AJ stared at him, suddenly bone-weary. If only he knew how much she longed to be in it for the long haul, as he put it. She took a deep breath, shoving back the emotion burning behind her eyes. The emotion she could never reveal because every time she did, she was disappointed. Again.
“I’ll stop when I know that I’m where God wants me to be. Then it will be time to put down roots.”
“What’s if that’s Big Heart Ranch?”
“I’m not ruling it out.”
Silence hung in the air as AJ considered his words. Her plan? God’s plan? She’d take either at the moment, praying one of those plans included an end to her drifting, and finding a place where she was actually wanted. Needed.
“Mind if I ask a personal question?” he finally said.
“I won’t know if I mind until you ask.”
“Fair enough.” A small smile lifted his lips. “Who’s Gus?”
“My horse. A gift from my mother.”
“Why don’t you move him over to Big Heart?”
“It’s complicated.”
“I understand complicated. Why don’t you try me?”
“Look, I’d rather not move Gus and have to move him back if this job doesn’t work out. Besides, Gus had a pretty big vet bill a while back and I’m still paying Lem for that.”
“This is your call, but I’m happy to help.”
“I’d rather do things my way.”
“Understood.” Travis cleared his throat. “Any idea how Jace knows that we’re applying for the grant?”
“What?” Her head jerked up at the quietly spoken question and she met Travis’s gaze.
“How does—”
“I have no idea.” She paused, struggling to read between the lines of his question. “You don’t think I told him, do you?”
“Just asking.” Travis took a deep breath.
“‘Just asking’ sounds an awful lot like an accusation to me.”
“Whoa.” He raised a hand. “I’m just doing the math.”
“You can subtract me from your equation.”
“I apologize,” Travis said.
AJ was silent, uncertain if he was sincere.
“Look,” Travis said. “You don’t know me and I really don’t know you. All I’m doing is trying to figure things out.”
Trying to figure things out. She turned to look out the window without answering. What was there to figure out? In truth, she and Travis were alike in many ways. Maybe too many ways. The thought was far from comforting and it wouldn’t secure her position at Big Heart Ranch. Not if her boss didn’t trust her.
“We sure have our work cut out for us,” Travis mused aloud minutes later. “Take tomorrow off to study the grant material. On Monday we hit the ground running. You’ll go to Tulsa with me to look at starter calves. There’s a special sale going on at an auction house near Sapulpa and then we can pick up the supplies I ordered in Pawhuska on the way back.”
“What about hiring? And who will do Rusty’s work in the meantime?”
“I have confidence you’ll figure it out. That’s what days off are for.”
“You just said—”
“Welcome to my world. You’ll be juggling saddles from this point on. And remember, that grant is my number one priority. We’re competing against Jace McAlester and he’s going to do everything he can to see that he wins.”
Juggling saddles she could handle, but why did she feel like she was caught in the middle of a tornado and the chance she’d make it out untouched was slim to nothing? She was a woman of her word, though, and was willing to pledge her heart and soul to Big Heart Ranch for the next ninety days with the hope she wouldn’t regret the decision. Once the grant was behind them, she’d reevaluate her position on the ranch. That was unless she didn’t last ninety days.
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