Rebecca Winters: His Very Own Baby

Their son didn’t seem particularly disturbed that a total stranger had started to undress him. Nicky’s sweet temperament allowed Alik to examine every part of his anatomy, from his broad shoulders to his square-tipped fingers and long legs without making a fuss.

While he lay there looking up at his father with cloudy eyes already fringed by long black lashes like Alik’s, his dark male beauty and olive skin, the square jaw, the way his shell ears lay close to his perfectly shaped head, all screamed Jarman.

“Dear Lord— I have a son.”

The reverence, the wonder in Alik’s husky tone told Blaire how much this moment meant to him. Her heart swelled until she thought it might burst. No matter if she’d done everything else wrong in life, she’d done this one thing right.

Clearing her throat she murmured, “Perhaps now you’ll understand why I didn’t dare bring him to the site. People would have taken one look at him an—”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” he demanded before she could finish. The tender side had disappeared as if it had never been.

By now Alik had gathered their near-naked baby against his shoulder with the quilt. He rose to his full, intimidating height.

She backed away from the fury in his glittering gaze. “I—I didn’t know I was pregnant when I broke our engagement. After I found out, I thought it better not to tell you.”

“Why? Damn you.” He hadn’t raised his voice. Maybe that’s why his excoriating rebuke sounded more deadly.

Clasping her hands together she said, “I told you I had been put on birth control pills, but the doctor said I should have been on them a full month b-before—”

“That still doesn’t explain why I wasn’t informed you were carrying my son.” His voice grated.

Aghast at his unexpected anger, she struggled for words that would appease him. Anything but the truth.

“I knew how much you hated me for ending our relationship the way I did. There was no excuse for my unconscionable behavior. I realize I was a coward. It’s because I was too immature for a man like you. Under the circumstances, I didn’t want to bring any more grief to your life.”

His features hardened, making him appear older than his thirty-six years.

“If that’s the case, then why in the hell have you come here now?”

She fought to hold back the sobs for the bitterness and hurt in his voice.

I’m so sorry for what I’ve done to you, my darling. You’ll never know the nightmare I’ve lived through. I can never tell you.

“Because having a baby forced me to consider someone else besides myself. Before Nicky’s delivery, it was all still like a dream. But when the doctor laid him across my stomach, I was struck with the realization that he was half yours. In that moment I determined that as soon as my OB would allow me to travel, I would bring him to you.

“I couldn’t have lived with myself if I’d kept this knowledge from you. As the father of our baby, it’s your God-given right to know he exists. R-Rick agrees.”

“Rick?” The skin around Alik’s mouth had gone a bluish-white. If she didn’t know better, she would think he were ill.

“Rick Hammond, my fiancé.” Dear God, the lies… “He knows I’m here, and he knows why. After we’re married, he intends to be a wonderful father to Nicky. Rick’s a good person. You can trust him to help me raise our son.”

A stillness had come over Alik. It should have warned her to stop talking, but she’d been working on this speech for weeks and needed to get it all said while she still had the courage.

“I—If you want to see Nicky from time to time, I’m willing to work out visitation with you. I’ll give you my phone number.” She moved over to the counter by the television and wrote it down on a piece of hotel stationery. “After Rick and I are married, I’ll let you know my new one.”

As she lifted her head, she noticed he’d put the baby back down on the bed. To her shock, he’d stretched out beside Nicky and was testing the strength of their little boy’s hands and arms.

The deep chuckle that came out of Alik testified to his delight in his offspring. Many times she’d dreamed about a domestic scene like this between father and son, but the reality was so poignant, she found herself fighting tears again.

“Alik?” His actions made her wonder if he’d even heard her.

“What is it?” he asked without looking in her direction.

“I know all of this has come as a tremendous shock. You don’t need to make up your mind about visitation tonight. If you need time to decide what you want to do, I’ll certainly understand.”

“I don’t need time,” came the blunt reply. “I want custody of Nicky.”

It was her turn to freeze in place. Surely she hadn’t heard him correctly.

Calm down, Blaire. He’s only baiting you because he has to go somewhere with all the anger that’s been bottled up inside him for the past year. Don’t take anything he says seriously. He looks exhausted. In a few minutes he’ll leave and that will be the end of it.

Pretending she hadn’t heard him, she found the baby’s nightgown in the diaper bag, then walked over to pick up Nicky and put him in the crib. But by this time Alik had nestled the baby against his shoulder with one strong, suntanned hand spanning his little back.

“I need to get him ready for bed, Alik.”

He stared up at her, his slumberous gaze narrowed on her features. “I need time to get acquainted with my son. There are two double beds in here. You look tired. Why don’t you go to sleep in the other one. I’ll take care of him.”

“Don’t be absurd!” she cried before remembering that she wasn’t going to let him get to her.

“I see you brought cans of formula with you.” He spoke in a conversational tone, ignoring her outburst. “Did you do that so I could feed him, or aren’t you nursing?”

The intimate question caught her off guard because she hadn’t expected him to think about things like that. She found herself blushing. Her reaction was ridiculous considering the fact that they’d spent a whole night making love. That night the term “one flesh” took on a whole new meaning, with Nicky as the final result.

“I nursed him in the hospital, but he developed a serious rash. The pediatrician told me he’s allergic to my milk, so I switched to formula. I use something different when I’m home, but the canned milk works fine for travel.”

Not being able to nurse had come as a huge disappointment to her. But compared to the more serious problems some mothers faced with their newborns, she had no room to complain.

“In that case I’ll be able to give him his next feeding. If you can’t go to sleep with the light on, by all means turn it off. Nicky and I will get along just fine in the dark, won’t we, son.”

This game had gone far enough. She sat down on the bed opposite him, unaware she was torturing the nightgown in her hands. Preoccupied with an animated Nicky and his baby noises, Alik refused to look at her.

“It’s getting late.” She had to think fast. “I promised Rick I would phone him before I went to bed.”

“Go ahead. So far our son’s behavior has been perfect. This is probably the best time to talk. Rick needs to know that I’m not relinquishing my right to raise Nicky. On the contrary, I plan to father him on a full-time basis from here on out.”

The finality in his tone terrified Blaire. She bowed her head.

“You can’t do that. He’s my son, too, Alik.”

“I’m afraid you should have thought of that before you entered my trailer without being invited. If you think I’m going to allow him to be raised by another man who answers to Daddy, and calls him son, then you never knew me, and I sure as hell never knew you. Except of course for one night in the biblical sense,” he scathed, wounding her in new ways that went marrow deep.