Barbara Hannay - New Arrivals - Surprise Baby for Him

As they went on Seth had to get out to open and close gates at least another six times. Each time he got back into the car, he brought the smell of damp earth and a fine spray of rain.

‘I should be looking after the gates,’ Amy protested after the third stop.

‘Outback gates are notoriously tricky.’ He frowned as he looked at her more closely. ‘Are you OK? You’re looking pale.’

‘Bit tired. That’s all. I’m fine, thanks.’ Truth was, she was feeling ill and scared, scared of the shivers of awareness this man caused. It was ridiculous to feel so hung up about him. He was Rachel’s ex, and Bella’s father, and once she revealed her real reason for coming here he might hate her.

‘We’re almost there,’ he said, sounding surprisingly gentle.

Ahead of them, Amy saw lights winking through the rain, and then at last they pulled up at the bottom of a short flight of wooden steps.

She was familiar with pictures in magazines of homesteads on Outback cattle stations—ageing timber houses with corrugated iron roofs and wrap-around verandas, sitting in the middle of grassy paddocks.

It was too dark to see much tonight, but if she guessed correctly they’d arrived at the back of this house. Rain drummed loudly on the iron roof, and the veranda was in darkness but a light came on as they got out of the vehicle.

They hung their damp coats on pegs near the back door and Seth turned to Amy. ‘I’ll show you straight to your room,’ he said, watching her with a thoughtful frown.

‘Thanks.’

He walked ahead of them, carrying their bags, and Amy followed, hugging Bella close, reassured by the familiar warmth and softness of her baby skin. She wondered where Seth’s uncle was. Wondered if she should tell Seth tonight, while they were alone, that this little girl was his daughter.

Surely it was better to get the truth out in the open sooner rather than later?

Fear rippled through her as she pictured the moment of revelation. She had no idea how Seth would react, whether he would be angry, or shocked, or disbelieving. Or suspicious of her motives.

Or all of the above.

Perhaps it would be prudent to wait till the morning. It had been a long, unsettling day. Her tiredness made her fragile and susceptible to tears and she wanted to be strong like a mother lion when she broached Bella’s future with this man.

‘I thought this room should suit you,’ Seth said, pushing open a door.

‘Oh.’ Amy couldn’t hold back an exclamation of surprise as she entered the room and he set their bags down. ‘This is lovely.’

It was the prettiest room possible, with soft, pale green carpet and matching green and cream wallpaper. Romantic mosquito nets hung over twin beds and French doors opened onto the veranda.

‘There’s an en-suite bathroom through there.’ He pointed to a door.

‘Thank you, Seth. That’s wonderful.’

Setting Bella down, Amy peeped around the doorway. The bathroom was sparkling clean and as lovely as the bedroom. Thick, soft towels hung on the rails and there was even a purple orchid in a cut-glass vase on the washbasin. It was amazing, really, to find such comfort all the way out here, like coming across a mirage in the middle of a desert.

Perhaps Seth and his uncle were used to having guests. Amy wondered if he wasn’t nearly as antisocial as she’d believed. This wonder was compounded when she turned back into the bedroom, and found Bella and the antisocial man in question trying to touch the ends of their noses with their tongues.

As she watched them Amy’s throat tightened and her mouth wobbled dangerously. They looked so alike, giggling together and having such incredible fun being silly. Without warning, her guilty conscience got the better of her and she very nearly blurted out the truth. Right there and then, accompanied by tears.

I mustn’t. Not now. It would be too cruel to walk into Seth’s house and immediately dump the news on him like an emotional thunderstorm.

She pretended to be terribly busy, opening Bella’s suitcase, struggling to feel calmer.

As if he hadn’t noticed anything amiss, Seth said, ‘I told Ming we’d be happy with something light for supper. How do scrambled eggs with tea and toast sound?’

‘That sounds fine.’ She was dazed with surprise. ‘Who’s Ming?’

Seth smiled. ‘My cook.’

His cook?

Amy blinked. This was another surprise. From the way Rachel had spoken, she’d always imagined that life on this cattle station was pretty rough.

‘So are scrambled eggs OK?’ Seth asked.

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘They’d be perfect. Bella would love some, too.’

‘No problem. I’ll let Ming know. Come along to the kitchen when you’re ready. It’s just down the hall.’

‘One, two, five, six!’ Bella chanted proudly as she counted the buttered fingers of toast on her plate, then beamed happy smiles at both Amy and Seth.

They were eating alone in the kitchen, the mysterious Ming having prepared their food and then disappeared before Amy could meet him.

Fortunately, Bella was quite adept at filling any awkward silences that lapsed during their dinnertime conversation. In between Bella’s choruses, Amy answered Seth’s questions about her work in marketing and he elaborated on the export beef market.

She wished she could follow up on their earlier conversation with more personal questions like how he’d felt about giving up rugby, or whether he planned to live on Cape York for ever. Or whether he looked forward to having a family one day. Most importantly, she wanted to know how he’d felt about Rachel.

Instead, she told him about her Melbourne flat and Bella’s playgroup and the day care centre where she planned to leave Bella when she returned to work.

Seth’s gaze met Amy’s when she told him this, and wariness crept into his eyes, as if he sensed her underlying tension.

All of a sudden she was desperately, achingly tired and she realised she’d been tense for hours. The closer she got to telling Seth about his relationship to Bella, the more frightened she was.

The fact was, telling Seth was one thing. Handing her precious little girl over was another matter entirely. Amy had no intention of giving her away. As Bella’s guardian, she planned to take the child back to Melbourne with her. Seth could stay in touch, certainly, but he couldn’t expect to have Bella permanently.

Could he?

All through the meal, there was a question in his eyes, which Amy tried to avoid. She focused on his hands as he cut a piece of toast into the shape of a sailing boat for Bella. They were very workmanlike hands—sinewy and strong and suntanned. To Amy’s intense dismay, she found herself imagining his hands on her skin and the thought caused crazy explosions deep inside.

By the end of the meal, Bella was growing sleepy again and Amy grabbed the excuse to escape, to put her to bed.

‘Good idea,’ Seth agreed easily, but as Amy was about to leave he said, ‘Would you have time for a chat after Bella’s settled?’

Time for a chat?

Her heart jumped with sudden fright. Why did his simple question sound ominous? His blue gaze was quiet and steady, in complete contrast to her hectic pulse.

‘Yes, of course,’ she managed to reply. ‘It shouldn’t take too long to settle Bella.’

‘Half an hour?’

‘That’s plenty of time.’

For once Amy was pleased that Bella knew every word of her bedtime story by heart. She only had to turn the pages while the little girl happily pointed to the pictures and recited snippets of dialogue.

Meanwhile, Amy’s mind raced, trying to guess why Seth wanted to chat.

Ever since Rachel’s accident, her mind had developed the alarming habit of leaping to worst-case scenarios. She wondered if Seth wanted to talk about Rachel and Bella. Could he have guessed?