Barbara Hannay - Blind Dates and Other Disasters

‘Dinner?’ Holly stood up so fast she had to steady herself so as not to black out.

Beth stood more slowly and waddled over to their bags. Holly followed at a trot.

‘To make up for his dismal effort the other night Ben has organised for one of his work colleagues to come to dinner tonight. He had hoped the two of you could meet, fall madly in love and marry. But if you’re not interested—’

‘Of course, I’m interested. Do you know him? Is he nice? Intelligent? What does he do? No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. Is he cute?’

‘Just be at our place by six-thirty, and all will be revealed.’

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.’ She gave Beth a big hug. ‘You guys are so good to me.’

‘Even Ben? A minute ago he was a Neanderthal.’

‘Ben a Neanderthal? Never. He’s the most wonderful man in the history of the world.’

Beth nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

As the clock neared seven Beth screamed at Ben to take Holly into the front room and keep her there. ‘If she asks me what he’s like one more time, the pair of you will be sucking gravy from your shirts.’

Holly took a seat in the front room. She crossed and uncrossed her legs several times before settling on right over left. She nibbled at her manicured fingernails and her right leg jiggled up and down.

A sudden downpour made a soft, rhythmic drumming sound on the flat roof. Holly watched as rain created hypnotic rivulets down the window-panes. Each car driving past was heralded by a soft swoosh of tyres on the wet road surface. Headlights lit up raindrops on the glass to a blinding brilliance, before fading as fast as they had arrived. But none heralded her blind date.

‘Ben?’

‘Yes, Holly.’

She knew that tone. Ben had already begun rubbing stiff fingers over the back of his neck.

‘What does he know about me?’

‘Are you sure you want to know? Are you sure you’re not going to stop me as soon as I begin telling you?’

‘I’m sure. Tell me. I can’t stand it. I need to know something.’ Holly’s leg jiggled ever more violently.

‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I told him that you were cute.’

‘You said I’m cute?’ Her leg jiggle slowed. ‘You’re so sweet.’

Ben mirrored her more relaxed behaviour. ‘I told him that you and Beth had been friends for years—’

‘He knows Beth well enough for you to mention I was friends with her?’ she shrieked, and watched as a small muscle twitched in Ben’s cheek. There was no stopping her. She was out of control.

‘Maybe I should know who it is. No. I can’t. Does Beth like him? What else did you tell him?’

Headlights flashed brightly through the window, though this time they shone directly through the lace curtains, and then switched off. Holly gulped as the engine sound stopped. He had arrived.

‘I can’t do this,’ she whispered. ‘Help.’

Ben stood and walked over to her, his jaw set. He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her to her feet. ‘You want to know what else I told him about you?’

Ben propelled her to the front door. Holly knew that she had pushed him too far. She smiled in apology. ‘I don’t think I do.’

But it was too late. As the bell rang and just before Ben whipped open the front door he whispered in her ear.

‘I told him you were on the prowl for a husband and he was candidate number one.’

THE door swung open and Jacob found Holly frozen to the spot, her eyes wide and her mouth unnaturally ajar.

In that first moment, a broad smile swept across his face. He felt that same odd rush of warmth deep in the pit of his stomach that he felt each time he saw her.

Then he remembered Ben’s revelation. The flowers he had brought for Beth drooped to his side. He glanced from Holly’s curiously blanched face to Ben’s apologetic one and he knew.

He had just turned up to a blind date with a husband hunter.

‘Look, Holly. Flowers.’ Ben grabbed the posy out of Jacob’s hand and put them in Holly’s, clasping her limp fist around the stems. ‘Now, go put them in water.’

Ben spun her on the spot and gave her a little shove in the direction of the kitchen.

Jacob shrugged off his coat and shook his head to rid himself of a spray of raindrops that caught him on the way to the door, and then laid a friendly but controlling arm around his friend’s shoulder. ‘Is this what I think it is?’

‘Mate, I’m sorry. I had a feeling neither of you would agree to come to dinner if I let on the other would be here.’ ‘You got that right.’

‘If you are staying in town for any length of time you will be bound to run in the same circles so you may as well get to know each other.’

‘Fair enough. But if that’s all that this is, why is she acting like a living mummy?’

Ben flicked furtive glances towards the closed kitchen door. ‘At times Holly can drive me around the bend, tonight being a prime example. And just before I opened the door I snapped and told her that—’

Ben stopped talking and swallowed. Jacob squeezed his friend’s shoulder to hurry him up.

‘I pretty much told her you knew she was “husband hunting” and that’s why you were here.’

‘You what?’ Jacob dropped his arm from his friend’s shoulder and took a step back, physically distancing himself from the shock.

‘Look, Beth will be out any second, and she doesn’t need too much excitement right now; so any shouting, and hitting, and telling Beth what I’ve done would create excitement. Please stay, eat a nice dinner. It’ll all be over in a couple of hours.’

‘I’ll stay,’ Jacob said through clenched teeth. ‘For Beth.’

‘Of course. And the shouting and hitting?’

‘We’ll save that for a rainy day.’ Jacob grinned but it was all bared teeth and no pleasantry.

‘And there’s one more thing,’ Ben said.

‘What more could there possibly be?’

‘It turns out Holly doesn’t know you’re Jacob Lincoln of Lincoln Holdings, which is a good thing as she really hated the whole boxing match and thus doesn’t think much of him. You.’

Jacob blinked slowly. His mind was turning devilishly. Never one to shy away from a challenge—

‘So, your Holly doesn’t think much of me. Yet she thinks I have delivered myself here on a platter.’

‘Yes. And?’

Jacob knew he had Ben worried. Good. ‘Oh, I don’t think you have the right to question me right now, my friend. No shouting, no hitting, now and for ever, as long as tonight you go along with whatever I throw at you. Deal?’

Ben looked over to the closed kitchen door. The water turned off and the kitchen door bumped as it started to open.

‘Okay, deal,’ Ben said.

Jacob slapped Ben on the back and grinned at his friend. But this time his smile was radiant with good humour.

Holly took her time fetching the food, and so gladly missed several minutes of chit-chat. That meant they were several minutes closer to the end of the night. Beth had just finished telling about the guitar lessons she was taking so she could play for her baby when Jacob informed the table at large that his younger sister was engaged.

‘So that’s why you’re here,’ Beth said. ‘I knew it had to be more than just the temptation of my roast lamb. Have you met her fiancé?’

‘I have. On Sunday. Nice guy,’ Jacob said. ‘This will be his second time around.’

‘Divorced?’ Beth asked.

‘A widower.’

‘Oh. Poor man. So he’s older than Ana?’

‘A good bit.’

‘Doesn’t surprise me, really, considering.’ Beth brought her fingers to her temples and started to rub. ‘Now, let me guess, knowing Ana, I bet he is in a caring profession. He’s a … vet?’