Candy Halliday - Are Men From Mars?

“You have at least one hundred and thirty pounds on her,” Brad scoffed. “I think you can handle it.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Baker argued. “I’m telling you, Hawk, she’s a real handful.”

Believe me, she’s more than a handful, Brad thought with a frown, remembering the feel of her ample bosom pressed against his chest. He hated to admit it, but Baker was right about the danger he’d be facing over the next few days. Especially if he stuck to his plan to keep her off balance by coming on to her. There was always the possibility a plan like that one could backfire. But he assured himself he could handle the situation. “Stop stalling and get back inside. Someone might get suspicious if you’re guarding my door.”

Baker groaned, but finally nodded in agreement.

Brad gave him a playful salute and headed down the hallway. “Have fun,” he tossed back over his shoulder with a wink.

SLUMPED ON THE LOVE SEAT, munching from a bag of popcorn Baker had brought back from the mess hall, Maddie ignored the big gorilla who was again standing guard in front of the door. She was still stewing over the disastrous little tête-à-tête that had occurred earlier with the Hawk, though Maddie mainly blamed herself for letting her guard down. Which she positively wouldn’t do again, thank you very much!

Liar! the little voice inside her head yelled out with a snicker.

Okay. So maybe she wasn’t as strong as she thought she was. Maybe it would take everything she had to keep from clucking her silly head off when Mr. Let’s-Play-House walked back into the room. She was, after all, just a normal, healthy, still on the back side of thirty female.

Normal?

Okay. So maybe she wasn’t exactly your typical twenty-something female. She could admit that. She was dedicated to a fault. Focused more on her career than she was on life in general. But she still dated occasionally. She had to earn some points for dating.

Occasionally?

Okay. So maybe rarely was a better word. But she did date. And she did like men. She did! She just never had any time to fit them into her life.

What about the next three days?

Maddie pushed that question to the back of her mind, and continued to channel surf through a multitude of cable stations. She jumped to her feet when Headline News flashed her faculty picture, taken straight from the McCray-Hadley annual on the screen.

All Maddie could do was stare in horror.

She wasn’t sure if her terror was because they had chosen to display her absolutely most dreadful and unflattering picture of all time, or because Mary Beth’s idiocy had now been picked up by national television news.

“An all-points bulletin has now been issued for Dr. Madeline Morgan, a professor of entomology at McCray-Hadley College, one of the most acclaimed private colleges in the South,” the pretty news-woman said with a serious look when the camera switched from Maddie’s horrid picture back to her. “As reported earlier, Dr. Morgan was allegedly abducted earlier today by an unidentified aircraft near Roswell, New Mexico. Anyone with any valid information on the whereabouts of Dr. Morgan is urged to contact their local police authorities….”

“Can you believe this insanity?” Maddie cried out, prompting only a sheepish look from her bodyguard.

“And joining us now direct from a fraternity house near the McCray-Hadley campus is our own reporter….”

“Dear God,” Maddie moaned as a live shot of the Alpha Beta Pi fraternity house came into view.

“We’re here in Morgan City, Georgia, tonight,” the handsome reporter told the world, “but so far we’ve been unsuccessful in getting any statement from the dean of McCray-Hadley, or from Dr. Melvin Fielding, noted entomologist and current Department Chair, who is also Dr. Morgan’s immediate supervisor.”

“Of course, they don’t have time to make a statement, you idiot!” Maddie yelled at the screen. “They’re too busy trying to figure out how they’re gracefully going to fire me.”

“But we have been fortunate to locate several of Dr. Morgan’s students,” he added and the camera panned to a group of grinning students waving madly at the camera. One boy mouthed “Hi Mom” before the reporter extended the microphone in his direction.

“Are you a student of Dr. Morgan’s?”

“Yeah, man. She’s a really happening teacher.”

“Too bad your grades aren’t just as happening,” Maddie grumbled, digging into her popcorn bag again.

“Do any of you think it’s really possible Dr. Morgan has been kidnapped by aliens?” the pushy reporter inquired.

As luck would have it, a student known as “Reefer” for a very good reason jumped forward to answer that question. “Wow, man. I’m totally psyched over the possibility Dr. Morgan really has been abducted by aliens,” Reefer said in his usual far-out way of speaking. “Of all the people in the world, the aliens chose one of our very own faculty members right here at McCray-Hadley to represent our entire planet. It’s totally awesome, man. Totally awesome.”

“And do you have any speculation about why Dr. Morgan would have been chosen, if, in fact, she has been abducted by aliens?” the reporter said with a sinister smile that could have easily been caused by the overwhelming aroma that was usually reeking from Reefer’s wrinkled clothing.

“You bet I do,” Reefer said with a completely serious expression. “Butterflies, man. Dr. Morgan knows all there is to know about butterflies. Ask anyone on campus. That’s how she earned her nickname. Madam Butterfly.”

Maddie felt like she’d been slapped. Nickname? Reefer was the one with the nickname! Not her. Surely not her!

“Well, you’ve heard it here folks,” the reporter said with a lopsided grin as he practically shoved Reefer back into the crowd. “Students at McCray-Hadley are certainly wishing the best for Dr. Madeline Morgan, who is known around campus as Madam Butterfly.”

Maddie switched off the TV, smashed the popcorn bag with her fist and threw the remote control across the room. It landed on the love seat with such force it bounced several times, then toppled to the floor.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Maddie kept saying as she paced around the room. “This morning I was a respected entomologist, on the verge of the biggest discovery of my career, and in the blink of an eye a snide reporter on national news has the audacity to refer to me as Madam Butterfly!”

Maddie did a little more pacing, tossed the bag into the trash, then tentatively looked around the room for something to destroy. Her intentions must have been reflected in her frown, because her bodyguard suddenly cleared his throat to get her attention.

“I wouldn’t let that reporter bother me if I were you, Dr. Morgan. This will all blow over soon enough,” Baker said calmly from his post at the door.

Maddie whirled around to face him, hoping he couldn’t detect the wheels that had also started whirling around inside her head. She hesitated for a second, and then she said, “You know, Sergeant Baker, you’re absolutely right. Thanks for helping me put things into perspective.” Maddie sent him her most brilliant smile.

He seemed surprised, but he smiled back. Then he shrugged. Then he did a little shuffle from one foot to the other, more than a little embarrassed under her praise. “Hey, don’t mention it.”

Gotcha! Maddie thought. And though she certainly wasn’t proud of herself for turning on a big dose of feminine charm, Maddie knew she had to get back to Roswell before her career was so badly ruined she’d never recover.

“You poor, poor, man,” Maddie said, forcing herself to even bat her eyelashes a few times. “I’ve been so focused on my own problems, I never stopped to think how tired you must be standing at the door hour after hour.”