Geri Krotow - Navy Orders

Face it—the only part of your life that’s been real since you graduated from the naval academy nine years ago is your career.

She blinked.

No more.

She was done with pouring her emotions into the out-of-reach life that was never going to happen for her. Not in the way she’d planned it, anyhow.

So much of her pain was represented by this one tiny diamond.

She’d failed Dick. She should never have expected any man, especially a man who didn’t understand her need to serve her country and see the world, to wait years for her. Would she have waited years for a man who’d gone off like she had?

Dick knew her family as well as she did, and he’d loved her despite all its crazy ways. He’d fit in to her family so damn well, in fact, that he’d gone off and married her sister at the first hint of Roanna taking orders to Whidbey Island instead of getting out of the navy. Once her aircraft carrier pulled back into Norfolk, Virginia, they’d broken up.

Dick’s timing had been unfortunate, since he’d told her he was breaking up with her at the same time he revealed he’d married someone else.

Her sister.

Their last conversation still replayed in her mind, over a year later.

They were at a chain restaurant in downtown Trenton, New Jersey. Dick’s idea of a welcome-back-from-deployment meal. She’d been able to overlook his lack of planning even then. It was okay—he waited while she went off and fought wars and she put up with his not-so-desirable qualities when she came home. It was how they did things, both accepting less than what they deserved.

But then he’d revealed that their engagement was off. And, in fact, that he’d married the love of his life.

“Face it, Ro. We’re more like brother and sister than a couple. Have been for years.” He’d shot her a remorseful grin.

“I don’t know of too many brothers and sisters who sleep together,” she’d retorted.

Her bluster had been automatic, the reaction she knew she was supposed to have. In truth she’d been shocked at how little she’d cared. As if he’d done them both a favor. Maybe it was time for her to look at herself and even let go of whatever image she’d set out to achieve for her life.

But that would have meant she didn’t know where she was going next. Roanna always had a plan B, a safety net, and it had always been Dick. Plan A had always been whatever her navy orders said they were. The orders to Whidbey Island sent her three thousand miles from Dick. Did she really think he’d follow her out there and start a new practice in a strange state?

Again, her career was the one thing she’d been able to count on.

At Dick’s silence, her cheeks had grown warm, and then she’d started to shiver.

“I’m sorry if it wasn’t good enough for you, Dick.” They both knew she was talking about their sex life. At its height it had been a release from months of separation, a simple youthful yearning that demanded fulfillment in their teens and had turned into an obligatory ritual.

“Ro, don’t do this.”

“Do what, Dick? Get upset that you got married before you dumped me? Or feel hurt that you’ve been less than happy with our sex life?”

She’d sighed. Dick’s face bore an expression she’d never seen on him before—resignation. Maybe it’s time to grow up and move on, she’d thought.

“I’m sorry, Dick. This isn’t what I’d expected, but you’re actually right. We’ve been kidding ourselves for a long time, haven’t we?”

“I think so.”

The waitress had come and taken their orders. Ro had picked her favorite fish and chips basket while Dick—previously the king of junk food—ordered a grilled chicken salad, dressing on the side.

“So who is she, Dick? I’m impressed that she’s gotten you to eat healthier. She must be your soul mate.” She’d felt genuine when she’d uttered that, too. Really, it had become clearer as their conversation went on that Dick had saved both of their lives by finding another woman.

Dick had stayed silent. She’d felt a flash of compassion for him then, and for his new wife. Poor dears must have tortured themselves over how she’d take the news.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” She twisted off the small engagement ring they’d bought at the navy base exchange on one of his trips to Virginia Beach to see her. It had been inexpensive and tax-free, perfect for the young couple they’d been at the time.

“Here.”

He waved her hand, and the ring, away.

“No, no, I can’t take that, Roanna. Sell it or give it away, but it’s yours to do with as you wish.”

She’d held her hand out awkwardly for a few more heartbeats before she’d slipped the ring into the small front pocket of her jeans.

“So, do I know your bride, Dick?”

The guilt on his face had been palpable. She’d reached out to him and put her hand on his forearm.

“Dick, it’s okay. Cross my heart. I know you must think I’m in shock or something―maybe I am―but deep down I know this is the best thing for both of us. And I really, really want you to be happy. So who is she?”

His gaze had stayed downcast on the plastic ketchup bottle. It had seemed an eternity before he looked back up at her.

“It’s Krissy, Ro.”

Finally the shock hit her, followed quickly by despair, betrayal and a sprinkle of good old-fashioned outrage.

“Krissy?” She’d tilted her head and tried to smile. Her lips had felt frozen. She only knew one woman named Krissy.

Dick had sighed and bitten his bottom lip, garnering more courage.

“Your sister, Ro. Krissy, your sister, is my wife.”

Ro remembered that she stared at him for a good bit before she stood up without a sound and left the restaurant. She hadn’t known what else to do—she’d never seen this in a movie before, hadn’t practiced this type of exit strategy during any of her navy drills on the ship.

That was the last time she’d spoken to Dick. She’d refused Krissy’s calls, too.

The Pacific wind tore at her cheeks and brought her thoughts back to the present.

That had been fourteen months ago. She hadn’t spoken to her family since, except for holiday calls to her mother, and a brief visit from her a year ago. Mom had known all along about Dick and Krissy’s relationship and had never bothered to tell Roanna. She’d been deployed to the Persian Gulf, in the midst of a freaking war, and her mother hadn’t warned her.

No one had.

Why she’d kept the cheap ring this long was beyond her. Dick had certainly never offered her the family heirloom that her half sister, Krissy, wore on her petite left hand. Mom had let this tidbit drop last Christmas. It had been Ro’s first Christmas willingly away from her family and it had been her best. A bit lonely but she’d dined in the chow hall on base with other single sailors who worked for her and it had turned out to be a wonderful day.

Ro was the strong one in her family. The natural leader with common sense. The one who broke the mold, got away from the hell she’d known as a child.

But strength was the last thing she felt as she battled the wind and her emotions. The moisture from the mist started to form drops.

The sorrow, sense of failure and complete emptiness she experienced in the driving rain belied the professional reputation she’d built for herself. Clad in only her running tights, athletic shoes and weatherproof jacket, she felt smaller than usual. Her runs often took her across this bridge. Usually it was a place of solace and exhilaration, mingled with consolation. She’d chosen Deception Pass for the closure she needed. No more waiting. Her new life, her new attitude, started today.

She looked out over the edge of the bridge. White foamy water resembled the froth on a cappuccino. It was so far below her it made her dizzy. She grabbed the cold metal railing to keep her balance.