree. I asked Tyler, but he had to take that group skiing and Walter shouldn’t be chopping down trees and dragging them through the forest at his age.”

“I’ll do it.” Jackson massaged Maple’s tummy but his eyes were on Kayla.

She’d been trying not to look at him, but the pull of his presence in the room proved too much.

For a fleeting moment their eyes connected, and she knew he was thinking about the kiss. And so was she. The atmosphere was so thick she could hardly breathe. She was sure his mother should have been able to feel it, too, but Elizabeth’s attention was focused on the box of decorations in her lap.

Kayla stood up abruptly. “I’ll help you.” She snatched up the box Elizabeth had removed from her hand and hung a silver ball randomly on a branch, her hands shaking.

“You don’t have to do that, dear.”

“I want to.” It was just a tree. She ought to be able to decorate a tree. “I’ve been thinking we should definitely offer romance-themed packages.”

Elizabeth gave a sigh of approval. “I like that. Most people are too busy for romance today. No one slows down long enough to take time for each other.”

Jackson lifted Maple off his lap. “You think it’s better to go that route than showing Snow Crystal as a family destination?”

“We’re going to do both, although the method isn’t clear in my head yet.” It would be a lot clearer if she didn’t have her face stuck in Christmas. Kayla hung the decorations as quickly as possible, trying to get the job done. Why did the tree have to be so big? Branches stabbed her in the arm and in the face. Then she turned too quickly and they caught in her hair. “Ouch!”