Danica Favorite - The Cowboy's Faith

The familiar motion of working the horse blocked out all the nagging thoughts. He touched Snookie’s back firmly, assuring her that he was there and he wasn’t going to hurt her. The harsh breath coming out of the horse’s nostrils slowed, and he could feel the rhythm of her heartbeat.

As he ran his hand along the horse, looking for sensitive places, she tensed up under his touch. A couple of unusual places for most horses, but to Fernando, they told a story. A sad story of someone who had asked too much, too soon, and hurt her when he didn’t get it.

“Who hurt you, girl?” he asked softly, touching her in another way to comfort her. He said a prayer that God would guide him and lead him as he helped her. Lord, show me exactly what I need to do to help this horse.

As he began the process of earning her trust, he could feel her leaning in and trusting him more. He continued bringing her through the exercises. She was a smart horse, a good horse, and she already knew all the things he was trying to teach her.

Snookie calmed down, and once she had settled, he knew it was time to stop.

He turned to Nicole. “We should put her away for the day. She’s been worked hard, but we’re in a good place.”

She stared at him. “What just happened there? I’ve seen things like that on videos, but never in person.”

“That was amazing,” Leah said, coming around Nicole. “I’ve never seen that horse so calm.”

He gave a quick nod to acknowledge Leah’s compliment, even though he’d done nothing special. Anyone trained to work with mustangs could have done what he just did, but it seemed rude to say so.

Nicole frowned. “How do you even have experience with horses? Adriana said the only horses you were interested in were under a car’s hood.”

He figured he’d get this question, but he wasn’t ready to answer it.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, just as I’m sure there are things I don’t know about you. I’ve spent a great deal of time working with horses, and I’ve been trained by some of the best. Maybe if we took some time to learn about each other...”

Nicole’s face darkened. “I don’t want to get to know you. I thought I made it very clear that I don’t want you in my life. You’re just here to help Snookie.”

His only concern was with making sure she was safe. But it was hard not to take her attitude toward him as a challenge. A defiant horse was often a hurting horse. Which made him wonder if her treatment of him was about her deeper pain. Could he help Nicole as well as the horse?

Even though she’d just told him she only wanted his help with Snookie, he couldn’t help but smile in response to her words.

* * *

Of all the nerve.

She’d just told him she didn’t want him here, and he’d smiled. Smiled!

“Let’s get Snookie put away,” he said. “And we can worry about the rest later.”

She’d have liked to have come back with a snappy retort or something, but Nicole could tell that her irritation was grating on her sister’s nerves. Leah had questioned her negativity earlier, and it wasn’t really directed at her sister, but she’d taken it that way.

Mostly, Nicole’s life was good. Other than the fact that she was still struggling with her fiancé and best friend running off together and getting themselves killed. Oh yeah, and they’d been carrying on behind her back for months.

Fernando could’ve saved her a whole lot of humiliation and heartbreak, and maybe even kept Brandon and Adriana from dying because they wouldn’t have needed to run off together in the middle of the night. They could’ve just been together in the open, because Nicole would’ve dumped Brandon’s sorry self and told Adriana thanks but no thanks.

But apparently, Fernando wasn’t willing to give her credit for being strong enough to deal with that information. Clearly, he didn’t think she could handle her horse, either. But he’d already proven that he knew way more about horse training than she did, so she couldn’t tell him to bug off.

“Her stall’s this way,” Nicole said, taking the rope out of his hands and leading the horse. He might have shown some skill in training, but this was her horse.

Fernando nodded and stepped in line behind her.

Why did he have to be so agreeable? It was like he knew she was only grudgingly allowing him to be here, and he was doing his best to make her like him.

She took a deep breath and willed the threatening tears to stay back. She wouldn’t cry over this. Especially not in front of anyone else. Nicole’s job in the family had always been to make them smile. Maybe it wasn’t her official title, but that’s what she knew her sisters counted on her for. Being cheerful, happy and the life of the party.

Maybe that was who she used to be, but it wasn’t who she was anymore. The animals were the only safe things in her life. More important, they weren’t telling her what to do, how she should live her life. They just let her be her, without judging her.

Fernando opened the barn door for her, a task she could have done on her own, but he seemed determined to prove that he could help her.

So Fernando felt bad about what happened? Good for him. Maybe he thought that by doing a few good deeds for Nicole, everything would be all right. But it didn’t work that way. And even though everything that happened technically wasn’t his fault, it was nice to have someone to blame, since the real people she was mad at were dead.

She led Snookie into her stall and removed the halter. “There you go, girl. Nice job today. Are you ready for your supper?”

It was tempting to add that the silly horse was a traitor, falling so easily for her sworn enemy’s charms. Because he was charming. And once, back when her life seemed simpler, she’d even joked to Adriana that were Nicole not happily engaged, she’d have thought Fernando a hottie.

“I can help, if you like. Two flakes of hay?”

Once again, Fernando was trying to be helpful. Were it any other person, she wouldn’t feel so much resentment about his assistance. In fact, she’d be grateful.

But this was the man who symbolized all her pain.

And yes, she knew all the classic psychological speak for everything going on. People acted like she was stupid because she was a preschool teacher. But she did have her master’s, and she’d taken enough psychology courses in the process to grasp all the technical details about what she was dealing with. All the classic stages of grief.

“Yes,” she muttered, trying not to sound like such an ingrate. Were a stranger to peek into her life, they might think she was a horrible person for how she was treating Fernando.

In a way, she kind of felt that way about herself. But the pain in her heart was like a throbbing headache that only got worse when Fernando was near. Right now, it was like the kind of migraine that made you throw up.

Once Snookie was fed, Leah invited Fernando into the house for a glass of iced tea while they waited for Shane to come over, making the pain in Nicole’s heart even worse. Throwing up was almost an option. But instead, Nicole smiled. And she meekly followed them into the house, keeping the smile firmly planted on her face while figuring out how she was going to handle accepting help from the person she despised the most.

No, it probably wasn’t the most healthy thing for her to be doing, but it felt a whole lot better than falling apart over something that could never be fixed.

Fortunately, Shane didn’t take too long in arriving.

“Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner. The fence on the back pasture is down in a few spots, and I wanted to get it fixed before you guys moved the herd there tomorrow.”