Michelle Monkou - The One That I Want

Gripping his shoulders, she stayed perched around his hips. As he picked up the pace to thrust into her, he came hard. And she thanked her luck that she’d met this wonderful man tonight.

They finally had touched down and coasted back to reality. Only their uneven breaths added sound to the silence. Within each other’s embrace, they ushered in a calm, reflective mood after their steamy, passionate union.

“Whew,” Laxmi said to ward off the onset of nerves. “I would say let’s go for round two, but a girl’s got a business to run.” She slid along the wall to free herself and her mind from Dresden’s proximity.

“And I’ve got a plane to catch in a few hours.” He looked at his watch and didn’t look her way again.

“I’ll just step into the bathroom.” Laxmi straightened her clothes and headed for the door.

* * *

Dresden released a breath when the bathroom door closed. If he was hooked up to diagnostic machines, the readout would be haphazard. Emotions and hard thinking battled for his mind’s forefront.

Never having been high, he imagined this floating sensation and craving for more must come pretty close. But the changes in him weren’t only physical. That scared him. The shift toward wanting Laxmi, wanting to be friends, wanting more than that, was too swift. He didn’t operate on impulse. Well, up to a few minutes ago, he’d have made that claim.

But her kick-ass style and fearless approach stirred desire. He wanted the time to get to know her. And he hoped that she’d let him convince her that he was worth the effort.

* * *

Behind the closed door, in much-needed privacy, she cleaned up while her mind scrolled through a panicked stream of thoughts. A ragged edge of self-doubt gnawed at her confidence. If she hadn’t pushed her way into Dresden’s space, would he have been interested? She knew the answer, as she leaned in to the mirror, peering at her reflection as if it was an out-of-body experience. So far tonight, she had walked on the wild side, but was still uncertain about how the final credits would roll. Unplanned moments had a tendency to go haywire. Right now, her emotions were running ahead of her logic, looking to escape.

Was she the bad guy? Cut and run and never look back. Or could she play the good girl? Diplomatic and vague, but still run. Her past was her being the naive woman hanging on too long to a bad apple. She’d played at being cavalier with Dresden. But the plan had backfired. She was far from unaffected by Dresden. Too dangerous to her willpower. A fast retreat was necessary.

Laxmi reapplied her lipstick, dabbed at the sheen on her forehead and smoothed her hair back into place, as much as possible. A twist here and a turn there, she finished the inspection on her clothes. Her thong. Still on the lampshade. Time to head back out there and act like she wasn’t a case of nerves.

No matter how she felt, she didn’t wish him to be constrained by her insecurities. Keep things simple and not emo-girl whiny. Taking deep breaths in and out, Laxmi was ready to play the role of independent, emotionally detached young woman.

At first she didn’t see or hear him when she emerged from the bathroom. Even if he was inclined, there weren’t too many places to jump out and scare her. Anyway, she hurried over to the side table and grabbed her underwear. She’d just pulled her dress down when the sound of a key card activating the door stopped her plan to search for him behind the thick drapes.

“I bought a couple sodas.” He handed her a cold Coke. His eyes shifted from around the room to her outstretched hand, but never to her face.

Was he feeling regret? Shame? Or was he in need of closure?

“Thanks. That’s thoughtful.” She didn’t drink sodas, but the correction didn’t matter. Her fingers brushed along his—deliberate on her part. She wanted contact and a signal that nothing would be awkward. Still he didn’t bring his gaze back to her. Things would be awkward.

“Did you need anything else?” He motioned with his chin toward the bathroom.

“I’m good.” Why did he have to look all pulled together? Meanwhile, a few minutes ago, her hair had sported a bad case of bed-head. Smeared lipstick had given her the clown-mouth effect. And her skin had appeared dewy from the naturally sweaty workout.

Not fair.

Laxmi grabbed her keys and pocketbook. She took a pass on offering her hand for a shake or tiptoeing to meet his lips for a kiss. Instead she said, “Hope everything works out for you. If you’re ever in the city, you have my card.”

She hurriedly opened the door and stepped into the hallway, praying it would quickly swing shut. She sounded like a handyman hoping for a call back after tackling a problem.

“Wait. I’ll walk with you.”

“Not necessary.” She sped up her retreat to the elevator. “I’m in a rush.”

His unhurried footsteps followed her quick strides. She turned the corner to the bank of elevators, ready to summon one. The longer she stayed in this building, the more trapped she felt. Fresh air would help a lot. She waited with a small huddle of hotel guests, hoping that the elevator arrived before Dresden.

But he appeared around the corner, still unhurried, not breathing as if he had to catch up to the finish line, unlike her heaving chest. Maybe he recognized the lack of privacy, because he said nothing, his face a stoic mask. Instead he stood next to her, joining everyone’s stance to stare at the numbers above the elevator as it moved up or down.

Finally a chime behind them indicated a door would open. Laxmi waited for the family of four to board the space before she stepped in and faced front, while Dresden followed suit.

The other guests continued with their conversation, which helped to make the ride down slightly bearable.

“You really didn’t have to come with me,” she whispered.

“You’ve made that clear.”

He sounded annoyed.

The door opened and Laxmi almost tumbled out, glad to be free from the confining space. Now that the exit wasn’t far from where she stood, her equilibrium righted to stiffen her spine.

“Why are you running?” His attention stayed with the flow of foot traffic coming and going through the entrance.

“I’m not. It’s just time for me to go.” She didn’t slow down as she headed through the doors and requested her car.

“And I thought that I was the one to run.” He barely smiled at his joke.

“If I stay, we’d be breaking our pact to remain uninvolved. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I came to a birthday party to hang out with my friend and catch up on our years apart while eating birthday cake. And you were going to be introduced to Grace’s circle.” She stepped off the curb to head for her car that had pulled up. “We were the anomaly of the evening.”

“I have no complaints.” He remained on the curb.

She looked over the top of the car at him. “Neither do I.”

“Well, break the rule. Let’s do this.” His suggestion touched her like the gentleness of his hand cupping her face.

She looked up at the dark night, unable to see any stars. Bright city lights illuminated the steep heights of the buildings. Once upon a time, she had broken lots of rules, done things her way, and had a lot to be sorry for in the process.

Dresden hadn’t moved or changed his expression. Still the handsome guy who’d caught her eye. Did he understand the consequences of tossing out that temptation as a finale for the night?

“Let’s end on a high note.” She got into her car before he responded and before she changed her mind.

Her passenger door opened. Dresden leaned in. “Maybe we’re more alike than you think. And—”

“No.” She shook her head for added emphasis. “You’re in Canada. I’m in New York.”