“Not helping.” Eve shot her friend a look.
“Truth hurts,” Kylie shot back.
“The baby is his?” Holly asked.
“No.” Eve glanced down at the sleeping baby girl. “She’s the daughter of our best friends, James and Hanna. They were killed. I guess in an accident. I can’t remember if he told me.”
The grief washed over her again, squeezing her heart until she wanted to beg for mercy. She’d been so selfish. She’d been so focused on her own life. She hadn’t even known. She had no one to blame but herself.
“I can’t believe they’re gone.” Her arms went a little tighter around the sleeping child.
“Wow, that’s tough.” Holly bent to kiss the top of Eve’s head. “I’m sorry, I have to get back to work. Let me know if I can get you anything.”
Thirty minutes had passed since Ethan’s rapid departure. The clock on the wall continued to tick away the seconds, the minutes. She looked at Kylie.
“He’ll be back,” Kylie assured her. “Maybe he needed to hit the gas station. Or rent a hotel room.”
“He isn’t coming back. He would have answered the phone.”
“We can’t stay here all day,” Kylie said. Cara had fallen asleep in her arms. “We should head back to the ranch.”
“To do what? I don’t know the first thing about taking care of a baby.”
“Start by calling her Tori. That’s her name. And she’s precious. Look at her, Eve. Say something to her.”
“You have beautiful eyes,” Eve cooed to the little girl. Tori, all blond curls, blue eyes and dimples, grinned. She looked like Hanna. Eve felt a sob rising up in her throat, but she refused to give it room to escape. Her throat tightened with the effort. She closed her eyes and shook her head against the onslaught of emotions.
“I can’t do this.”
“You can,” Kylie insisted. “You’re strong. You’re capable.”
“Right, I can take care of myself. But I can’t take care of a child. Not on a daily basis. Watching yours for a few hours is easy. They walk, talk and can go potty all by themselves. Cara being the exception. This—” she held the baby away from her “—this is toxic.”
“She needs her diaper changed.”
Eve shuddered. “Why isn’t she potty trained?”
“Because she’s six months old. Don’t worry, you can do this. And he’ll be back. He’s only been gone for a half an hour.”
“You don’t know him the way I know him.”
“Yeah, about that.” Kylie grew serious and Eve knew more questions were coming. “Why didn’t I know about Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome?”
“Because you didn’t need to know. I ended it and we both moved on.”
“I don’t think moving on is as easy as saying the words,” Kylie said as she grabbed a diaper and wipes from the bag Ethan had left behind. A bag with several outfits, more than enough diapers, bottles, food and formula.
“It was for the best,” Eve defended. “It was the right thing to do.”
Kylie shook her head. “Right thing for who? You or him?”
“That isn’t fair.”
“Isn’t it?” Kylie asked. “You decided for him that he didn’t want to be married to someone in a wheelchair.”
“Someone he would have to take care of for the rest of his life.”
Kylie arched a brow at that. “Really? Because who is taking care of you now?”
Eve ignored the question. Kylie shook her head.
“Give me that baby. I’ll change her diaper.” Kylie settled Cara in her car seat and reached for Tori. “But you’ll have to change the next diaper.”
“You say that as if I’m going to have her for a while. I’m clearly not cut out for this. I was an only child, raised by parents who had me late in life. We didn’t socialize with people who had small children. I didn’t babysit for neighbors. I’m very unqualified for this. Why would Hanna and James think that I could be the person this baby girl needs?”
“They obviously knew you better than you know yourself. They believed you could do this. I believe you can do this.”
“That’s great, I’m glad everyone believes in me. But Tori deserves more. She deserves love and security.” Eve shook her head at the great expanse of sadness opening up inside her. “Ethan has to come back. He can’t abandon her this way.”
“I doubt he plans to abandon her. Now I’m going to change Tori and then we’ll get you both back to the ranch and settled in your place.”
“Alone?” Eve hoped she’d misunderstood. She considered herself a strong, independent woman. But a baby, by herself? All night?
Kylie gave her a quick hug. “Don’t look so lost. I promise you’ll get through this.”
“I hope you’re right, about him coming back and about surviving this.” She looked at the baby Kylie now held. “I hope she survives me.”
Kylie laughed at that. “You’ll both survive. Eve, you’re more than able.”
Would it do any good to admit she was scared to death? Probably not. Admitting fear wasn’t what she did. Ever. “Of course I am.”
An hour later Eve wasn’t convinced she would survive, not even for an afternoon.
She held Tori on her lap as Kylie showed her how to use the baby sling she’d picked up at her house. Kylie slid the cloth behind Eve’s back, settled Tori on her lap and then wrapped the baby with the cloth so that the sling held her securely in Eve’s lap.
“This will enable you to hold her and still maneuver.” Kylie made sure the cloth was secure. “It’s soft so you can keep it behind your back and when you pick her up, just wrap it around her and secure it.”
“Okay, that’s one hurdle. There are just so many things I’ve never considered, never thought I would have to consider.” Eve brushed her cheek against the top of Tori’s head. “I didn’t think she’d smell like baby powder and happiness. Ugh, listen to me. I don’t talk this way.”
Kylie sat on the sofa facing her as Tori snuggled in close, eventually becoming a heavy, sleepy weight against Eve’s shoulder.
“She’s very happy cuddled up to you.”
Eve kissed the little head that was tucked against her. “Yes, she’s happy for now. But later she’ll want bottles. She’ll be hungry. And where will she sleep?”
“She’ll have to sleep with you. We’ll push your bed against the wall and you can put her on the inside. You can take a bottle with you, in case she wakes up during the night.”
“Changing diapers?” Eve tossed out the next hurdle.
“There’s a changing pad in the diaper bag. You can put it on your desk. That gives you the ability to roll close and change her without having to bend over the sofa or bed,” Kylie offered, not seeing obstacles but solutions. That was her natural personality. Kylie was a problem solver.
The front door opened and Eve hoped beyond hope that it would be Ethan. Instead it was Sierra. She, Kylie and Eve had once been roommates. They’d had other roommates along the way but the three of them had been fixtures at the ranch since almost the beginning. Now it was just Sierra and Eve. They shared the main living area of the one-time garage turned apartment building but they each had their own bedroom, bathroom and sitting area.
Sierra looked from Kylie to Eve to the baby and froze, her eyes going wide. “No.”
She walked on to the kitchen with just that word but as she poured a cup of coffee, she shook her head. “Nope.”
“You don’t have a choice and neither does Eve. For the time being you have a new roommate.” Kylie shot Sierra a warning look. “And you’ll love her.”
“I don’t think so. Babies smell, they cry, they need constant attention. Why is she here? Is there something you haven’t told us, Eve?” Sierra wandered into the living room with her coffee. She stared down at the baby on Eve’s lap and shook her head again. “It’s cute, but I guarantee you, it won’t be cute for long. They’re like puppies. They grow up.”
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