Tracey J. Lyons - A Love For Lizzie

Paul met his vader ’s hard stare. Even though he’d known this time had come, it didn’t make standing here any easier. “ Ja , he did.”

“You’re going to leave your family?” His face reddened.

“I am not leaving the family.”

“That is what it sounds like to me, sohn .”

“ Daed. I’ve been looking at our sales numbers for the past few years and we could be doing better.”

“We are doing well enough.”

Paul sighed. “I want to put my furniture out where it will be seen by the tourists who are traveling through.”

“We get plenty of them right now. Besides, I need you here to help with the farm chores.”

Like most of the community, the Burkholders had both their farm and a business. Some families specialized in cheese production, others canned goods and bakery items. The Troyers had a very popular greenhouse business four miles from here. The Burkholders were cabinetmakers and furniture makers.

“I can still be doing my chores here and working on the family business.” He knew he had to tread lightly, but in his heart, Paul also knew moving his side of the business was where his future lay. Expanding into the village would eventually bring the entire family more revenue. Paul wanted to make this work. “I would like to be able to do this with your blessing.”

“You should be concentrating on finding a wife.” Vader wagged his finger at him. “You get married, have children and then you can think about this business idea. Right now your place is here, helping me keep your bruders in line, seeing to the daily chores and working here—” he paused to spread his hands wide “—with your family.”

Paul lowered his gaze to stare at the top of his boots. He wanted to give his vader time to think about the possibility of expanding, and yet if he didn’t act soon, the shop would surely be rented out to someone else. He couldn’t let that happen.

“You need time to think about this,” Paul said in a quiet voice.

“ Nee , I don’t. Your place is here.” His vader ’s tone was dismissive. “Another order for a cabinet came in while you were over at the Millers’. I wrote the dimensions down. You can get started on that.”

Paul loved and respected his vader , but he couldn’t accept his decision. Not when Paul hadn’t even shown him his plans for the new store, or explained to him how this would help the entire Burkholder family, not just himself. But his father had turned his back on him. The last time he’d wanted to go against his vader ’s wishes had been the day David Miller had died.

Paul had wanted to go play with his friends in the barn, but it had been a particularly trying day at their house with the loss of one of their cows after a difficult birth. Paul remembered wanting to be allowed to play. That day he’d followed his father’s wishes and stayed home. The outcome had left one friend dead and one scarred for life. To this day he’d felt that if he could have been there in that barn with his childhood friends, he could have prevented what had happened. Paul had never forgiven himself for what had happened.

Now, more than ever, he wanted to stand his ground. He wanted to see his dream of one day having his own store become a reality. He knew about the pride the Amish took in their families and their homes; after all he had the same pride. He’d taken his time when it’d been his turn to partake in rumspringa . Then Paul had thought about his life as an Amish man, the only life he’d ever known, and how he wanted to be a part of this church district. It had been seven years since he’d taken his vow and been baptized into the church.

He didn’t see how taking the furniture business into town meant he wouldn’t still be a part of his family’s life here. His plan had always been to live here and work in the village. He had to find a way to make his father come around and give him his blessing. There would be plenty of time later to think about taking a wife and making his own home. He closed his eyes, and for the briefest moment pictured Lizzie standing by his side.

He knew that dream was further away from reality than owning his own business was.

* * *

Lizzie sat in her vader ’s favorite chair, the one that had soft fabric covering plump cushions, and looked out the front window. It had been a very long day and she should have been sound asleep in her bed. But her mind wouldn’t settle. There were too many thoughts and memories from this day swirling around in her head. Her mamm had sent a message saying she would be staying at the hospital with her vader overnight. Sadie had offered to stay over so Lizzie wasn’t alone in the house, but Lizzie had sent her home. Lizzie didn’t mind having some quiet time to herself.

Resting her elbows on the chair arms, she looked out the window and up into the night sky. There had to be a million stars shimmering against the inky blackness. The moon was three-quarters full and cast a sharp glow over the landscape. She looked out over the yard, where the tree limbs swayed in the breeze, their shadows dancing over the dewy lawn. Behind her the clock on the mantel in the living room showed it was ten o’clock.

Lizzie curled her hand into a soft fist and tucked it beneath her chin. She sat for a few more moments, pondering the day. She thought about how kind Paul had been to her; from the moment he’d brought her the paints until the time he’d returned home, she’d felt his kindness. Lizzie wasn’t sure she deserved it. For years she’d been pushing him away. Though she appreciated his friendship, there could never be anything more between them. Even the things they wanted in life were so different.

Paul wanted to open up a shop in the village. She didn’t understand how he could walk away from his family business. He’d begun to tell her about it earlier today, but they were interrupted by the hospital receptionist. Lizzie was content to stay home with her parents and help run the household. He liked talking to strangers and making them beautiful furniture for their homes. She wasn’t comfortable being around people she didn’t know. Even on the days when she had to go to the village to shop for her mamm , she timed it so there would be hardly any crowds in the stores. Lizzie imagined she could be content to stay just as she was. And now, with her vader ’s illness, she was needed here more than ever. And when she needed a break, she could go off with her sketch pad and draw.

Off in the distance she heard the sound of a cow mooing. Lizzie looked out toward the barn. She saw a tall figure holding a lantern high.

Her heart pounded inside her chest, and then the man turned to look up at the house. Paul. Relief flooded through her as she stood up and went to open the front door. She stepped out onto the porch and waited for him to approach.

“Good evening, Lizzie.”

“You gave me quite a fright, you know,” Lizzie scolded him from the top of the porch step.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to make sure the cows were secure.”

“That’s very kind of you,” she replied, putting her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. “Oh, my. I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to be yawning at you.” A nervous laugh escaped her.

Still holding the lantern out in one hand, he shoved the other into the side pocket of his dark pants. “Don’t worry. I know you’ve had a very long day. Has there been any word on your vader ?”

“ Nee. My mamm is staying at the hospital with him tonight.”

Through the darkness he studied her, as if trying to decide if it were safe for her to remain here alone.