Jenna Night - Killer Country Reunion

Matt asked Shane a question and they started talking.

“So, where have you been all this time?” Caroline asked quietly from beside him.

Zane wasn’t looking to keep secrets. Not anymore. And Caroline deserved answers.

“I was in Texas for a little while. A couple of other places, and then Afghanistan.”

“So were you in military? A private contractor?”

“Army.”

“It makes sense now,” she said thoughtfully. “That explains how you got the skills to help in the police reserves.” She was studying his face. He could see her in the light from the instrument panel in the front seat and, for a couple of seconds, from the bright beams of a passing car. “It explains why you look so different, too,” she added.

“The passage of time will do that.” He felt self-conscious, wondering exactly what kind of changes she saw.

“That isn’t the only thing that changes a person.”

She was right.

“When you said we needed time apart, that you were going to leave town for a while, everybody thought you’d just be gone for a few weeks. Maybe a couple of months. Why didn’t you tell us that you were leaving to join the military? That you were going to be gone a long time?” She glanced at the two officers up front who were still carrying on their conversation. “Why didn’t you tell me ?”

The catch in her voice made the center of his chest ache. At the time he’d had no doubt she’d get over him after he left. That he wasn’t anybody special. But he’d also known she had a kind heart and might worry about him for a little while. If he’d told her what he was planning at the time, she might have tried to convince him not to go. And he would have been very tempted to listen to her.

Sitting in a patrol car with a couple of cops wasn’t exactly the place where he wanted to talk to her about the past, but what choice did he have? She’d said this ride to the house was the only time he’d have with her. If he was going to wrap up any unanswered questions for her, he had to do it now. And at least for the moment, Matt and Shane were focused on their own conversation.

“I’m sure you remember the increase in drug crime about the time I left,” he said. “Suppliers fighting over territory.”

“Remember it?” She made a scoffing sound. “My dad got killed in the middle of it.”

Zane didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Didn’t trust himself to talk about the man who’d been like a real father to him without breaking down. Caroline didn’t need that right now. She needed someone strong she could lean on.

“Did you know he’d been shot?” Caroline asked.

“Yes.” Zane had been through basic training and shipped overseas by the time he’d heard—word had taken a while to reach him. And he hadn’t known how to react once he’d heard. There was a lot going on in his life at the time. The death of Sergeant Henry Marsh had been one very significant addition to a long list of emotional events he couldn’t deal with just then. He’d unpacked the pain of that loss a few years later, when his life had threatened to get out of control and he’d needed to face everything he’d been avoiding for so long. That was when he’d finally seen a therapist.

“Why didn’t you call us?” she asked. Her voice was cold and hard. “Send a card? Something? Did you know my mom had a heart attack shortly after it happened, leaving serious damage? That’s why Owen set up his estate with a request that I take care of Dylan instead of Mom.” Caroline shook her head. “She would have been the logical choice. She knows what she’s doing. But she doesn’t have the strength to take care of him full time until he’s an adult.”

So that was why Mrs. Marsh had looked so frail at Owen’s funeral.

“I’m sorry about your mom. And I’m sorry I didn’t call after your dad... I guess I just thought calling after leaving the way I did would make things about me at a time when they needed to be about your family.” One more thing he hadn’t handled well. But not because he hadn’t cared. Quite the opposite.

“A few days before I left, my dad showed up at my apartment in the middle of the night,” Zane said. “He told me things were changing around Cobalt and that some new business associates were going to make him rich. But they weren’t interested in working with a guy whose son was involved with a cop’s family. Told me it would be best for everyone if I left town.”

The conversation had gotten loud and ugly. Lee Coleman had been using too much of the stuff he was selling, and as a result he’d lost his job at the horse ranch where he’d worked and lived for years. The drugs made him paranoid and it had been clear he was afraid Zane would sell him out to the police.

“When he told me bad things would happen to you, your family, anyone I cared about if I didn’t get out of town, I knew I had to go. I didn’t start thinking about the military until a couple of weeks after I left. I was afraid if I called to tell you, once I heard your voice I’d change my mind and come back. And that would put you right back into danger again.”

He rubbed his hand over his face. This was old history. And it would be good to get it wrapped up so he could move on. Returning to Cobalt wasn’t about trying to relive the past. It was about pursuing his dream of working with horses. He had the opportunity to do that here. Forget trying to recapture things that he’d lost or ruined. Indulging in wishful thinking like that had made his life miserable for far too long.

“So you left when you could have stayed and helped send your dad to prison?” Caroline prompted. The anger was gone from her tone. Now she sounded aloof. Like she really didn’t want anything else to do with him.

“The local cops had started forming a task force with state and federal agencies around the time I left. I met with a couple of detectives and told them everything I knew. They asked that I not tell anyone about that meeting in order to keep my dad from finding out and retaliating.”

His dad hadn’t been involved in the Marsh shooting. But he did get busted for selling drugs and served five years in prison down in Boise. While Zane hadn’t been able to protect Sergeant Henry, at least leaving town had kept Caroline and the rest of the family safe.

A disquieting thought flickered in Zane’s mind. Could his father have had something to do with today’s attack? Zane hadn’t heard from him in years. The odds were good that he was back in Cobalt. Other than the time spent in prison, he’d never lived anywhere else.

Caroline was quiet for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell my dad what was happening? Why didn’t you stay here and let us stand by you?”

Why? Because his own dad had warned him against doing just that and had told him the same thing he always did. That Zane was his son and just like him. That the Marsh family were a completely different kind of people. Nice. Law-abiding. Churchgoing. That Zane might be able to fool them into accepting him in the short term, but in the long run they’d see what he really was. That he wasn’t worth the trouble. It was Zane’s deepest fear: he was unworthy of love. And his drug-addled dad spoke right to it.

It had taken several more years in his faith walk for Zane to be able to believe he had value simply as a child of God. Though he still had moments—sometimes whole days—when he struggled to believe that.

Caroline watched him closely, still waiting for a response.

He had been twenty years old when he’d left town, desperate to protect the young woman he loved. Of course if the same thing happened now, he would make very different decisions. Zane drew in a deep breath and blew it out. “I guess I just figured you and your family didn’t need the headache.”