Millie Criswell - No Strings Attached

“You’re just saying that because we’re friends and you feel sorry for me.”

Jack sighed. “You always sell yourself short, Samantha. You need to have more confidence in your abilities. You’re good at what you do. And I’m not just saying that because we’re friends. I really think you have talent as a writer.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly, pushing the calamari around her plate and silently debating whether or not to tell Jack about her plan to get pregnant. Samantha rarely kept secrets from him, but she wasn’t sure how he would react. Jack had been overly protective since grade school after all—this would probably freak him out completely.

“I had lunch with Patty today,” she began.

Jack’s face filled with distaste. He was not a Patty fan. “That woman is a piranha. Who’s she crucifying this week?”

“It’s Patty’s job to take bad employers to task,” she rebutted. “Just because she goes for the throats of those corporate execs is—”

“Throats? Ha! She goes straight for their balls and doesn’t let go until they’ve been castrated.”

“Well, someone has to stand up for what’s right. And if Patty were a man, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. She takes her job seriously, and I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

Jack set down his wineglass after taking a generous gulp of Chianti. “I know you like Patty, so I’ll try to temper my comments. But I admit, I’m glad you two are nothing alike. She’s too hard, too jaded, while you’re soft and kindhearted.”

“Maybe if I had Patty’s backbone, her chutzpah, I’d be more successful. You can’t say she hasn’t done well for herself. She lives near the park, makes gobs of money, shops at all the really expensive stores.” Samantha sighed. “I’m still a regular Macy’s customer.”

“I know she does well. But that doesn’t make her any more likeable.”

Sipping her wine, Samantha said, “Anyway, I discussed an idea with Patty, something I’m planning to do.”

“Is it something we’ve talked about?”

“No, not yet.” She swallowed nervously. “I wasn’t quite sure how you’d take the news, so I tried it out on Patty first.” She feared Jack’s reaction would be pretty similar to her friend’s—he’d hate it. And Jack’s opinion was very important to her.

“There’s not much you can say that will surprise me at this point. I think you know that.”

She took a few moments, sipped more Chianti to bolster her courage and blurted, “I’ve decided to have a baby.”

Eyes widening, Jack nearly choked on his veal parmesan and reached for his water glass. After a moment, he said, “I take it back. I’m surprised.” His brows drew together in confusion. “What am I missing here? Have you been dating someone that I don’t know about? Are you getting married?” He paled at the thought.

“I don’t have a husband waiting in the wings. I’m doing this all on my own.”

His right brow cocked. “Really? Now that would be interesting. As far as I know, there’s only been one immaculate conception.”

“Ha! Ha! Ha! Very funny. Obviously I can’t impregnate myself. I’m going to need help with that. Care to volunteer?”

He ignored her. “I assume since you’re not as ballsy as Patty that you’re talking about artificial insemination?”

“It’s not my method of choice, but under the circumstances I don’t see another way.”

“You could wait for the right man to come along, fall in love, get married. You know, the usual road to conception.”

“I’ve been that route with no luck. You of all people should know that. We have that flaw in common.”

“I don’t consider it a flaw. I consider it a lifestyle choice,” he retorted, adding, “Look, Samantha, I think you’d be making a big mistake if you go through with this crazy scheme of yours. You might think you want a child, but this isn’t the way to go about it.”

“Why not? Plenty of single women have babies. Jodi Foster did it, and Diane Keaton, not to mention Rosie O’Donnell, who adopted her kids.”

He rolled his eyes. “Come on. Be sensible. Having a kid on your own isn’t a good idea. Those celebrities you’ve mentioned have money—you don’t.”

Hurt filled her voice. “I was hoping you’d be more supportive. This is important to me.”

“I wouldn’t be a very good friend if I didn’t give you my honest opinion, now would I? I’ve never lied to you, Samantha, not in all the years we’ve known each other.”

“I guess you’re entitled to your opinion, but just don’t go giving it out to anyone else. We’ll be going to my parents’ house soon for the annual apple harvest celebration, and I expect you to keep my confidence and not blab my plans to anyone—including Ross.”

“You know you can trust me. I’d never betray your confidence.”

“No, just my friendship.”

His lips thinned. “That’s not fair. I’m just trying to save you from yourself. Sometimes you act without thinking.”

“Is that what you think this is? Just because you don’t want to settle down and have a family? Well, that’s not me. Maybe I don’t want to get married and have a husband, but I do want to have a child.”

“That’s because you’ve never had one or been around kids for any length of time. This is just some fantasy you cooked up after babysitting the Walker baby.”

“It is not! I’ve given it a lot of thought. In fact, I’ve thought of little else. And you said yourself that we might be missing out.”

He shook his head. “Tell me how you plan to support yourself and a baby. How will you work and take care of a child? A baby is a huge responsibility, not to mention expensive. There’ll be hospital and doctor fees, baby furniture to buy, clothing, diapers, food. You can’t afford a child.”

She stiffened. “I’m quite capable of taking care of myself, Jack. Just because we live together doesn’t mean I can’t manage without you. I’ve already lined up several freelance jobs. And I intend to ask Gary to increase my hours at Starbucks. With the holidays coming, they’ll need more help. And I can always babysit to supplement my income, if I need to. There are a lot of jobs I’m capable of doing, and that includes working for you.

“And you don’t have to worry about me infringing on our friendship because I don’t intend to.”

Jack heaved a deep sigh and looked as if he was about to say something else, but Samantha cut him off.

“And don’t forget, there’s always a chance that my book will sell for gobs of money.”

And maybe pigs would fly.

“YOU APPEAR TO BE in excellent health, Ms. Brady,” Doctor Phillips told Samantha a few days later. The gray-haired gynecologist, who resembled George Hamilton without the tan, had been recommended by a friend of a friend of Patty’s and was touted to be one of the best in his field. Patty had pulled a few strings to get Samantha an appointment. And knowing how many patients were waiting to see the sought-after specialist, she owed her friend big-time.

“I’ll still need to wait for the results of today’s tests before I can determine the best way to proceed with the insemination process, Ms. Brady. And I want to make certain that your left ovary isn’t going to be problematic.”

Samantha filled with alarm. “Do you think it will be?” She got her period every month, so she’d assumed her ovaries were working just fine.

“I’ll have my nurse schedule a sonogram so we can take a peek at what’s going on with it, okay? It could very well be nothing, but I want to make sure that it isn’t a cyst or a tumor.”

Samantha had the strongest urge to borrow that Schwarzenegger line—”It’s not a tumor!”—but refrained. Instead, she folded her sweaty hands primly in her lap and nodded. “Whatever you think is best. You’re the expert. But I do have a few questions, if you don’t mind.”