Caroline Anderson - A Single Dad To Heal Her Heart

Probably just as well his phone had rung, then.

* * *

What was wrong with him? Why was he reacting like this?

She was right in front of him, so close that the scent of her shampoo, so familiar now, was drifting over him and taunting him just like it had all weekend.

How could he want her like this? He didn’t even know her—and three days under Sam’s embargo of any personal information or discussion of life back home or in the hospital hadn’t helped with that at all. She was still an unknown quantity. And if he knew nothing about her apart from that she was Oliver’s daughter, she also knew nothing about him, about his life, his family, his motivations, his commitments.

He could have told her, could have broken the embargo and spilled his guts, but he hadn’t wanted to. If he was honest, he’d enjoyed the freedom of simply being himself, without all the baggage that went with it, but there was no way he could take it any further than a mild flirtation without her knowing a whole lot more about him. It wouldn’t be fair, it wouldn’t be honest, and there was a world of difference between being frugal with the truth and denying the most important things in his life.

And anyway, he had nothing to offer her, nothing that wouldn’t be an insult.

He rested his head back and closed his eyes, but she moved her head and the scent drifted towards him again and there was no escape.

Halfway back they stopped for a drink and a leg stretch. Ed and Sam swapped places, and yet again she wasn’t next to Matt, who was now right in the back, as far away from her as he could get. Why hadn’t he offered to drive? Was he avoiding her? Maybe, after that excruciatingly embarrassing remark she’d made, not to mention the way she’d kissed him afterwards. She still couldn’t believe she’d done it, it was so unlike her to take the initiative, and she’d probably embarrassed the life out of him. Oh, well, they’d be back soon and she’d see then if she was right or not.

Finally Sam pulled up in front of her house and Matt climbed out, retrieved her rucksack and helped her into her house, then paused on the doorstep looking troubled.

‘Will you be OK on your own?’

So he was avoiding her, or he’d offer to stay with her. Sucking up her disappointment, she straightened her shoulders and plastered a bright smile on her face. ‘Yes, I’m fine. I’ve got friends round the corner if I get stuck.’

‘You’re sure? No headache, no abdominal pain, no spinal issues? Numbness, tingling anywhere?’

She sighed. ‘Matt, I’m fine ,’ she said patiently, and he gave a brief nod.

‘OK. Get checked over tomorrow, won’t you—or sooner if...?’

He hesitated a moment, his eyes locked with hers, and for a fraction of a second she thought he was going to kiss her, but then he smiled wistfully and reached out and touched her cheek, brushing it lightly with his knuckles. ‘It’s been a lot of fun. Thank you, Livvy. Take care.’

And with that he turned and walked down the path and got back into the car, and Sam pulled away, leaving her staring after them as they turned the corner and disappeared.

She closed the door with a sigh, hopped into her sitting room, lowered herself carefully onto the sofa and put her foot up.

So that was the end of that, then. So much for hoping something more might come of it. He could have stayed, or offered to come back after Ed had dropped him off, but he hadn’t, and all she could do was accept it. Not that she was looking for a relationship, in any way, but it would have been nice to be asked. Nice to be more than just fun.

Unless he was...?

Oh, idiot. He was married. Hence the guilt in his eyes, the reluctance, the harmless dalliance that didn’t break any vows but just made it a bit more fun .

That word again.

She rested her head back, closed her eyes and swallowed her disappointment. She was tired. Tired, confused and sore. That was all. And it wasn’t as if anything had really happened...

Her phone rang, and she answered it.

‘Hi, Dad. How’s things?’

‘Fine. How are you? How was the weekend?’

Confusing...

‘Great. I’m just back, actually. It was fabulous. Well, until this morning on the way up to Haystacks when I fell off the edge of a path and twisted my ankle.’

‘Ouch! Are you all right? How did you get down?’

Fast, but that wasn’t what he meant and she wasn’t telling them she could have tumbled all the way down to the bottom of the scree slope if it hadn’t been for the rock. ‘Carefully,’ she said with a wry laugh. ‘Two of the guys helped me back to the path, and then Matt carried me down. You know him, he’s one of your old registrars. Matt Hunter? He’s a consultant trauma surgeon at Yoxburgh, and he was my teammate.’

‘Matt? Wow,’ he said softly, something slightly odd in his voice that puzzled her. ‘How is he?’

Even more puzzling. ‘He’s fine. Why?’

‘I just wondered. I haven’t seen him since his wife died.’

She felt a slither of cold run down her spine. ‘His wife died ?’ she said, her voice hollow, because she’d just worked out he was married, but he wasn’t, or at least not any more...

‘Yeah. Juliet, and they had two tiny children. She had a brain haemorrhage while we were at a conference, and she didn’t make it. I’m sure I told you about it. It must have been two years ago.’

That was Matt? She felt sick. ‘You did, I remember. Oh, that’s awful. I didn’t know it was him. So he’s got two little children?’

‘Yes, a boy and a girl. They were just babies, really. I suppose Charlie must be nearly three now, and I should think Amber’s about to start school, but it was desperately sad. He’s a really nice guy—friendly, funny, easygoing, but rock solid and utterly reliable. I’m sure he’s a brilliant father.’

Her heart ached for him. ‘I’m sure he is.’ And it explained the thing she hadn’t been able to identify that lurked in the back of his eyes, and the fact that, embargo or not, every night he’d disappeared for a few minutes.

To check the children were OK, and talk to them?

And it also explained why he’d left her this evening rather than come in, and why he’d looked torn about it. Not because he was married, but because he had two little people who would have been missing him.

‘So he seemed OK to you?’ her father was asking.

Had he?

‘Yes, absolutely fine—or I thought so. He didn’t say anything about it, but Sam had banned us from talking about home or work. It was all about having a clean slate and not making pre-judgements about each other, but I would never have guessed all that in a million years.’

‘No, I don’t suppose he’d show it, anyway. He probably wanted to leave it at home. I hear he’s an excellent surgeon. He showed huge promise nine years ago, so I’m not surprised he’s a consultant now. I think he was only about thirty-four or so when Juliet died, but he’d done a spell with the Helicopter Emergency Medical Service, and by the time she died he was a specialist registrar in a major London trauma unit, poised and ready for a serious consultancy. It’s a massive career change for him to move to sleepy Suffolk, but it’s obvious why he’s done it. I know his family are in the area. Give him our best wishes when you see him again, and tell him we often think about him.’

‘I will. So—talking of fathers,’ she said, changing the subject because frankly she needed time to let all that lot settle, ‘how are the plans for your sixtieth coming on?’

He laughed ruefully. ‘I have no idea. Your mother’s sorting that out, but I believe we’re having a marquee at home and a catered buffet and dancing. Jamie’s doing the playlist so goodness knows what the music’ll be like, and Abbie and your mother have chosen the menu but I have no idea what’s on it. To be honest I’m trying not to think about it because I don’t feel that old, so I’m in denial.’