Rebecca Kertz - Loving Isaac

“G’mammi!” the child exclaimed as he threw himself against Mam.

Ellen saw Katie and halted a few feet away. “Now I know why he was running this way,” she said with a grin.

“He’s having a gut time with you, I see,” Dat said.

“I’ve been having a gut time myself, Samuel.”

“You like children,” Isaac commented, unable to help himself.

She stiffened as if she’d just realized that he was there, but then he saw her relax as if she’d come to accept his presence. “Ja, I do.”

They chatted for several minutes about Katie and Samuel’s grandchildren and how much all of them had grown. Then Jedidiah picked up his son and accompanied their parents toward the house, leaving Isaac alone with Ellen.

He studied Ellen intently. “Your bruises... Your cheek looks better, but now you have one on your forehead.” He paused. “You’re feeling better?” he asked softly.

She nodded. “Ja, much better.”

He looked at her approvingly. “Gut.”

Sarah approached. “Ellen, may I talk with you for a moment?” She waved Ellen to follow and the two women moved away to chat privately.

Isaac wondered what they were discussing. He saw Ellen nod with a smile and Sarah grin, looking pleased.

“I think Sarah is asking Ellen if she’ll help out after the baby comes,” Jedidiah said softly as he rejoined Isaac.

Isaac glanced at his brother with surprise. “You mean Sarah’s...?”

Jed beamed. “Ja.”

“God has blessed you, Bruder.” Isaac was pleased for his oldest brother, who dearly loved his wife and son. “I’m happy for you.”

His brother looked at him. “One day you’ll have a family of your own.”

Isaac shook his head. “Not anytime soon. I learned a hard lesson with Nancy.”

“The Englisher was never like the girls in our community.” Jedidiah hesitated. “We were worried from the start that she’d hurt you.”

Isaac felt his stomach tighten. “I never knew you felt that way. You were all kind to her.”

“And why wouldn’t we be? You liked her. We hoped we were wrong, but she didn’t seem as involved in your relationship as you.”

Isaac sighed. If only he’d been smart enough then to realize the truth—that Nancy never cared for him. He thought of Ellen and recalled the friendship they’d once shared. Fool that he was, he’d tossed it away in favor of Nancy, believed Nancy over her when Ellen had wanted only to make him see Nancy’s true nature.

Too many regrets. He didn’t want to talk or even think about Nancy any more. She was gone, and he was glad. Jedidiah was an astute man and he let lie the topic of his past relationship with her.

Sarah and Ellen approached. “We’re going to see to lunch. Either one of you hungry?”

“I am,” Jed said.

Sarah gazed at him with affection. “You’re always hungry.”

“Always for your cherry pie.”

“I didn’t make a cherry pie for today.”

“I made a cherry pie,” Ellen said with a smile.

Jed’s dark eyes lit up, and Isaac groaned as he shook his head. “What is it with my bruders and their sweets?” he groused.

Ellen raised one eyebrow. “You don’t care for sweets?”

“I like them well enough, but my older bruders are obsessed.”

“You don’t like snitz or custard pie, I imagine,” Ellen said.

“Custard pie?” Isaac asked. He enjoyed custard pie.

“Vanilla custard.” She looked amused.

“I like custard pie. You made one?”

She nodded. “Too bad you don’t like sweets. Fortunately, there are plenty of folk here who will be happy to eat my custard pie.” She walked away with a laugh and Isaac could only stare at her. A small smile curved his lips and he chuckled. I deserved that. But if she thinks I’ll not be getting a slice of that custard pie, she is mistaken. She’s yet to learn how determined I can be to get what I want.

It wasn’t long until food was put on the table that he and Jed had set in the backyard. Besides the Masts and his own family, the Kings, the Peachys, the Zooks, and Alta Hershberger and her two daughters had come to share their visiting day. This was Jed and Sarah’s first gathering at the farm. Watching his sister-in-law move among her guests, Isaac felt admiration for Sarah’s ease with having so many people at her home. He wondered if he’d ever have a place where he could invite family and friends and feel so comfortable with them. Ever since the night when Whittier’s Store was vandalized by Nancy’s brother and his friends, he hadn’t known a moment’s peace. He’d taken the blame for something he didn’t do, not because Nancy had asked him to—although she had—but because he’d been protecting a male friend, another member of their Amish community. Other church members, he knew, now looked at him with disappointment. It bothered him that they’d never questioned whether or not he could have been guilty, but just accepted that he was. He didn’t feel less in the eyes of his family. His mother and father were supportive of all of their children, but he couldn’t help feeling as if he’d let them down, too.

He’d hoped that his friend Henry would come forward and confess his part in the Whittier’s Store debacle. But Henry had kept silent and remained noticeably absent from the community and Isaac’s life. Apparently afraid to speak up after seeing how the community reacted to Isaac’s guilt, Henry must have been unable to bear what would happen if he were to admit that he was one of the guilty parties.

No one is more disappointed with me than I am, Isaac thought. By taking the blame, he had effectively lied. And that was what made it difficult for him to stay in Happiness. As hard as it would be to live out in the English world, it might be better than living here without joining the Amish church. And how could he join the church when he didn’t feel worthy?

Seeing Ellen with his nephew made him think of simpler, happier times when he and she roamed the countryside together as friends. He’d made a terrible mistake when he’d taken up with Nancy, Brad and their English friends. Now he was destined to pay for it.

* * *

Ellen did what she could to help Sarah put out lunch before she went in search of her friend Elizabeth. She was eager to go rumspringa and she wanted Elizabeth to go with her. She found Elizabeth with a group of young people, including the Peachy siblings and Peter Zook, who had congregated near the pasture fence.

“Elizabeth,” she called as she approached. Her friend’s eyes brightened when she saw her. “May we talk?” Ellen asked.

Elizabeth said something to the group before she joined Ellen, who stood on the outskirts several yards away. “Is there something wrong?” her friend asked.

“Nay, I want to go into Lancaster next Saturday.”

Her eyes gleamed. “A rumspringa adventure?” Elizabeth asked.

“Ja. Would you like to go?”

“Ja.” Elizabeth nodded vigorously. “What should we tell our eldre?”

“The truth,” Ellen said, hoping her parents would approve.

Her friend agreed. “What will we do?”

“Shop? Eat? See a movie?” Ellen grinned. “Whatever we want to do.” Check out the Westmore Clinic for Special Children, she thought.

After talking with her friend, Ellen grew more excited about the trip and couldn’t wait to ask her mam and dat for permission. But she decided to wait until later to approach them.

* * *

“Dat, Mam,” Ellen said after they had returned from Jedidiah and Sarah’s house and everyone had settled in at home. “I’d like to go into Lancaster with Elizabeth next Saturday.”

Her father frowned as he faced her. “Why?”

Ellen felt her belly flutter with nerves. “We want to go on rumspringa. I’m old enough to experience the English world. We thought we’d get something to eat and wander about the outlet mall.”