Karen Harper - Down River

“M-Mitch, someone pushed me in the river. I fell down the bank and rolled, but someone pushed me first.”

“You said that.”

“Don’t you believe me?” It came out as Don’t you leave me.

“When we get back, we’ll look into it. I did see the stuff Christine packed for us strewn down the bank toward the river. Why didn’t you go down to the lake landing to wait for me? Didn’t you see or hear anyone?”

“Hear them, with the roar of the river? I—I was just looking at the salmon in the water. My mind is working all right now. I’m better,” she said, shifting away again. She wanted to remember what had happened, but not feel the hopeless panic, the fear of riding the river. Was her memory messed up like her mind?

And Mitch—he felt more solid than she recalled, so good, warm and strong with rock-hard muscles like the ledge under her. Had Alaska done that to him? Yes, he’d looked more bulked up when she’d seen him yesterday after an entire year apart. If it wasn’t a crazy idea, she’d almost think his new life had made him taller, too.

“I’ll see if your clothes are dry, and we’ll get the wet suit on you for warmth, too,” he said. “The little cookstove may warm your hands, but don’t be in too much of a rush to get up. The shock of it—you’ll come back slowly and may have some scrambled thoughts.”

That’s for sure, she told herself, but demanded, “You don’t believe I was pushed in?”

“It’s good you’re getting angry at me. That will get your blood and temp up—and besides, that’s more like picking up where we left off, isn’t it?”

“That’s all past now. I can’t thank you enough for risking the river to come after me. Can’t I just get d-dressed, curl up and sleep for a while? I’m so exhausted. It’s a trauma for both of us.”

“Sure has been, and not just this river ride. But no, you can’t just go to sleep yet. I’m not the doctor in my family, but I know a hypothermic victim shouldn’t do that—too dangerous for a while. I think it’s like having a concussion. My clothes were soaked, too, and you needed core body heat badly, so if you’re wondering why we’re both undressed in here—”

“I knew that. See, I’m compos mentis again.” She had to fight very hard to form thoughts and words. It was like groping for something in the dark. “Thank you, but I’m all r-right now. And if you’re thinking I did really fall in, or just trip—or if you’re thinking what you know about my mother, it isn’t that. Someone pushed me, and I can think of at least two people with motives, maybe more. I wasn’t halluc … hallucinating….”

Her voice trailed off as her thoughts swirled again. Or had she been? Had she actually been pushed in, or had that river lured her, seduced her because, after all was said and done, little Lisa had actually wanted to be with Mommy and Jani? Was little Lisa still terrified that she had sent them right over the edge?

Even though she hadn’t seen her psychiatrist, Dr. Sloan, for years, she heard his voice. “You have to get over the idea you should have died with them or that you caused their fall. I know you blame yourself for not realizing your mother was so sick, but you were just a child. It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault.”

Mitch’s voice broke into the memory. “Lisa, can you hear me? Your eyelids fluttered, and you looked as if you were going to pass out again.”

“Only to sleep. I need to sleep.”

“Me, too, but no. We’re miles overland from the lodge and help—from any civilization—so we’re going to have to hike out of here. Just rest here a few more minutes. I’ll get dressed first, if my stuff’s dry. But keep your eyes open and keep talking.”

“I—I don’t have shoes to hike. The river took them.”

“I know. I’ll make you some from our extra PFD, tape pieces of it around your feet.”

“Wow, a guy who understands how girls love shoes.”

He actually chuckled as he moved out of their warm little cocoon. She caught a glimpse of skin and curly, black chest hair. The cold air slammed in on her, and she fumbled to pull the canvas cover closed. But his laugh had warmed her. That and the fact he told her to keep her eyes open while he crawled out naked on the ledge to get dressed. But she didn’t want to give him the idea she cared about him that way, so she pulled the canvas bag closer around her and turned away.

Just business—and survival—between them now. She had to be strong to help get them out of here and so that he could give a good report on her to the Bonners. At the very least they would think she was a klutz for falling in the river. Would they all think she was crazy if she claimed someone had pushed her? Maybe she should tell Mitch she had just imagined it, not tell people what had really happened. Then she could investigate who could have pushed her, set someone up for a confession—or, God forbid, another attempt to eliminate her. But who would be that desperate to get rid of her?

But then another thought drifted in. Maybe the person didn’t think she’d really fall in the river, just wanted to warn her or shake her up. But why? Maybe it wasn’t just Jonas or Vanessa who had motive, means and opportunity to shove her down a clearing toward the river.

On Spike Jackson’s plane, flying in from Anchorage to the lodge yesterday, she remembered a strange exchange between him and the Bonners. “So this is some kind of a marathon or endurance test for your candidates?” Spike had asked Graham. Strapped in next to Lisa, Vanessa had strained forward to hear what Graham said over the loud hum of the plane’s single engine.

“Sure, a test of sorts, both with the activities Mitch has on tap for us and some others we have planned,” Graham had said. “We’ll have some group endeavors, some individual efforts.”

Jonas had joked from the single jump seat in the back, next to the pile of luggage, “Like pitting us against an Alaskan bear or wolf in a deep-woods arena?”

“Nonsense,” Ellie Bonner had piped up. From her place next to Spike in the copilot’s seat, she’d twisted around to face the rest of them. “This is not some face-your-worst-fears, Survivor-like game show. Graham and I want you to enjoy yourselves and focus on what are essentially bonding, not competitive experiences.”

“Just so long as she didn’t say ‘bondage,’” Jonas had whispered from the backseat so only Vanessa and Lisa could hear.

But could the Bonners have planned some sort of face-your-worst-fear survival test, and hers just got out of hand? Several years ago, after she came to know and trust both of them, she’d confided in them about her childhood tragedy and trauma over dinner at their home.

No. No, she scolded herself. She had to fight being paranoid, had to fight to show everyone she deserved the senior partner position and that she didn’t want Mitch anymore. Maybe bringing her to face Mitch was really her endurance test, and now, here she was, alone with him and dependent on him. Surely the Bonners—or Mitch—could not have planned or wanted that.

Her head snapped down, then jerked up. She’d almost nodded off, but he hadn’t seen. He was her rescuer, the one who knew the wilds, so for now she would try hard to do what Mitch said. She chatted, even chattered, tried to answer his questions about how she felt. She was bruised and battered all over but grateful no bones were broken. She was absolutely aching for sleep. But she had to cooperate so he could get them back to civilization, back to safety at the lodge. But, since—if—someone had pushed her, was it really civilized or safe there?

Mitch knew they had to get off the ledge. He had planned to spend the night here, but if he made Lisa get up and walk, she’d have to stay awake. He was also exhausted and feared he’d fall asleep. The worst scenario was that he’d have to hike out for help alone, but no way could he leave her near the river that could have killed her.