Susan Fox - Contract Bride

“No, no, let’s not put the toast in your cup. It goes in your mouth, silly boy.”

Leah was never late putting a hot breakfast on the table. She might have been up half the night with Bobby or had to deal with the boy waking up earlier than normal, but somehow she handled every complication so competently that Reece could have set his watch by her.

Bobby had awakened early, probably with his usual soaked diaper that required a quick bath, but when Reece stepped into the kitchen his son was clean and dressed and sitting in his high chair with a bib on. He was gnawing on a piece of toast as Leah finished putting food on the table.

Reece felt a nettle of guilt and an equally sharp nettle of resentment. He already owed Leah more than he could repay, yet she just went on being perfect. Relentlessly perfect. Her perfection was a silent indictment of his notable lack of perfection where being a husband was concerned. The mild headache he’d woke up with began to pound.

“Daddeee!”

Bobby’s excitement to see him gave Reece a rush of pleasure and love that somehow soothed the rawness he felt.

The baby had his dark coloring, though Bobby’s features, particularly his green eyes and the way he set his mouth, fairly shouted testimony that he was Rachel’s son. The tender pride Reece felt in the boy might have added to the volatile churn of emotion that was still riding him from last night, but his relief to not only see but also identify the ways Bobby resembled his late mother slowed some of the churn.

Reece crossed to where the high chair sat between his place at the head of the table and Leah’s to his right. He ruffled Bobby’s dark hair before bending to give him a kiss on the forehead.

“Good morning,” Leah said quietly.

“Morning.”

Reece sat down just after Leah did, then automatically took hold of Bobby’s hand as Leah briefly said grace.

Quick and soft, the small prayer was another unintended reminder that Leah was a wonderful mother to his son. No detail of the child’s upbringing was being overlooked by her, while Reece himself had failed to provide him with something as elemental and necessary to a happy childhood as having a daddy and mama who loved each other.

The boy needed to grow up seeing a normal and settled relationship between his parents. How long would it be before he was old enough to note the significance of having a mama and daddy who never touched, who never embraced, and who didn’t even sleep in the same bed? His mood going darker, Reece took the meat plate Leah passed to him and silently served himself.

Leah was so tense that she felt awkward and self-conscious. Should she ask Reece what he’d decided or wait for him to tell her? Now that the big moment was almost here, she realized even more sharply how difficult it would be to actually hear that he would take her up on her offer to divorce.

Be careful what you ask for. How fitting that of all the things she’d asked for in her life and hadn’t gotten, she would actually get the one thing that would hurt the most.

She put Bobby’s plate on his tray and gave him his fork. The thought of what a divorce would mean to this happy child made it nearly impossible to look him full in the face.

“Do you have special plans for today?” Reece asked, and Leah felt her nerves jump. She managed to glance his way briefly, but not to actually make eye contact before she focused on filling her own plate.

“I thought I might go to San Antonio to find something new for Saturday. It could wait till tomorrow if you have something you need done today.”

“Wouldn’t mind ridin’ along,” he said, his low voice oddly gruff. “What time?”

The information was a surprise, but then Leah realized that Reece might have planned for them to consult with their lawyer as soon as possible. Or rather, he would consult with his lawyer while she found one to represent her.

“I’d planned to leave you a cold lunch and start midmorning, but we could go anytime. Just so I have an hour or so to shop.”

At this point, there was no sense in dancing around the subject that had to be dominating his thoughts as strongly as it was hers. And if she had to find a lawyer, she might as well know it now so she could check the Yellow Pages before they set out.

“So you’ve made your decision?” Leah asked, then made the mistake of taking a bite of fluffy eggs before she realized she probably wouldn’t be able to swallow them past the huge lump of dread in her throat.

The charged silence that followed her question increased her self-consciousness. She reached for her coffee cup to try to wash down the eggs.

Reece didn’t answer right away, and his silence felt ominous. She set down her coffee cup and glanced at him the tiniest second to find her gaze trapped by the laser intensity of his. As if he’d been waiting for her full attention, he gave her his answer.

“I won’t tell my boy that I divorced his mama because I couldn’t live up to my end of a commitment. There’ll be no divorce.”

The growling words were a complete and utter shock. If she hadn’t been sitting, her knees would have given out. In the next second she experienced such a stab of panic that it was all she could do to not jump up and flee.

Reece’s grim expression was intimidating, and she weathered another wave of panic. The only thing worse than divorce would be for Reece to tough it out and stay married to her. But how long would it be before he regretted—and then bitterly resented—giving up the chance to divorce her early on so he’d be free to find a woman more compatible with his idea of marital satisfaction?

Or would Reece make an effort for a while, but then realize he simply couldn’t tolerate going through the motions with a woman he couldn’t truly care for? By then, either her hope would be soaring at an all-time high only to be cruelly disappointed, or she’d suffer through all his efforts knowing every moment that it was only because of his iron-willed determination that he stuck it out with her.

Worst of all, how long before Bobby would be old enough to realize his parents didn’t love each other? And when he figured out the depth of the personal sacrifice Reece had made for his sake, would he feel gratitude or would he feel guilt? Would he blame Leah for his father’s unhappiness? Or would he figure out what Reece seemed oblivious to so far: that Leah had taken advantage of his father at a vulnerable time?

There was literally no way for the three of them to be happy for any length of time, if ever, under any of those circumstances. Because Leah believed so absolutely that Reece would never come to love her, she ignored that possibility altogether. And without even the possibility of love, could there ever be anything certain ahead except a new level of misery for them all?

Leah’s gaze shifted from Reece’s. She knew she must have telegraphed her distress to Reece when he spoke.

“Wasn’t that the answer you wanted to hear?”

Leah dropped her hand to her lap and gripped her napkin. She felt sick suddenly, so any further attempt to eat would be futile. She tried to come up with the right thing to say.

“You’re a very good man, Reece. And an honorable one.” She made herself look over at him so he could see that she meant those words completely. The hard glitter in his dark eyes didn’t make it easy to go on. “I think you’ll work very hard to make something of this marriage. I should have expected you to react this way…” She let her voice trail off the moment she saw the spark of temper as he sensed what she would say next. She went determinedly on.

“But I’m certain once you’ve truly had time to consider it, you’ll see things the other way.” She gripped her hands together in her lap as she struggled to present a neutral expression. “I won’t hold you to anything but shared custody of Bobby when the time comes.”