Maureen Child - Brides & Bargains

“I don’t need your help, Sira, or your pity.”

“I would never pity you, Sebastian, but I do believe you need to have someone as a sounding board. And I would hope after ten years together you could trust me enough to fill that role.”

He pondered her words a moment and realized she was probably right. He also knew that by being totally transparent, he would be inviting a measure of pain. Yet he couldn’t think of one soul he trusted more than his wife, and he had done her a disservice by not revealing his secrets. Only after doing so would she understand why he could not in good conscience go forward with their plans to have a child.

“I will tell you what you believe you want to know, but I assure you it’s not pretty.”

“I am stronger than you think, Sebastian.”

He would not debate that. At times he wondered if she possessed more strength than him. “This secret, the one no one speaks of, has to do with my mother’s demise.”

Nasira leaned forward and sent him a concerned look. “Please tell me and end this suspense.”

He drew in a deep breath and prepared to lower the boom. “My father killed her.”

Six

Nasira placed a hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp. Myriad questions whirled through her mind like a crazed carousel. “Why? How?”

Sebastian disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a tumbler half full of his favorite scotch. “Why? Because he’s a selfish bastard who only cares about his desires. How involves... “

When he hesitated, Nasira’s anxiety escalated. “Go on.”

Sebastian streaked a hand over his shadowed jaw. “He knew she was ill and didn’t lift a finger to help her.”

She sat back, her shoulders sagging from mild relief. “I truly thought you were going to mention knives or guns or perhaps poison.”

He settled back into the chair and took a sip of the drink. “He might as well have put a gun to her head by not seeking medical attention when she clearly needed it. I knew something was wrong that morning.”

Nasira realized he was perched on the precipice of deep emotional pain. “The morning she passed away?”

He shook his head. “No. The last morning I saw her alive.” He stared at some unknown focal point, as if he had mentally returned to that day, before he spoke again. “I had been on summer break from boarding school and it was time for me to return. Of course, I happened to be running late when Mother summoned me into her quarters. She was propped up in bed and she looked very pale. She told me she loved me and hugged me as if she didn’t want to let me go. As if she knew it would be the final time. And I wrenched out of her grasp because I knew if I didn’t leave at that moment, I would earn my father’s wrath for making the driver wait. I never expressed my love for her, and I have lived with that regret for almost three decades.”

Her heart ached for him. “You were only a child, Sebastian. You could not have foreseen the future.”

He released a weary sigh. “Perhaps, and I would not have predicted what I would learn when I was called into the headmaster’s office two days later. My father did not bother to personally retrieve me. He sent one of the bloody staff members to tell me my mother was dead. He did not shed one tear at the wake. Worse still, he admonished me for crying.”

Nasira had always been fond of her father-in-law, who seemed nothing at all like the tyrant Sebastian had described. “I am stunned at his behavior. James has always treated me with kindness and affection.”

Sebastian leveled his gaze on her. “You’ve never disappointed him, and I have never lived up to his standards.”

“You are a brilliant businessman. I cannot imagine he would hand over the company to you if he did not truly believe that.”

“He did so because he had no choice since I failed to produce an heir. I refuse to relinquish that control to him.”

Had this been the reason behind his reluctance to have another child? A vendetta against an unfeeling patriarch?

She would not know the reason behind his resistance unless she asked, yet she sensed this might not be the time or place to do so. She did have another important question. “I understand James treated you poorly, but do you truly believe he neglected your mother’s health issues? I’ve heard the staff speaking highly of their relationship.”

Sebastian tightened his grip on the glass in his hand. “I heard the servants discussing a few details when they didn’t realize I was eavesdropping. As we both know, they are the eyes and ears of the household.”

“And did you confront your father over this idle chitchat?”

He pushed the scotch aside as if it held no appeal. “At ten years old, I didn’t dare try. Since that time, he has never been one to discuss personal affairs. Had I inquired, he would have dismissed me, as he did whenever I asked anything about my mother.”

Her husband had based his conclusions on rumors, not fact, and that bothered Nasira. “Have you considered talking to Stella to verify what you heard all those years ago?”

“Yes, and she stated she wasn’t at liberty to provide the details. Then she advised me to stop living in the past.”

Stella’s reluctance to clear the air was unacceptable as far as Nasira was concerned, albeit an indication of her devotion to James. But she did not feel she had the right to intervene...yet. Right now, she was thankful Sebastian had begun to open up for the first time during their union. She did not want to push her luck by applying too much pressure. “I am really very sorry about what you’ve endured, Sebastian. I wish there was more I could do or say to ease your distress.”

“I’m not distressed,” he said as he pushed back from the table and stood. “But there is something you could do.”

She could only imagine what he had in mind. “Yes?”

“Accompany me to the festival downtown.”

The request totally took her by surprise. “What festival?”

“I’m not certain. I believe it involves street vendors and a carnival. I thought it might be a good way to soak in the culture.”

Quite possibly a good way to temporarily erase the past, Nasira thought. Understandable he would want to do that, and this time she would allow it. Still, she certainly would not refuse the opportunity to spend some quality time with her husband. She came to her feet and attempted a smile. “That sounds wonderful. I suppose I should change.”

He stood, rounded the table and then touched her face. “You’re a beautiful, remarkable woman, Sira. Never think you should change for me.”

The sheer emotion in his eyes, the absolute sincerity in his voice, sent Nasira’s spirits soaring. Perhaps they had reached a turning point, the prospect of a new beginning. Yet she acknowledged they would not obtain that goal until her husband was willing to tell her the unabridged truth.

* * *

Sebastian had avoided the whole truth like a practiced coward. He hadn’t told his wife that rejecting parenthood had more to do with his fear for her safety and not his determination to avoid his father’s interference. Someday he would reveal the bitter details behind his mother’s death, but right now he wanted to leave the past behind and concentrate on the present.

With that in mind, he took Nasira’s hand into his as they strolled the streets of Royal crowded with cowboys and kids, two of whom sprinted past them on the sidewalk.

“This place is certainly full of children,” he said. “I’d expect to see the Pied Piper coming around the corner at any moment.”

Nasira sent him a frown. “This is a festival, Sebastian. What else would you expect?”

Better manners. “True. The town appears to treat procreation as a sport as revered as their Friday night Texas football.”