Kathy Douglass - The Rancher's Return

She heard the pounding of feet a second before she heard the voice. And then she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her secret after all.

“Mom?”

Chapter Three

M om? Donovan reeled at the word. Did Raven have a child? A husband? Although he’d told himself he wanted her to have moved on and made a happy life without him, the thought that she’d fallen in love with another man sucked the air from his lungs. He didn’t even try to reconcile the two opposing feelings. Emotions weren’t logical and it would be foolish to try to make sense of them.

He turned to see a boy of about eight or nine standing there looking straight at Raven. When she didn’t answer him, he directed his attention to Donovan. “Who are you?”

Donovan opened his mouth to answer but when he met the kid’s eyes he couldn’t speak. His stomach seized as if he’d been punched in the gut. The kid’s eyes were the exact shade of gray as the ones that stared at Donovan from the mirror each morning as he shaved. The same gray eyes Donovan had inherited from his father. Realization dawned fast and Donovan’s knees buckled. This boy was his son. Raven had been pregnant and he hadn’t known it. Was that what she’d planned to tell him that last day?

“Who is he, Mom?”

Donovan wanted to blurt out that he was his father but he didn’t. That would be selfish. For all Donovan knew, Raven was married and the kid might believe his stepfather was his dad. Was Raven married? Donovan looked at her left hand. No ring. Not that the absence of a wedding band meant anything. She could have taken it off to do work around the ranch. Or maybe she’d simply forgotten to put it on this morning. There were any number of reasons to explain why Raven wasn’t wearing a ring.

Raven glanced at Donovan before smiling at the boy. “This is Donovan Cordero. He’s Mr. and Mrs. Cordero’s son and a friend of mine.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Cordero are nice.” His eyes lit up and he took a step closer to Donovan. “Are you the guy who disappeared?”

Donovan managed a nod.

“Wow. Where were you? Why didn’t you come home?”

“Elias. Enough with the questions. What did you want with me?”

Elias grinned and a dimple flashed in his left cheek. Donovan also had a dimple in his left cheek. It was like seeing himself at nine years old. “I wanted to tell you there’s going to be a carnival in Sweet Briar this weekend and ask if you want to go with me.”

Raven smiled. “If I want to go with you? That’s a pretty sneaky question since I don’t remember saying you could go.”

“Oh, Mom. All the kids are going. Please.”

“I’ll decide after I see the grade on your math test.”

“Mom.”

Raven cut off Elias mid-grumble. “I need to talk to Donovan. Go start your homework.”

“Okay.” The boy took two steps then turned back around and grinned at Donovan. “Welcome home.”

“Thanks,” Donovan said but the kid had already sprinted from the room.

Neither Raven nor Donovan spoke for a minute. Donovan was in a state of shock and incapable of forming a coherent sentence. The world had completely tilted and he was struggling to get it back on its axis. Adding the new revelation to the emotional upheaval of the past five days had left him emotionally wrung out. He tried to grab hold of his rapidly shifting emotions but couldn’t get a handle on even one of them. Two thoughts kept circling his mind. I have a son. And he doesn’t know who I am.

He blew out a breath and then looked at Raven. Though she’d managed to hold it together while Elias was in the room, she was trembling again. She looked as weak as he felt.

He reached out a hand to her. “Raven.”

Her eyes filled with tears as she met his gaze. “What?”

“He’s mine, isn’t he? Elias is my son.” Although he’d known the second he’d seen the child, he needed to hear her say it.

“Yes.” That softly spoken word changed his entire life. He was a father.

He smiled. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For having my son. You didn’t have to. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”

Surprise had her deep brown eyes widening. “You’re not upset?”

“Upset? No. Why would I be?”

“Because.” She gave a nervous laugh. “I don’t know. Back then I was so afraid you’d be angry at me for getting pregnant. I worried you might think I was trying to trap you. I guess that feeling popped up now because... I don’t know.”

Donovan was angry. But not at Raven. She’d given him a son. He was angry at Karl Rivers. Because of him Donovan had been a father for nine years and not known it. He’d missed watching Raven grow bigger as their child grew within her and then holding her hand as she’d given birth to their son. He’d missed every day of his son’s life. All because of Karl Rivers.

Anger at the man consumed Donovan and nearly bubbled over. He suppressed it. He couldn’t let his fury show. If he did, Raven would believe he was angry at her.

“Are you married?”

“What?”

“Are you married? Do you have a husband? Other kids?”

Raven took two steps and got in his face. Her eyes flashed with fury although he couldn’t imagine why she was angry. It was a logical question. “You have your nerve. You vanish, leaving me pregnant and alone and out of my mind worrying about what could be happening to you. And you were fine. You could have come home anytime. You could have called to let me know you were alive and well. But you didn’t care enough about what I was going through to do that. So you don’t get to know about my life. It’s none of your business.”

“It is, too, my business. Elias is my son. If some other man is around him, I have a right to know.”

“A right?” She sputtered and her hands fisted. He’d never known Raven to be violent but a lot could have changed in ten years. Even though he doubted her personality had changed that much, he didn’t want to test that theory, so he took a step back.

“Yes. I’m Elias’s father.” Raven sucked in a breath and Donovan spoke quickly before she could get wound up again. “I’m not saying this the right way.”

“No kidding.”

“Let me try again. I’m still in a state of shock here, so if I’m fumbling for words, I apologize.”

“You’re not the only one. I’m reeling myself.”

“I’m grateful to you for having my son. For raising him. I don’t know enough words to tell you how much. But he’s my son, too, and I want the opportunity to be a part of his life. I want to get to know him. Spend time with him.”

She shook her head. “So you think you’re just going to waltz back into town and into Elias’s life and act as if you haven’t been missing in action for the past decade? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I know I haven’t been a part of Elias’s life, but I want to be. I’m back now.”

“For how long?”

“I’m staying.”

Raven put a hand on her forehead. He wished he could know what she was thinking but maybe it was best that he couldn’t. His head was so full that he didn’t think he could hold another thought. “I haven’t seen or heard from you in ten years, Donovan. Ten years. Surely you don’t expect me to just let you hang out with my son. I don’t trust you that much. Or at all, really. For all I know, you could take my son and vanish for another ten years.”

“Our son. And no. I don’t expect you to let me take him places. At least not yet. But I do want to get to know him.”

She paced the room for several stressful minutes. Finally she looked at him. Her expression was firm, her eyes steel. “I’m not going to tell him who you are right now. That’s not debatable.”