Laura Abbot - A Family Found

“I doubt it shall ever leave me, but I am determined to quit living in the limbo of my regrets.”

“Is Estes Park the answer?” Effie set the cups down and took a seat.

“I know it sounds ridiculous, but I truly think it may be. I need a new place. One where my lungs fill with fresh air and my eyes are dazzled...”

“Are you running away or running toward, I wonder.”

Sophie watched the steam rise from her tea. Outside a dog barked. “In truth, a bit of both.” She took a warming sip. “I love my family, but I couldn’t stay in Cottonwood Falls, as much as the Flint Hills are my heart’s home. To watch Caleb and Lily together, so happy and fulfilled by little Mattie and Harmony. To live in the same house with Rose and Seth, the dearest souls on earth, and envy their luck with Alf and little Andy was stifling. All the time knowing what I’d had and lost, never to regain. I caught myself becoming resentful, self-pitying and, worse, angry with God.”

“I’m so sorry, dear.”

“Then whenever I saw that beautiful new courthouse, where every single stone had passed through my Charlie’s hands, I...I...” She swiped at her eyes, then laughed derisively. “Well, you see, then. Something had to change. I have to change.” Clearing her throat, she went on. “I’ve always enjoyed reading travel articles and books, and descriptions of the Rocky Mountains captivated me. Then one day, sitting in church, I heard these words as if for the first time, ‘I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.’ And I knew. I had to come here. Thanks to dear Caleb, I have been led to you and the major and your loving hospitality.”

Effie cupped her drink in both hands. “I know some of your story from Caleb, but you’ve never spoken of your Charlie.”

Sophie wondered if she was able to bare her soul. After a moment of thought it became clear to her that doing so was an essential part of this journey upon which she was embarking.

She fortified herself with a gulp of tea before beginning. “My Charlie. He was mine. I was his. He came out of the blue, as if God-sent. Who would suppose a master stonemason from New England would come to tiny Cottonwood Falls? It defies belief. Yet there he was, supervising the building of our new courthouse. I had always heard about Yankee reserve, but Charlie was outgoing and fun and had never met a stranger. He was steady and had a deep side to him, a sensitive side, you might say. Although I tried at first to hide it, it was love at first sight. For both of us, I think.” She managed a sad smile. “Believe me, it wasn’t easy courting under the eyes of two brothers, a father and a host of workmen. Buggy rides, picnics by the river... Oh, Effie, what good times we had.” She paused, remembering Charlie’s piercing black eyes, his ruddy complexion, his tender kisses.

“Go on,” said Effie kindly.

“One of the best days of my life was the Courthouse Ball celebrating the completion of the building. It is a splendid structure, the limestone quarried locally, with beautiful woodwork and a clock tower—far more elegant than you would expect in our little town. At the ball, my Charlie stepped onto the platform and told the world that I had agreed to marry him. He looked so handsome, so proud...” How could she tell the next part—the part that had gutted her?

“I’ll understand if you prefer not to go on, dear.” Effie’s eyes were filled with compassion.

“No. I’ve started. It’s important for me to finish.” Sophie shoved her cup to the center of the table, squared her shoulders and continued. “We were to be married after Charlie finished a job at one of the colleges some miles away. During that time, we were able to see each other occasionally. It was fun planning a wedding and talking about our future. Then shortly before the wedding, he received an attractive offer to go to Chicago and oversee a huge project. I could have gone with him. However, fearing he would have little time to devote to me there, we decided to postpone the wedding, save some money and then settle permanently someplace.” She shook her head. “So that’s what we did.”

“But...?”

Caleb had undoubtedly told the Hurlburts about her past. She could stop now. It would be all right. To do so, though, would diminish the power of the love they’d shared. “It was the autumn of 1875. I was gathering pumpkins under a bright October sky. The Flint Hills spread out before me like a giant jigsaw puzzle. In the distance I could see Charlie’s clock tower. Lost in my memories of him, I looked up and saw a sudden cloud obscuring the sun. A cold blast swept over me, and I shivered. Later, I remembered that moment, remembered that hint of premonition.” Swallowing, she forced herself to finish. “Two days later the telegram came. My Charlie... A scaffold high on the building had broken. My beloved plunged to his death.”

Effie gasped in sympathy. “Oh, my poor dear. How devastated you must have been.”

“Still am,” she whispered. “I loved him so.” A long minute passed. “So you see why I had to leave the one place where I saw my Charlie at every turn, where I encountered the richly deserved happiness of those I love, a happiness of which I am deprived. I was making myself sick brooding about what might have been. That’s why I’m going to the mountains, Effie.” She paused momentarily, remembering the Devanes’ gift of the money Charlie had saved to set up housekeeping—money that was funding her stay in Colorado. “There I hope to find myself and make peace with the God who claimed my love too soon.”

Effie gripped Sophie’s hands in hers. “Sophie, child, you are doing what you must. I will be praying in the days ahead that you find the solace you seek and the peace God has in store for you. Indeed. Lift your eyes to the hills. Your help will come from the Lord.”

“Thank you.”

Effie rose. “And now, off to bed with you or you’ll fall asleep on your horse tomorrow.”

Sophie embraced Effie and retired to the guest room. As she hung up her lovely blue satin gown, she ran her fingers over the soft fabric, knowing that it would be many months before she again had need of such a frock, if ever. One chapter of her life was closing and a new one was opening. Thanks to Effie, she felt lighter, less burdened. A good way to begin her new adventure. She slipped between the sheets, said a prayer for the repose of Charlie’s soul as she always did and fell into a peaceful sleep.

Chapter Two

Dressed in riding bloomers concealed under a full overskirt, Sophie waited with Effie in the early-morning light while the major led her recently purchased gray gelding from the barn. “You know your horseflesh,” he said, stroking the animal’s neck. “Ranger here should have the stamina and agility for mountain trails.”

“I agree. Besides—” she grinned “—he’s handsome, as well.” Turning to Effie, she let herself sink into the older woman’s warm embrace. “Thank you for everything, most of all for your encouragement. It’s been a difficult few years, but now I feel ready for whatever comes.”

“Keep in touch, my dear. We’ll be eager to hear of your adventures.” Effie held her at arm’s length. “But don’t be foolhardy.”

“I’ll try to behave myself.”

Robert handed her the reins and stood by while she mounted. “If you have half the good sense your brother Caleb showed with the cavalry, you’ll be fine. Godspeed, dear girl.”

Tate Lockwood rode over from the stock tank where he’d been watering his horse. “All set?”

Sophie blinked twice. This mountain man—dressed in worn breeches, scuffed boots, a chamois shirt and a leather, sheepskin-lined coat—bore no resemblance to the gentrified man of the evening before. In fact, last night, she’d questioned whether such a sophisticated gentleman was capable of handling the rigors of the high country. “I’m ready.”